[CalebsMum4Eva]

Ok, I am apologising in advance....be prepared for a rant.

My DF are expecting our 1st child together in 11 weeks. WE have decided on an intervention free, drug free, waterbirth in the birth centre at our local hospital.
I initially did want a homebirth, but that scared DF a fair bit, being his 1st baby, so I happily agreed to the BC.
Our MW is someone I have worked with in my job, and we both love her to bits.

We have a birth 'idea' for what we BOTH would like, and these include.

My DS (almost 12) wants to be present.
We are going to stay home as long as possible prior to leaving for the BC.
I want the freedom to move around as much as possible for as long as possible.
I want the MW to leave us be as a family as much as possible. She is so happy with this because she likes to leave her 'mums' to do their 'thing' unless they need her.
I want the opportunity to labour AND deliver in the bath if I feel like it.
No one touches the baby until myself, DF & DS have touched him/her first. The first touch we want our baby to feel is from us.
DF & DS are going to tandem cut the cord, but only after it has stopped pulsing.
All going well, I want to leave the BC and go home as soon as possible after the birth.

Now, all this sounds well and good, but why is it, when ppl ask...and I inform them of mine and DF's choices, they all have something to say about it?

My Auntie said this: "You won't cope. Why not use drugs." She was also the author of such statements as: "A little bit of alcohol never hurt anyone, everything in moderation" when I declined a glass of wine over a dinner.

SIL asked if I would be having an epidural. I explained to her that there are no epidurals in the BC. She looked at me, shook her head and said "Your crazy". Her friend who was present at the time, who I don't know, also said "Why would you do that to yourself"

A couple of ppl have commented under their breath about women trying to be heros. I find myself getting frustrated when I try to explain that this is what WE want, and hey, if it doesn't work, we are open to intervention if ABSOLUTELY necessary.

Why is it, that OUR pregnancy, OUR labour, OUR delivery, planned as a FAMILY has made everyone experts on OUR birth?

In regard to having DS at the birth...."Won't he be annoying?" For goodness sake he is 12yrs old, AND he will have my Mum there as HIS support person. If he wishes to leave, he can.
"You don't want him to see all that mess, and hear you screaming do you?" Great, so now I'm traumatising my child by letting him see his baby brother/sister being born?

"What if something goes wrong?" Um, derr, Im in a hospital, with DR's avail IF needed. Where would you like me to give birth.....In an operating theatre, with everyone scrubbed up, JUST IN CASE?

"Won't the baby drown under water?" Now I understand that some ppl are just not aware of what happens after a delivery so I explain to them that it is safe etc etc, and what goes on and how we can prevent water related complications...."Oh, but giving birth in water is so not normal" Says who? Whats 'normal'. Ok so now Im just not normal!

I just get so sick and tired of having to defend my choices as a mother, and all I wanted to do was share with ppl how much of a joyous experience this is going to be for us as a family.
Then, I have to defend my DF when ppl want to know why "HE is letting ME do this" . Um, he had input, I put my ideas forward, he put his and voila, we came to what we have planned.

I have been mulling over this for days now, and am starting to get uptight everytime someone asks me about our plans. I get worried that I am going to get shot down for all our hopes and dreams. I don't want to lie to ppl about our plans, but I don't really want to tell them anymore either.

I am so so sorry this was long and irate and irational. I guess I am just looking for other ppl who are going through this same situation.

I am just so lucky that DF is so supportive.

Thanks again.