Lauralyn...my angel

[susanW]

We lost 'lorrie' (lauralyn) on 17/9/08 she was 40weeks +6 days, much loved and wanted little girl, she was born still...no reason, no explaination, perfectly heathly bub right up untill the day before she was going to be induced and her little heart just stopped. I just wanted to say to all the mums out there when you read this please hug your children, give them a kiss and just for a seccond look at them and realise how special they are and how truely blessed you are to have them, I have prayed hard that no-one else every has to experience this kind of loss again. My heart goes out to all those who have experienced the loss of a child.

[Isadora]

Susan I have no words, I am so sorry for your loss of Lauralyn. Just to let you know, you are not alone. There are plenty of mothers here on BB that have sadly experienced a loss like yours, if you hang around here you will find them to be a great support.

[Berry1]

Hi Susan,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, my heart breaks for you. I lost a little girl Jasmine on the 29/10/08 at 19 wks and that has been so painful, your situation is just so cruel. There are other women on BB who understand what you are going through, know you have support here.

Hugs
Berry

[diannescruffy]

So very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. Please know that she will always remain close to your heart. You are so right, no one should ever have to lose a child, it's just not right, my heart goes out to you.

Regards,
Dianne

[Kazmar]

Im so sorry to read of your angels passing

What a beautiful name for who im sure is a beautiful angel for you and your family.

[~clover~]

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine your pain.
We are all here for you if you need it. There are others who have unfortunately also experienced what you have.
Thinking of you.

[Peach]

Susan, Your loss is just devistating and my heart goes out to you and your family. Words just cannot even begin to ease your pain . Your post has bought tears to my eyes , and I actually got up and kissed my children. Lauralyn is blessed to have a mother so caring and loving to remember her.

[feeb]

I am so sorry to read your post it made me cry and cuddle my baby.

I wish i could fix your pain, i cant even imagine how much you must hurt be strong and remember she is watching you from above.

xoxo

[susanW]

Thank you, for your kind words, as lauralyn was our first and only child, we now have a deep chasm of emptness to fill. Some days are good and some are bad, as I am a nurse and know alot of medical things, I some times find it especially hard at times to come to terms with our loss. I was so carefull...even when I had kidney stones when pregnant I would not even take panadol, I know it is irrational but I didnt want anything that wasnt natural incase it caused any harm. I was so carefull....We wanted her so much...I don't know how we knew but we some how knew she was a girl and named her from 6wks. I first felt her kick at 16 wks, I know she liked watermellon, ice-cream, silverbeet and strawberries she would wriggle and stretch, she didnt like garlic and would kick and thump, she liked "my life" from westlife but didnt like the loud noises of the plaster drill at work...... We took photos every few weeks so she could see how big I got, her daddy wrote a note when she was due 11/9/08 asking where are you?. And in another photo stuck a baby on-board sign on my tummy... for weeks after she was gone I would wake at nght around the time she would act up kicking and swore for a seccond I could still feel her and that it was all a dream... I wish it was so badly, it still hurts so much and my soul is screaming for her.

[Kazmar]

Susan your words are amazing. Making me cry. I dont know how women/men get through this and I truly wish you never had to. Im praying for you

[Peach]

I am crying for your loss susan ... I have no idea how someone gets through this .. but some people here at BB have gone through what you are going through now and will offer you as much support as your want.

my soul is screaming for her.

This just tears my heart out... your loss is immessurable.

[Isadora]

I'm so sorry hun, its not fair.

[jennyc]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. We can plan our lives as thoroughly as we can, but it sometimes doesn't workout. Words cannot express your pain, and nobody can take this away from you, however sharing your grief can help you to try and cope with your loss. I delivered a baby boy 5 weeks ago (15weeks), and it is still painful.

I pray for your pain to ease.

[Tannis]

I'm so sorry for your loss Susan! Your post made me cry too! I hope you have a great support network to help you through this horrible time, you sound like you have a wonderful partner! You will definitely find support here on BB!

[susanW]

Thankyou every one, I know it takes time but I feel very crushed, my sprit and light have been shattered and I am struggling to find that light agian, Jenny...what can I say I am so sorry, though no words can bring comfort I just wish and pray that talking to other can start us on the road to healing, and finding our light. I have prayed that no-one ever has to endure this and that god can give us strength, courage and to let us know the joys of parenthood rather than just the pain. To know the small joys of hearing our children cry for the first time, to feel their comforting wamth on our skin, to smell their hair, to feel their tiny fingers wrap around our finger, to let them feel the sunlight on their faces, to allow our parents to see and hold a much wanted granchild and to see the look on their fathers face when he holds them in his arms for the first time, these are the things many take for granted. These are the small things very sadly missed. Lorrie.... was very much wanted for many reasons... my father passed away in April of this year suddenly and the day before he passed away, he was so excited to see the ultrasound pictures of her, we told him her name (for the first time as we had kept it a secret) The thought of her got many of us through the greiving for him and my mother held on so tighly to the memory of him snuggling beside her wriggling excitedly saying that he was excited because it had been so long since there was a little one in the house....so lorrie was wanted by many more than just us and is very sadly missed.

[NaeNae]

I am so sorry for both your losses - your beautiful daughter and your father.

I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but my heart goes out to you. I am sure Lauralyn is snuggling and wiggling in your fathers arms as they look down on you from Heaven.

All my love hun

Nae x

[Jaycee]

I am so sorry, my heart is breaking for you, I can't begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling.
It's just not natural to outlive your child, no mother should have to go through it.
Please take care of yourself and we are all here to support you in what ever way we can.
xxx

[MAMAGLO]

susanw ,so sorry about your loss it brings back memories of the loss of my own first child also in sept this year and also the tears started again after i read your post. The pain is so incredible and excruciating that you think it will surely not get better , you are a strong ,brave and courageous woman dear wonderful mum to precious lauralyn so keep hanging in there and take it one day at at time another baby would come not as a replacement for our lost precious one but as healing for our souls.Take care of yourself love God is with you