Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

[mako]

Wow Nic 5 weeks already. I hope the sleeping and feeding settles for you soon. In saying that though the sleeping here still isn't great. Oh well its all worth it no matter what these bubbas throw at us lol.

We are ok. Sage is just gorgeous. Its amazing how much joy we have around here.
Sage has 1 tooth and the 2nd is almost through too. He is sitting up by himself and he loves to stand on the lounge and watch the cars,trucks and buses go past lol. He is rolling everywhere and almost crawling. He gets his legs up under his tummy and up on his hands and does the caterpillar slide. Just too cute to watch.

I've been starting to think about having another bub and I suprised at how petrified I am.It doesn't really make sense as such but I'm worrying about how long will it take to fall preg again,how will I cope if we m/c again, how early will the next bub arrive(its inevitable that the next bub will be prem too) how will dh and I cope with another baby,how will Sage cope with a new baby in the house and the list goes on and on
I'd love to have my kids close together but all these things are really worrying me.

Anyone else thinking about another bub?

Its been quite in here. I hope you are all ok.

[onthefly]

Hi all,
It has been very quiet, yes.

Sleep! what I wouldn't give for some sleep..! (well, no, there's one thing I wouldn't do...) Aric was doing quite well for a while there, only one feed a night, but now he's back to 2-4 a night - argh! guess it's just something we have to deal with. It is generally a bit better now that he'll go to sleep in his cot - we're not walking around rocking him for 1hr+ to get him to sleep. Think he's just too distracted to want to do more than snack during the day. I'm sure it'll get better (can you hear my confidence?)

Are you getting help from ABA or someone for feeding, Nic? Or under control now? Anyway, enjoy those smiles!

MAko - I've been thinking about having another. Actually starting to feel quite nostalgic for those first few weeks (so hard, yet so precious). Physically not ready to go through pg and birth again, mind you. IT is daunting though, understandably. I feel like we got so lucky getting pg after just a couple of years - it could take so much longer the next time. That's scary. I know I'd be crushed if we couldnt' have any more though. Mind you, still havn't DTD yet - tried recently but it hurt. Still having some residual issues from episiotomy. damn thing. Worrying about m/c or being a premmie must really add to your concerns, though. And, with infertility it's hard to know just how soon you should start trying, hey?

Sage is developing in leaps and bounds! He'll be running around all over the place in no time. Aric likes 'standing', with a lot of support obviously, so he can have a better look around.

Well, best get back to work. Man, if only I could win lotto... they just keep drawing the wrong numbers!

[Lenny]

Hi all, nice to see some action in this thread again!

I am lucky that Liam is kind of sleeping through the night (9pm -5am), although it has only just started, and i don't hold my breath that it will last forever. He doesn't sleep as much during the day though, so I find it harder to get things done. I do feel a lot less frazzled though.

Nic - does it all seem very different this time around?

We are still bfing but to be honest it is not something i really enjoy. It was super convenient when we went to Sydney though - didn't have to worry about bottles or taking formula etc for 3 days. But I ending up feeding in about 101 public places. With all the spewing and yelling that he does, we are the opposite of discreet!!

I am pretty sure we can't start thinking about #2 until i stop feeding, but i haven't decided when that will be yet. I can't believe Sage has teeth! Cute!

Jo

[onthefly]

Wow Lenny, you're so lucky! It's hard when they don't sleep during the day though - Aric hardly sleeps in daylight hours at all, but once it's bedtime, he's out like a light. Mind you, the screaming and spewing don't sound like fun. Aric's getting quite fussy with his feeds these days. He's fine at night, but only wants to snack during the day mostly and will scream and push away when I try to feed him properly - no wonder he needs lots of feeds during the night. He's also spewing more recently too - though nothing like Liam I think! Does my head in and trying to feed while working is not too much fun either. Sometimes I love bf, and sometimes it's just a chore... sigh.

Yar, I just realised last night that you have to stop bf if you do IVF, don't you? Now I feel a little torn between doing the best by my boy and wanting to get started on IVF once he's about a year or so old. Spose I should just wait and see how we go rather than worrying about it now though.

Happy birthday for your little guy Kimnastics. Hope he has a fun day!

Good question Lenny - is it different the second time round? Easier....?

[nic]

Yep Jo, it seems hugely different this time round. DD slept from 10pm - 4am from the day we got home from hospital. When she woke, you could change her bum before feeding her and put her back to sleep with no problems.
DS, needs a feed before a bum change, otherwise he screams and wriggles that much we can't change him. At the most he will sleep for 2 hours of a night, we have had about 4 nights since he was born that went to 3 hours and one of them went to almost 4 hours! He seems to be very windy as well.
We got a amby hammock for him, and put him in it of a day time, but he doesn't sleep any better in it than his bassinette, so I've been wary of putting him it of a night time. He seems to catnap. Yesterday he had two sleeps during the day, one for 20 minutes and one for 40 minutes. Last night he went to bed at 9pm, only to wake about 5 minutes later. Couldn't settle him, so laid on the lounge with him on my chest until 3am, fed him, put him to bed around 4am, and he actually slept until 6am. DH got home from work around 7ish this morning and looked after him for a few hours so I could have a shower and something to eat. If you're not holding him he is screaming.
I feel so bad at the moment. I mean, we went through all that IVF, for me to wish he would just be quiet and give me some sleep or at least have a cup of tea. Mind you he is kind of sleeping atm in his cot.
Anyway, enough of a whinge from me, we see the paed. for his check up in 2 weeks, so will see what he has to say.

Kim, happy birthday to your little man for the big 1 tomorrow.

Nic

[mako]

Kim Happy Birthday to Hayden for tomorrow. I hope you all have a lovely day. Are you doing anything special?

DH and I are trying to organise Sage's 1st birthday combined with a Naming Day for him too. Its just soooo hard to get a Celebrant that time of year as they all seem to be busy with weddings etc.

BBL as I'm trying to get the little man to have a sleep

[mako]

Kim How did Hayden enjoy his birthday? I bet he had a great time

[onthefly]

Hope you all had a good day Kim.

Hugs Nic - it sounds like you're doing it tough now. I remember when DS would only sleep on my chest... so much better now though. Hope the doctor visit can shed some light on any problems he may be having. Sounds like he's got an upset tummy (ha! listen to the expert here, not). Hope you guys can get some better sleep soon,

[Lenny]

Oh Nic, you poor thing. It's hard when DH works odd hours too. Liam wasn't much fun from about 3 weeks until about 9 weeks. And you feel bad for wanting him sooo badly, then just wishing he'd be quiet/sleep etc. He was so windy/colicky and never slept much more than cat-naps and then about 3/4 hours at night. He got over it though, and things just get better and better! Liam still seems to sleep until about 5/5.30am so I'm still fairly well rested. He's still little in size though, so i get the dumb comments about breast feeding and him not getting enough...these people clearly don't have to change his nappies!!! Oh and the MCHN is the worst! You'd think she'd be all for bf - but she loves formula!

I am desperately waiting for summer - i feel a bit housebound at the moment. I'd love to spend a day in the garden too - my vege patch looks a bit sad.

I have my mother's group here today, so better get the vacuum cleaner out. I still have to buy the bikkies though - not yet organised enough to bake!

Is Ltl Panda still out there?? And Arielle??

Jo

[mako]

Lenny Tell you MCHN and the others to get stuffed hun. You are doing an amazing job BF Liam. I still get alot of comments even now 9 months on and as much as they do get me down at times I just have to look at my happy and content little boy and I know I'm doing the best thing for him

Do you have anyone who could take Liam for you for a couple of hours while you have some "you" time? If not how about putting him in his pram while outside doing some gardening? I do understand how hard it is at times. I haven't had any "me" time since Sage was born. I do leave him with my MIL while I go to work but honnestly thats not "me" time as I'm working iykwim?

I've been wondering about Ltl Panda, Arielle,DJTTC(Jo),Sazz and Kimbe too. I hope they are all ok.

We are ok here. In saying that though,we are going through a tough stage. Sage is very clingy as in he only wants me all the time even when he's asleep he has to be on my lap,in my arms etc. As much as I know its just a stage he's going through it can be very frustrating too as he just screams whenever DH has him or anyone else for that fact.
I'm looking forward to him being happy to be with someone other than me sometime in the future. Any tips on getting this to happen would be appreciated.

[Willow]

Nic, I just wanted to send you a huge - you sound just like me after DS was born. I wanted him so badly but wasn't prepared for it to be so hard the second time around. He wasn't a great sleeper to begin with, he was good at night doing 3-4 hour blocks but day times he was a very restless sleeper and it nearly did my head in. Looking back though, I wish i'd just gone with the flow more than I did and waited for it to get better (and it did!) - I'm not a 'go with the flow' kinda girl though to be honest! I got so stressed about it all that I ended up so anxious I started having panic attacks.

After talking to a psychologist (yeah, I was that much of a mess ) I realised that the reason I was feeling so bad was because I'd wanted him so badly, went through so much crap to have him that I thought bringing him home would be smooth sailing, all the hard times behind us....but someone forgot to give DS that memo! He was and is just a baby, brand new to the world and he just needed his mummy!

I thought that because I'd done this before, that it'd be a piece of cake! I'd know how to handle sleeping issues (DD wasn't so great to start with either but with a bit of work ended up being a fantastic sleeper). What I didn't take into account was that DS hadn't done this before!

I PROMISE you, no matter how hard you're finding it now, and probably thinking he will never sleep and you'll never get your life back...it DOES get better!! DS has improved out of sight. We've had the usual hurdles of teething and illness but on the whole, he sleeps great during the day now. He still doesn't sleep through the night, but he does sleep well at night - quick feed and straight back to sleep. I'm just used to it now and have accepted that he's not his sister, he's his own little person and he'll sleep through when he's ready.

It's a tough gig this motherhood...and those early weeks are a killer. Hang in there babe, you're not alone, I felt exactly the same as you are now and am here to support you!

Ok...sorry, that was a bit of a ramble but Nic's post just reminded me so much of our early days. Hope all are well. We're doing good, DS sick with another cold at the moment but still pretty good.

PS - have done a total 360 on having another baby. Just not ready AT ALL to go back to that newborn stage now that things are getting so much easier with DS and not sure I want to do it again at all....so that is on the backburner for now....I guess I'll need to start thinking about it again after DS turns one, wouldn't want a smaller age gap than that in any event.

[onthefly]

Hi Willow - my DS didn't get that memo either . Things are starting to get better though.

Yeah Lenny, don't listen to her! My MCHN is quite good, though Aric has been a slow weight gainer, but she's a LC so would expect her to avoid the formula answer. I've personally fretted about it quite a lot, but by the amount of output there's just gotta be a fair bit going in. I actually checked out the WHO software for bf babies, but that was only worse cause it gives weight for height and he's like in the 10th percentile... I look at him and he seems happy and healthy (if constantly tired...)

Know what you mean Mako - the only time I don't have him is when i'm sleeping or working... and even then I still have to feed him.

[Lenny]

Wow Willow - you said all that so well. Truly struck a chord with me.

Mako - I have no tips for you with Sage - i'm just a bit worried that Liam will go through the clingy thing too. We don't have family around and I worry that he is going to be wary of other people.
I found out yesterday that of the 6 mums in my mother's group I am the only one still exclusively bf. I have to wonder how much that has to do with our MCHN and her attitudes to bf. Good thing i am stubborn!

Me time?? Hmm, my DH thinks that minding Liam (while he sleeps) and me going to get groceries is Me time. I wouldn't mind getting a haircut one day

[mako]

Lenny I think your DH and my DH went to the same "daddy school"lol. My DH also thinks I have "me" time when I go to work or get the groceries I haven't had my hair cut since DECEMBER!!!! I'm desperate to have my hair done but who know's when its going to happen. Thank goodness for do it yourself colours

I have just been on ebay and bought a sling.WOOHOO.I hope it makes carrying Sage around a bit easier. I've been thinking about getting one for ages and I've finally done it

[onthefly]

Oh, that's no good guys! At least my DH takes him in the mornings on weekends so I can have a little sleep in. I really need a haircut too - my hair's pretty bad ... but DECEMBER? Poor Mako!!
Hope the sling works out for you

[nic]

Hey girls typing one handed ATM, so will try my best for hello's

Willow, you are so right about us expecting the hard stuff to be over now the IVF is out of the way and DS is here. DH and I were even congratulating ourselves the other night for making it through to this point. Neither of us had even thought about the hard stuff still continuing on afterwards.

Things have been good the last week, but I wonder if it is because we were at mum and dads for a few days, then DH was home from work sick with a cold (as was DD,DS, and I)
His feeding is improving, in that he is feeding for longer than 5 minutes at a time. Thought it might help with the sleep, but it hasn't lol! We got a 4.5 hour night sleep out of him the other night, in one hit, and OMG it was pure bliss! I even told DH that I felt like I had overslept.

Had my 6 week checkup last week, all is well. OB asked how many snowbubs we have left and what we are going to do with them? Definately something we have to think about, if we decide to use them, then we have to get them moved to a different clinic that is closer to us, which has caused DH and I to talk about #3....OMG!!! I only had my c/s 6 weeks ago, maybe I need a little more time to forget about the pain lol.

Mako, hope the clingy stage gets better soon, and YAY for your new sling. We got a hug a bub, and DH loves it because he can do the dishes while holding Luke. I hear you on the hair cut as well. I last had mine done just before we went away for our cycle in October. Will definately have to do it before summer rocks around.

Lenny, that is amazing that you are the only one out of your group that is still exclusively breastfeeding!

Big hello to anyone that I missed, have to dash off and change little mans bum

Nic

[mako]

Hi Just a quick one today.

I just want to wish FELIX a very very happy 1st birthday I hope you have a wonderful day sweety boy.

Also Congrats to Monnie for doing such an amazing job in the 1st year of Felix's life. Well done chickie

[monnie]

Oh Mako!

That's so lovely! Thank you so much chickie!

Yep...very exciting...can't believe he's 1 today!

We're off to Justine Clarke to celebrate...and then have a party organised for Saturday!

Feels so surreal to be organising my little boy's birthday...never thought this would actually happen...but here he is!!!

Hope everyone is doing well...I'll be back to reply in more detail...but need to go and get him from his cot!

Take care...and thanks again Mako! You're a sweetie!