[Lenny]

I was asked to write about our little success story while I was pregnant, but I wanted to save it until we had our treasure home safely with us. He is 9 weeks old as I write this.

DH and I met in 1998, but we were young and travelled a lot and didn?t get married until early 2004. We had our family plans all laid out ? start TTC immediately. Naively, we had no thoughts of it taking any longer than a few months. After 12 months of TTC I started to question whether everything was OK, but DH works shifts and DH and anyone I spoke to all assumed that we were missing the right times. But honestly, deep down I knew we weren?t, and that something wasn?t right. After 17 months of TTC I went to my GP who ordered blood tests and a SA for DH. All the tests came back 100% good. So we were referred to a fertility clinic. Instantly they told me I probably had PCOS, and put me on Clomid which was monitored every month. Every month I had a great response ? lots of eggs, good sizes, but never a BFP. DH then got a new job and moved away. I stayed behind for 3 months selling our house etc and sorting everything out for the move. Oddly enough those three months were great for me emotionally? I knew I couldn?t be pg, so I didn?t spend days in anticipation, or crying once I knew it wasn?t going to be this month.
My new GP referred me to a new FS, who checked our whole history, discounted the PCOS theory, and suggested a laparoscopy. Sure enough, the lap showed endometriosis, and adhesions ? and not just a little bit either. It had been there for years and was a bit of a mess. It was now 12 months since we saw the first FS, and we were just so mad that we had spent all that time wasted. We were now told that we should have a good chance of conceiving on our own, and we should try for 6 months. Of course, another 6 months of sadness and frustration went by. Back we went to the FS and he wanted to see how we felt about IVF?well it?s all we had been thinking about for the last 6 months and we were just desperate to have some hope again. So we started all the tests again, and we were so surprised the learn that although DH had always passed his SAs with flying colours, it turns out that they had never done a motility test on the little swimmers, and he had a very low motility result. Chances of a natural conception were very very low. ICSI was the only way to go. So again we were just a bit angry and frustrated at the time that we had spent trying, when our chances were so low.
We jumped into our first IVF cycle in Feb 2007 ? very excited and with everyone telling us that our chances of a good result were excellent. All the medical professionals kept saying you are both young and fit and healthy ? if I only had a penny for everytime someone said that to us. Needless to say our first cycle was a complete bust! I was devastated and I would have been a mess if it had not been for a few very very special BB ladies who kept me sane. My body had not responded well to the drugs and my egg quality was quite poor. I think I found this harder to deal with because we had been given so much confidence by everyone we had spoken too ? I had not really thought about the possibility of only having one little embryo at day two, which we were not really given much chance of it implanting. I was given lots of support and reassurance by BB members, and I soon learned that first cycles are often a bit of trial and error. We were given the option of taking a break from all the stress and financial burden of IVF or jumping straight back into another cycle. We jumped straight back in ? I think I couldn?t bear doing nothing for another couple of months and found the best way for me to deal with the disappointment was to try again. Our FS suggested we manage the cycle a little differently due to my reaction to the drugs the first time. Again, the BB girls kept me sane for the duration of this cycle. The results were much better this time with 5 embryos making it to day two ? although the quality was not so great. We had spent hours talking about one vs. two embryos and had decided to only do one. This was what the FS had recommended too, but when we turned up on day two he told us that he thought two was a better idea considering the quality, and he had the two best ones there for me. So two it was, leaving 3 for the freezer. We were a lot less optimistic this time and we were so amazed and surprised when we got a BFP. I remained very cautious and I did not want anyone to know until the magic 12 week mark, so it was our little secret until then. If it wasn?t for the PG after LTTTC thread and the wonderful people who helped me through my pregnancy, I?m not sure I would have coped with the emotions that follow being pregnant after 4 years of trying. Our little miracle arrived on his due date, and is still a constant amazement to us. I feel lucky and blessed every day.
I am still so grateful for the help and advice I received from some very lovely and amazing Belly belly members, and I am just waiting for the days when I can celebrate with them all when they too have a bundle of joy in their arms.