Hi Snowie - I am so sorry to hear of your losses. It's so hard, I know. I don't know if you have seen any of my posts, but I have had 5 losses in just over a year, the most recent a missed miscarriage on 21 May (had D&C on 22 May). It is devastating. There is no other way to put it. Like you am older, 40 in February, and I did not even meet DH until I was 34 and at that point we did not know that we wanted kids.
I am going to the recurrent miscarriage clinic here in Melbourne and was lucky enough to get in quickly - 26 June is my appt. I had a d&c for this last loss and they found nothing genetically wrong with our little girl and no ANA, so at least that rules some things out.
Like you I find the weekends very hard. All week I have stuff to do - go to work, etc. and then I wake up on Saturday with an entire unplanned day ahead of me and all I can do is cry. My poor husband.
My anger comes and goes but it has mellowed out for the time being. But the sadness is still there. However I can get through my days and have even been going to yoga and pilates about 3 x week lately and that has really helped my head.
I wish you only the best during this difficult struggle. I hope we both have a change in luck soon! I don't check into this board all that often, but will try to do so a bit more. Maybe we can help each other through this difficult time...
Sending you lots of
