[~Kim~]

Oh Mel,
been reading every page mate.
Thought this might give you a laugh...
Does anyone know how to word an eviction notice to a foetus? She's not a very good tenant - throws violent parties at all hours of the night, has no respect for her landlord (or her neighbour, who she often kicks in the back well before his alarm goes off), draws on the vital resources of others and causes damage to property surrounding her place of residence (namely, ribs and bladder of the landlord). As she's yet to show her face, the landlord hasn't received any payment from the tenant (in the form of adoring smiles and cuddles), and the landlord (you) is SICK OF IT. I know, I know, technically the lease doesn't expire yet, but under the circumstances I think it is only fair that the landlord shouldn't have to put up with this kind of behaviour any longer. Add to that the fact that the tenant has made multiple signs of leaving (by causing the landlord to have irregular mild contractions since 20weeks) and this has made me one impatient landlord. Eloquently expressed by Kellee Green my friend from my last belly buddies thread.