Vbac that did go wrong!

**sunshine_sieben** · August 8th, 2008, 06:00 PM

NaeNae, I wish you all the best with whichever decision you make. It is great to hear that more and more women are making an informed decision.
And I am so sad to hear about the loss of your little Nikkita. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Just a quick note: the mods didn't disallow Nikki's story. If anything they are very supportive of her sharing her story. It is other poster's that made unsupportive comments that were called into line.

Saša

**nikkialma** · August 8th, 2008, 08:20 PM

Hi Nae, I will just keep this brief so that I can find out how to PM you not quite sure so I have added you as a contact and friend. Hope this is OK, you must have been through so much I would love to keep in contact. let me know and thanks for your support.
Contact me!!
Nikki

paradise lost · August 9th, 2008, 03:41 AM

Having missed all of the recent posts (been AWOL a few days) i just read all this now (minus the deleted posts).

Nikki i just wanted to highlight once again how important it is that you posted your story and how grateful i am for your courage.

VBAC or now is a decision more and more women will face, with the c-section rate as high as it is. For so many women i know the major issue in deciding what to do is one of trust. So often a first birth went drastically wrong, and often, sadly, this was due to intervention a woman did not have enough information on to refuse. Thus they come towards their second birth with no faith, no faith in their bodies, no faith in their babies, no faith in their Obs.

When a woman finds a site like Bellybelly she is looking for the truth. You have given your truth with such sanity, such openness. Your experiences speak to us of the very real risks if a VBAC results in rupture (just as many other threads on BB talk of the very real risks of c sections). For Bellybelly to remain an effective tool for women searching for answers the truth must be available to them. We need balance in all aspects of our decision-making process.

You have told us the truth. In a place like this women can trust WOMEN to help them choose their path. The empowerment that brings, WHATEVER mode of birth is chosen for the next baby, is worth so much. For every woman who gets all the evidence, and makes a TRULY empowered choice, you are talking about another well-bonded mother-and-baby pair, another PND-free mummy, another happy family entering a new phase of parenting with joy and strength instead of fear and regret.

The loss of your daughter was catastrophic, horrendous, but what you have contributed to the Truth here, in telling her story, is priceless.

Thankyou.

**Schmickers** · August 9th, 2008, 07:44 AM

NaeNae, it wasn't the opening poster's story that we were forced to moderate - the entire Mod team respects Nikkialma for sharing her very sad story, and she has our full support in doing so.

Unfortunately, a number of posters began to engage in a CS versus VBAC debate that became quite heated, and as a result, we were forced to moderate that portion of this thread. However, at no time have we edited or altered Nikkialma's posts or asked her to do the same.

Nikkialma's story is an important one, and it deserves to be heard. However, out of respect for her story, this thread should remain on topic. So let me add my support to Dachlostar. Any more debate regarding CS versus VBAC will be separated out into a new thread so that the discussion can continue separate from posts of support for Nikkialma.

**NaeNae** · August 9th, 2008, 08:18 AM

He has given me some websites to do some research into successful VBAC's and I think that thats wonderful however I feel that perhaps your story should also go onto these websites as it emphasizes that things CAN and DO go wrong.
..................... I am blabbing here, but if you are interested (please do not feel pressured) PM me and I will give you the website.

If the moderators choose not to allow your story that is there decision but people need to be aware.

Ok I feel to clarify a few things before anymore responses come in more or less stating that BB didn't /wouldn't post Nikki's story. What I wrote is above in red.
I was actually referring to different websites that MY OB had given to me to do research and NOT BB. I simply didn't feel it was appropriate to name these websites in here out of respect for the BB forum.

My deepest appologies to anyone who I caused confusion too.

Nae x x x

**Schmickers** · August 9th, 2008, 09:05 AM

That's fine, NaeNae. Thank you for clarifying.

**stickybaby** · September 22nd, 2008, 04:44 PM

I just wanted to thank you too! It is vital to hear about the small percentage of woman that it has happened to.

to you!
I have been warned that this time it would have to be a c/sec again after a trial of scar with the 2nd bub, but I have been seriously considering pushing for the VBA2C. I think I will just push for a 4th c/sec instead!

**nikkialma** · September 22nd, 2008, 07:47 PM

Hi, thanks for your reply I hope my story has helped you with what you decide to do. From your name thing (don't know what they call it) it looks like you have had a rough time and I dearly hope things go well. It is so hard to make these choices as for some things go perfectly well, I know a lady who after 2 c/sections had her 3rd at home and really very quickly, no problems at all. Then you take me I have had nothing but problems when it comes to delivery. If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask.
Even now after 3 1/2 years I miss my daughter so much, it is very hard sometimes wishing I had listened to my instinct and not the hospital!!!
Anyway we do have to wonderful boys whom I love so so much.
Thanks Nikki

Georgiavbac · October 10th, 2008, 11:29 PM

Thanks so much for sharing your story nicki. Im 35 weeks and considering a vbac and most sites and commentary only tell you the positive outcomes, not many women are brave enough to talk about the disasters associated with vbac. So I sincerely thank you for doing so.

**littlescottishboy** · December 6th, 2008, 09:33 PM

To dear Nikki,

I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your honest words. I remember reading your story in Mother and Baby a few years ago (i still have it as i kept all my mags from my previous pregnancy to re-read again in this pregnancy). I have never been able to forget what happened to you and although the risk of it happening is small, it just goes to show that there are faces and names and real women and babies who this happens to. I know there are risks with repeat c/s as well. I just wanted to thank you for putting across your side of things to help people be a little more informed about what can happen. I wish so much that you hadn't had to go through what you did. I also wish the very best to everyone who has decided that a VBAC is right for them. Each to their own - thank you for helping us all be a little more informed.

(I had a c/s with DS and have decided to have another c/s in 2 weeks with my next child - totally not bagging out anyone else's decision, just feel that this is right for me).

Thanks again Nikki and all the best to everyone going for their births, whatever form they may take, VBAC or c/s.

**kristi14** · December 6th, 2008, 11:28 PM

So sorry for your loss

Thankyou for sharing your story. Its very important i think.

**nikkialma** · December 7th, 2008, 04:44 AM

Hi, thankyou for your reply I am so glad that our story does help to let people know that just sometimes things are not so simple, if only they were!!! I guess in some ways it helps that by letting others know at least our beautiful Lilli's life has not been a complete loss. I still find it very hard to deal with at times and hate so much that it happened but we do have two wonderful boys who keep me very busy. As I say to other ladies through the SANDS meeting that I run in Gympie, you learn to live with it, but never forget!!
Good luck with everything and enjoy your new baby.
Nikki

Nattys · December 7th, 2008, 05:00 AM

Hi Nikki

They say knowledge is power and you've provided me with bucketloads in this thread! Thank you sooooooo much for the courageous and honest way you've shared your story.

Like many women in this discussion I have been considering a VBAC for my next birth and thought I was pretty well informed. I'm still feeling this is a good option for me but I feel more confident now of what I do and don't want to happen if I try for a VBAC (no to epidural, yes to a canula for one!) and am armed with a huge list of questions to take to my ob.

Your story is so very important, thank you for being able to share it. I'm just so sorry your valuable knowledge came at such a high price for you, but if your aim in posting this was to honour your daughter in stimulating thought and discussion then you've done that beautifully.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Nat

**Leigh26** · February 11th, 2009, 04:42 PM

Hi Nikki,

Firstly I wanted to say sorry for the loss of your little girl ,it is very, very sad

I did try to PM you but it didnt go through for some reason.

I was wondering if you could give me some advise or info on uterine ruptures?

I had DD1 3 and a half years ago, I ended up having an emergency c/s with her and they had to give me a classical cut (basically upside down T shape). I was told after having this cut that I would only be able to have c/s from then on as a vbac may cause my uterus to rupture. Anyway I had DD2 3 months ago. I was booked to have my c/s at 38wks but like DD1 I went into labour at 37wks. The hospital was short staffed and let me labour for 6hrs before taking me to theatre. During my c/s the dr told me my uterus had ruptured in a + shape. He asked if we were intending on having anymore children, I said we wanted one more (we basically want to try for a boy now that we have 2 girls, but would still be very happy with another girl). Anyway he then changed his mind and said its probably best to have no more kids as they're not sure if my body would be able to sustain a pregnancy. I am pretty devastated by the fact of not being able to have anymore kids, especially coz the rupture could've been prevented if I was taken to theatre straight away.

I was wondering after your uterus ruptured if you were told you were unable to have more kids etc. I am going to go for a 2nd opinion just to make sure coz I am willing to wait 5 yrs if needed for my body to heal and be strong enough to sustain another pregnancy. Obviously if they tell me definitely no more kids then I wont but I just want to make absolutely sure first.

Thanks

**sunshine_sieben** · February 11th, 2009, 05:24 PM

Leigh, I'm so sorry to hear your story. As far as I know, it depends very much on the rupture. Seeing that yours has ruptured in a length and crossways, they might just think that the scar might be too big and too fragile. Whether you wait 2 or 5 years doesn't make much difference. Most of the healing occurs in the first 6 months (that's why the common 2 year rule for VBaC doesn't make much sense).
I would definitely go for a second and third opinion. You might be surprised at how well your body can heal.

Lots of hugs,
and congrats on the birth of your baby girl!
Saša

**BlooBerry** · February 21st, 2009, 01:33 AM

Hello I am a new member here and I just had to register to thank you for sharing your story. I had an emergency c-section with my daughter and have been on the fence on what to do with my second pregnancy. I still get pain through my c-section when I sneeze from time to time so I always worry. I have a childhood friend who had a uterine rupture and her daughter suffered brain damage and is disabled. It is such a difficult decision to make and it is unfair for us to have to sit and try to weigh the risk factors and have to choose one or the other. Thank you again for sharing your story.

**Nai** · February 21st, 2009, 05:47 PM

Hi Nikki

I just want to say that thanks to your story I have my baby girl with me safe and sound after a dramatic VBAC attempt. My birth story is here https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ml#post1670561 Basically my uterus ruptured on the operating table, however if I hadn't read your story it might not have crossed my mind that this could happen and I wouldn't have made it in time.