Hi everyone. I really need a place to vent my anxieties and worries and this is honestly the only place I feel I can do it!! Knowing you guys have (unfortunately)
been through a loss and so you know how it feels.
On Wed I took my son to his pre-kindy class , a half a day session with a teacher to get kids ready for kindy next year. (DS is 3.5). The teacher told me before the session that she wanted to speak to me after the session, so I had to wait 3 hrs to see her. I was pretty sure I knew what it would be about as DS has been having difficulty staying on the mat during singing time and generally not paying attention.(Which I was not too worried about as he is very excitable and loves interacting with the other kiddies). But I was shocked when she told me she was going to refer him on for further assessment as she felt his development was not where it should be.(Mainly in terms of concentration, attention etc)
I asked for some examples of his behaviour and then I started to explain how I felt I was not really "there" for DS for about 6 months after the stillbirth of our son Thomas when DS was nearly 2, I felt his development had been compromised by me because during my extreme grief DS was sort of left to run wild a bit, watched many, many more dvd's and tv than i would have previously allowed, as I just had to basically cry and grieve. So anyway I burst into tears, there I was bawling my eyes out with the other mums trying to look away and pretending not to notice.
Does anyone here feel there other children have been effected by the way we (naturally) deal with loss and grief? I am feeling a bit alone here as no-one I know understands, and kind of brush it off if I try to talk about it (they are probably afraid I'll start crying I think). I feel DS may have been more affected by my subsequent parenting than I thought and I am feeling guilty, although logically I know I couldn't have acted in any other way at the time. I just hope he isn't really delayed in his development as the teacher thinks. He is the youngest in his class.
Sorry for the ramble.
