Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

[sazzafrazz]

Wow Jason, Louisa certainly is growing!! Thats fantastic news. Celeste is still inthe bottom 10% for weight but 25% for length. Im happy with that though cause she did drop to the 5%for weight for a bit there. She is catching up now though. I think she will be a slight girl till mid high school like I was. I was skinny as a kid too.

How cute is that new nappy ad with the baby making the big fart noise? Cracks me up! hehe

Thanks Monnie for your words. Can imagine how you felt when the niece dropped Felix!!!! I would have cried I reckon.
It is hard not to take things personally when people offer advice but if offered in the right way it helps.

People, please dont think I dont let DH do anything for Celeste. In the evenings he spends a lot of time settling her, especially if she has had a really unsettled day (like yesterday) and often I will go to bed after the last feed and he sorts her out. Or in the mornings I give him to her in bed while I shower and sort the dogs out. It is just that when I can hear her screaming with a stuck burp and he is thinking she needs her nappy changed I just want to go tell him to pick her up as I know it will fix things right away, instead of her screaming for 5mins while he struggles with the nappy. I guess it took such effort to get BF sorted out and she fed so often in the early days that there was very little time I could be away conveniently and I have just gotten used to it.

Have to give myself a pat on the back: yesterday we went to a meeting and Celeste was not settled so I let our friend's almost 12yo daughter take her for a little walk in the pram. DH gave me "the look" which meant "are you sure?" and another bloke on the other side of the room did too which I thought was a bit rude. As soon as they left the room I was worried and wanted to rush out and bring her back but I didnt. They were gone for 10mins or so and of course everything was ok. Celeste was happy as larry when they came back and I felt soooo relieved. It really was a big step for me to let her out of my control for that time. Not wanting to do it again too soon though. Need a haircut soon, will try making it when DH can have Celeste. Not sure if she would take a bottle if Im not there to feed her. Have offered her some water in this heat and not sure if it is the bottle or the water she is refusing? Must find out how much EBM to have on hand if needed at some stage.... ok rambling now hehe.

Yeah, fur babies are great. We got our first dog the year we got married and still have her now. I was worried how she would cope with a baby after having her for 12years but she has been really good.

Mums group has been really good for me. It is hard to know if anyone else has had TTC issues there. It kind of makes me feel different to the rest of the group same as with my baby buddies group too. There is one mum there who cant BF and I s'pose she feels different to the group too: we all have our own issues I guess.

Well that's it for me at present... hello all!

[sushee]

Sazz,

I can so relate to wanting total control over bub - I was definitely the same. Yes DH could look after him, but I wouldn't allow anyone else to, even for a little while, esp when he was young. I got better as he got older, and would go to dinner with MIL while DH watched him, but I worried about him and felt like I was being 'forced' away from him.

The biggest challenge for me was when he went to daycare at 18 months - just one day a week. I have a thread about it somewhere. I was absolutely devastated about not having him with me anymore. But it's been 6 months now, and he's now in 4 days a week while I work, and it's been good for me and for him. I was probably way too overprotective of him, and resented the time he spent away from me, and while I look back on that as an intense bonding time for us, he's now growing older and learning to be more independant.

It'll come for you too, and you will adapt. But for now, I reckon it's okay to want to be there for her every minute of everyday! Well of course I'd think it's okay, I did it too! Lol!

[Willow]

Sushee, I remember when Charlie started day care - I can't believe that was 6 months ago!!!

[sushee]

I know, Willow. I can't believe it either. You should see him now, as soon as he gets dropped off he's off and playing. Even gives me a kiss and waves goodbye. He really has adapted well to it. I, on the other hand, still miss him soooo much.

[Willow]

Awww Sushee, it's awesome that he enjoys it though, makes it so much easier on mum.

My DD started preschool this year and I've had her standing at the gate at pick up time telling me to get back in the car and go home

[mako]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAZZ.I hope you had a great day today.

Not too much going on here atm. Sage is still having trouble with his tooth.
He has just discovered that he can giggle out loud now which is hilarious and oh so cute. He is rolling all over the place too.

I hope you and bubs are all ok. Its been a bit quiet in here for a while. I know how busy I am so I imagine you are all just as busy too.

[monnie]

Ohhh...Sazz...happy birthday!

Hope you had a fantastic day!

Mako...sorry to hear that Sage's tooth is still causing problems. Felix has got 2 teeth now...the 2nd was nowhere near as bad as the 1st...hope that's the same for Sage.

To everyone else...hope things are going well!

I've got the next week off...YAYAYAY!!! Will be so nice not to have to balance work and mummyhood for a little while. I still find it a real challenge. Both Felix and I have been sick...poor little Felix blew his first 'snot bubbles' yesterday...a real milestone!!!

So glad we bought a vapouriser a little while ago...makes a big difference to his sleep! Finally, he's started to sleep really well again...last night was 8 hours!!! Can't quite believe it...after 2 months of 2-3 hourly wake-ups, I'm so grateful!

Anyway...didn't want to make this all about me...

Hope all is well!

[sazzafrazz]

thanks ladies,

off to have celestes needles done in a tick..
bbl if I can

[secochook]

Happy Birthday Sazz for yesterday.

Luisa had her shots on Monday. I am glad I wasen't there as DW said she was crying so hard by the second one that no noise was coming out. She had no reaction other than a slight fever which is good.

This week has shown some great changes, better sleep patterns, including longer nights time ones. Virtually over night. She is smiling and interacting a lot more as well.

I think she has doubled in size. We will be finding out today as she has an appointment with the paedatrician today.

Hope all is well.

Jason

[sazzafrazz]

Howdy gang.

Celeste had that same awful cry Jason. It is heartwrenching. I didnt cry though, just felt like it. Luckily she had only had half a feed in the waiting room so after she started breathing again I just put her on the boob and it helped stop the sobbing. I gave her some panadol in the waiting room before hand and she has had another dose just now but having trouble going off to sleep so I tried the dummy on her. She has never been interested but she has taken it now and gone to sleep! I took it away after she was zonked. WOW, she has never wanted it before, she must have been really upset! Her checkup was good though with her hips a-ok. DH has hip displacia and hers were a bit clicky but now all good. She has some marks on her face/neck that I wanted to make sure were the kind that fade and they should be gone by 12months of age. She is doing all the right things developmentally so all is good! My checkup was good too and I got a pat on the back for doing my abdo stuff from after the c-section.

She has had a lot of development over the last few weeks also. She has always been very responsive and communicative but now chats away to everyone (even the doctor before the jabs) She now sleeps through the night if I make sure I feed her around 10 or 11pm. She is trying to roll. And the big development yesterday was grasping a toy put into her hand. She is much more interested in books now and I can show her an entire picture book twice through but a few weeks ago she would lose interest after a couple of pages. It is so exciting seeing them develop but scary how fast it is going too. I am kind of freaked out how fast time is passing. hehe.

Mako, how cute is the giggling Sage is doing??? Celeste does the inwards giggle but not outwards if you know what I mean. (She makes a noise as she draws breath inwards) I love that sound on commercials or whatever. Might even get it as a ringtone... soooo cute. Hope is tooth settles soon, poor lil man.

Monnie, enjoy your holiday!!! I bet you will love the extra time with Felix agian. Hope you are both feeling all better soon. Yucky for him with the snotty nose. Will be better when he can blow it! Great that he is sleeping better again though especially with working.

Hello everyone else. Have a great long weekend and stay safe!
We are going to Adelaide to get Pixi Photos done on saturday, I'm all excited about it.... planning what to dress Celeste in lol.

[sazzafrazz]

We have just bought a 'family wagon'. Had to face up to the fact our little hatch back wasnt cutting it as a family car. Couldnt fit anything except the pram in there. Cant wait to pick it up: 2yr old VZ commodore exec. red Yep, we are a family and we proudly shall drive a family car lol.

One thing I've been thinking about lately: I still get that pang of envy when I hear of a new pregnancy or see a pregnant woman in the shops. It is like I had those feelings for so many years that it just comes naturally even though I have actually realised my dream of achieving it myself. Do you guys still get that? How long after your childs birth did it last? Is this normal or am I a complete nutter? hehehe.

Another thing: I hear others say they have feelings of sadness when watching their youngest do something. Like they know they wont get that newborn smell ever again or whatever... I catch myself feeling like that sometimes when Celeste is doing something. I am on the one hand enjoying the experience and sense of her achievement but on the other hand am thinking that I may never have this again if our other embies dont thaw or implant when the time comes. Do others feel this? Is it wrong to feel this way ... should I just be enjoying what I have? Yes this might be the last time but THANK GOD this is the first time too!
YKWIM?
ETA: Maybe its just the feeling that I might never have felt these things that is bothering me not the fact that I might not get it again?


Do you think you ever really get over being a LTTTC? I have a feeling it will stay with me for a long time yet.

Gotta say though that I am LOOOOOVVVVING being a Mum!!! This is the best time of my life!

Hope everyone is going well and too busy having fun with their children.

[mako]

Oh congratulations Sazz on getting a "family"car. I also have a little hatchback and yes its very tight fitting a pram and a carseat and groceries in. We also have a landcruiser but we don't drive it alot as its mainly for towing our boat or for long trips etc. Just not very practical for shopping centres and around town iykwim? I would dearly love something a bit bigger than my little charade lol.

I also get that "pang" you are talking about. I think it must be related to LTTTC. I also love seeing Sage do new things but ALWAYS say "where is my baby boy gone" He is still so small but he's just growing so fast. He has just discovered today how to make the "click" noise with his tongue.

I too would love to be able to pick when we'd like to have another bub, but in reality thats not possible. I know that we will start ttc again in the not too distant future but it took us over 2 years and alot of heartache and very tough times to have Sage and and that all could happen again. Who knows???

Kimnastics Isn't the teething hard for everyone? Sage is also teething atm and it seems to be taking forever for his 1st tooth to break through. I hope the next teeth aren't too bad for Hayden and I'm sure he loves listening to you sing

I hope you are all doing well. I can't wait to see some more of the new graduates in here soon too

[Willow]

Sazz - if you're a nutter hun then I'm in real trouble! I already have 2 babies and I still feel the pang and I still find myself trying to savour every single moment because I keep having to remind myself that this is probably the last time for me.

The thing I find the hardest - 'surprise' pregnancies. The ones that just 'happen' with no work and no thought and no heartache. I always, always think 'god, that used to be me'. Secondary infertility is so strange because I've been at both ends of the spectrum and I find myself wishing that I was back 'there' and I could still pick and choose when and how many babies I have.

I think the 'surprise' pregnancy gets me now because that's the only way it would ever happen again for me. DH isn't keen to go through IVF again (even though we still have 10 snowbubs waiting ) and is happy with 2 children. I only have about a 5% chance per cycle of falling prg naturally but I still find myself foolishly thinking 'well it could happen'...dangerous ground....

[sushee]

Secondary infertility is so strange because I've been at both ends of the spectrum and I find myself wishing that I was back 'there' and I could still pick and choose when and how many babies I have.

I relate to that so much Willow. I had no trouble falling pg before, in fact had trouble not falling pg, and I look back to that time and want to kick myself for taking that so much for granted. I have zero chance of an accidental pg now, so I still harbour so much anger at myself for having thrown away my fertility like so much meaningless garbage, when I would now give my right arm to have it. It's why I look at women having ligations and wonder if they truly know what they're giving away, and I pray for them that they never regret it.

[mako]

Sushee I also wonder about women having ligations too. DH and I have been discussing what we will do when we decide our family is complete. He has always said that he would go in for the "snip" but just the other day he suggested that I have my tubes done aswell. I'm not at all keen on either of these proceedures as it took us for what seemed like forever to have Sage and I don't want to do anything so "final" iykwim. I just want to leave our bodies just the way they are and leave all options open just incase we decide down the track that we'd like more children. I know that dh only would like 1 more bub but I don't want to agree to that just yet. I know that he wants to have this done as I'm unable to use the pill and I don't like the idea of implants or injections and DH doesn't like the option for him either

Anyway thats a bit off topic too.

Sage has been unwell the past few days. He has a cold and was really unsettled on Friday night(my mums 60th b'day) Anyway he was crying and I was really concerned about him and was feeling rather helpless when mum went off at me and said that if I didn't do something to stop his crying that he'd have a convulsion.WTF??? She said the same thing to me a few weeks ago too.As if I wasn't concerned about MY baby!!!!!! Of course I got upset then.DH was good even though he told me to calm down and not let things get to me. But how am I supposed to ignore that????

We've had a busy weekend.We went to my brothers house in the lower blue mountains yesterday so DH could do some work for him and today we went to the central coast to have a picnic with my sister and her family.
Hope you are all ok.It's been a bit quiet in here but thats understandable with these precious little bundles in our lives. They sure know how to keep thier mummys and daddys very busy.

[mako]

Thanks Kim. I asked my GP today about the convulsion thing and he laughed at me. He said in all his years of being a dr,he'd never seen a baby convulse from crying too much.
I'm dreading next Monday night cause we are all going out for my 30th and if Sage cries again I know I'll bet the same reaction from mum as last week. She just can't help herself. I saw her yesterday and I told her that I didn't appreciate her comment and she just walked away. I just don't know how I'm supposed to ignore comments like these Mum can be a good help at times but a huge PITA more often than not.

[monnie]

Oh Mako...sorry to hear that poor little Sage has a cold...it's horrible when they are just not well, hey?

Sorry to hear about your Mum's comment...glad to hear that the GP cleared up the convulsion thing...

Hoping Sage gets better really quickly...

Just wanted to add that I too really struggle with the fear of secondary infertility...we are starting to talk about when we are going to TTC again...I would love to leave it a bit longer (like when Felix is about 18 months) but given my age and our 3 year TTC journey with Felix, we don't have time on our side...

I have also had some 'pangs' recently when seeing pregnant woman...or woman with a 2+ kids...I so hope that will be us one day...but I'm just not sure if it will be...

Anyway...must go...DH needs to use my computer...will come back and chat later...

[Willow]

Mako - stick to your guns hun, if she says anything out of line, tell her! It's hard when it's your mum but at the end of the day, he's your bub! Big 3-0 hey??!! Mine's not far off either!

or woman with a 2+ kids...

Monnie - this is a killer for me because it's not very likely I'll have any more and I always, ALWAYS wanted 3. I understand your fear about ttc #2, but if I remember correctly you had success very quickly on clomid? So maybe it will happen a lot quicker this time.