Parenting After LT TTC ~ January - April 2008

[mako]

Kimnastics I had to laugh when you mentioned the tufts of dog hair.We also have that problem with our black lab.Luckily Sage isn't crawling yet but it is on most things no matter how much I clean. We are thinking about ripping up the carpet and polishing the boards as they are easier to keep clean.

Monnie What a clever little boy Felix is I bet there will be no stopping him now.So pleased the 2nd tooth was a little kinder for you all too.

Sage's tooth still hasn't popped through yet.It is just soooooo close.I just wish it would break the gum. Some people have suggested that I give him a cold teaspoon to chew on as this apparently helps.I haven't done this as yet but will see what happens over the next week or so.He is back to his normal happy self most of the time now too which is good.

Hope you and bubs are all ok.

[monnie]

Hey Mako

Glad to hear that Sage is back to his happy self...teething is horrible, hey? But hopefully you are past the worst of it...

We've got a dog with black hair too...the number of times Felix has been on his tummy and looked up with black dog hair around his mouth!!!

Not a good look!

[sazzafrazz]

LOL with the dog hair ... we have two dogs, one lab/kelpie one kelpie/****zu and they shed like mad. It is weird how it gets up on top of cupboards and everywhere. Im pretty sure the dogs cant get up there hehe. When we bought this place it had cream carpet throughout and we only have it in the bedrooms now: we polished the boards. Much easier but it is a lot noisier too and draughty in winter also. Cant have it all!

On the weekend I had a "very protective parent" moment. All the inlaws invited themselves over AGAIN and the 8yr old nephew wanted a hold of Celeste. I set him up on the lounge next to his aunt (she is handicapped and not that responsible) His mum paid no attention after that at all and he started to let her slide off his lap when he had had enough. I couldnt get to her quickly cause bloody MIL was blocking the way. I nearly footy bumped her out of the way but she got to Celeste first and caught her just as she almost went off the lounge. She passed her to me but wouldnt let go. I just snapped at her "Ive GOT her!!!" which was a bit mean but I was pretty upset just then. I didnt let anyone else hold her after that. (To top it off, the mother of the kid also spilt coffee all over the new floor rug and the other kid nearly broke my globe of the world on the coffee table.) I guess it is a normal protective parent thing to do but I wondered if I was a bit more possessive of her cause of the LTTTC thing? Normally I am very relaxed about Celeste which people have commented on but I turned into a stressed mum just then!

Child nurse at our new mums group warns against trying to be supermum and not giving ourselves time for us. She said those who try to do it will usually get to around 4 or 5 months and have a total burn out which often leads to PND. Definately something to avoid. So far I havent been away from Celeste at all. Once DH stayed outside the shops with her while I dashed in but that is all. I know I should trust him with her more but I know what she needs much better than he does (cause Ive spent all day everyday with her) and I see him trying things I know she doesnt need before he works out what it is she does want. It seems unfair on her if I dont let him know what she needs, but unfair on him if I dont let him learn for himself so that Im not telling what to do all the time. Its a tricky one and I havent got the hang of it yet.

Hope the teething sorts itself out soon- sounds awful for the poor little men!

Hello to all!!!

[secochook]

Sazz - I know what you are saying regarding knowing what Celeste wants more than DH but I would encourage that you let him give it a go and learn too. Hopefully he will take advice and learn. It would be better for your sanity if he can shoulder some of the tasks. My DW is happy to do this and she has been able to get out a few times. She has the phone in case a feed is in order though.

Well Luisa has been going great guns at this growing caper. She has put on 2kgs since birth going from the 10th percentile to the 50th. She is also in the 90th percentile for her height, so she will be a tall girl if she keeps it up.

We went to the Western Force game on Sunday. It all went well except that the wife of a work friend who came to the game decided to have a freak out when DW went to change Luisa and didn't come back straight away. She was trying to get me to go look for them. Now I am not a 21 yo newlywed and we both have mobile phones if there was a problem. After 12 years of marriage I think we know each other well. Of course there was no problem, DW was just up behind our seats standing and watching the game and giving Luisa time to get over her reflux issues. But it made me unsettled. I appreciate that we are new to the parenting but we do have age and commonsense on our side.

Well my rant for the day!

[monnie]

Hey Sazz

Sorry to hear about Celeste's potential fall...it's scary isn't it? We've had a situation like that too. DH's 9 year old niece was holding Felix and panicked when she thought he had wet through his nappy...and literally threw him to the ground. DH and I were in such shock. Thankfully we were down the beach and he landed on sand but it was a huge thud...and very scary! It's so hard trying to get the balance right of wanting people to be involved (e.g. our niece) but knowing when to draw the line.

I think your child health nurse is so right though. I know I really started to cocoon myself in recent months...wanting to keep Felix at home just in case I upset his routine. But what ended up happening is that I became more and more insular...and a little resentful too. My only outlet was bellybelly...and although it's great, it's cyber-life. Thankfully, my Mum had a really good chat to me and encouraged me to get out more.

I feel so much better as a result. I've started to do a few little things just for myself and actually feel like a much more balanced Mum now.

I too would encourage you to give DH a go. You're right, he doesn't know Celeste like you do...so giving him some practice would be fantastic. No doubt, it would help with his confidence too. And it would be great for you...just plan a little trip out...but I'd encourage you do something for yourself.

What about if he took her for a walk so you can have a little sleep in?

It's hard...but I think in the long run, it's worth it.

Take care chickie!

[Kimnastics]

Sazz - Sorry about Celeste's near fall. It is really hard to trust others with your baby especially after something like this happens. I agree with the others about letting DH help out and look after Celeste for you sometimes. Although it is hard to see them struggling to get the bub to sleep or not knowing that is a hungry cry, I learnt these things through time with my baby, and DH worked it out eventually too when he spent enough time with DS. Hopefully your DH will take some guidance from you and learn quicker through your wisdom and experience. I find it easier just to do things with Hayden myself rather than teach DH to do it, but I work on Saturday mornings now so DH has to look after DS on his own.

Monnie - How horrible having DH's neice just drop Felix. I already have trust issues letting other ppl hold Hayden and I'm sure I would have absolutely exploded at the poor girl. Glad you are getting out and about more now.

Jason - Glad Luisa is growing so well. Has your DW thought of getting a breast pump and expressing some milk so you can look after Luisa for longer periods? I would've got quite annoyed with ppl telling DH to go check on me. I am perfectly capable of feeding my baby by myself as I'm sure your DW is. It amazes me what is suddenly acceptable behaviour when a baby is involved. If your wife had gone to buy food or go to the toilet, I'm sure nothing would have been said if she took a while. I think I'm ranting now too.

Mako/Monnie - Isn't it funny that we all have furkids? We got ours before TTC, but thought many times about getting more when the human bubs weren't happening. Glad we didn't - I love my dogs but 2 dogs and a bub all vying for my attention is quite enough for me to deal with.

[sazzafrazz]

Wow Jason, Louisa certainly is growing!! Thats fantastic news. Celeste is still inthe bottom 10% for weight but 25% for length. Im happy with that though cause she did drop to the 5%for weight for a bit there. She is catching up now though. I think she will be a slight girl till mid high school like I was. I was skinny as a kid too.

How cute is that new nappy ad with the baby making the big fart noise? Cracks me up! hehe

Thanks Monnie for your words. Can imagine how you felt when the niece dropped Felix!!!! I would have cried I reckon.
It is hard not to take things personally when people offer advice but if offered in the right way it helps.

People, please dont think I dont let DH do anything for Celeste. In the evenings he spends a lot of time settling her, especially if she has had a really unsettled day (like yesterday) and often I will go to bed after the last feed and he sorts her out. Or in the mornings I give him to her in bed while I shower and sort the dogs out. It is just that when I can hear her screaming with a stuck burp and he is thinking she needs her nappy changed I just want to go tell him to pick her up as I know it will fix things right away, instead of her screaming for 5mins while he struggles with the nappy. I guess it took such effort to get BF sorted out and she fed so often in the early days that there was very little time I could be away conveniently and I have just gotten used to it.

Have to give myself a pat on the back: yesterday we went to a meeting and Celeste was not settled so I let our friend's almost 12yo daughter take her for a little walk in the pram. DH gave me "the look" which meant "are you sure?" and another bloke on the other side of the room did too which I thought was a bit rude. As soon as they left the room I was worried and wanted to rush out and bring her back but I didnt. They were gone for 10mins or so and of course everything was ok. Celeste was happy as larry when they came back and I felt soooo relieved. It really was a big step for me to let her out of my control for that time. Not wanting to do it again too soon though. Need a haircut soon, will try making it when DH can have Celeste. Not sure if she would take a bottle if Im not there to feed her. Have offered her some water in this heat and not sure if it is the bottle or the water she is refusing? Must find out how much EBM to have on hand if needed at some stage.... ok rambling now hehe.

Yeah, fur babies are great. We got our first dog the year we got married and still have her now. I was worried how she would cope with a baby after having her for 12years but she has been really good.

Mums group has been really good for me. It is hard to know if anyone else has had TTC issues there. It kind of makes me feel different to the rest of the group same as with my baby buddies group too. There is one mum there who cant BF and I s'pose she feels different to the group too: we all have our own issues I guess.

Well that's it for me at present... hello all!

[sushee]

Sazz,

I can so relate to wanting total control over bub - I was definitely the same. Yes DH could look after him, but I wouldn't allow anyone else to, even for a little while, esp when he was young. I got better as he got older, and would go to dinner with MIL while DH watched him, but I worried about him and felt like I was being 'forced' away from him.

The biggest challenge for me was when he went to daycare at 18 months - just one day a week. I have a thread about it somewhere. I was absolutely devastated about not having him with me anymore. But it's been 6 months now, and he's now in 4 days a week while I work, and it's been good for me and for him. I was probably way too overprotective of him, and resented the time he spent away from me, and while I look back on that as an intense bonding time for us, he's now growing older and learning to be more independant.

It'll come for you too, and you will adapt. But for now, I reckon it's okay to want to be there for her every minute of everyday! Well of course I'd think it's okay, I did it too! Lol!

[Willow]

Sushee, I remember when Charlie started day care - I can't believe that was 6 months ago!!!

[sushee]

I know, Willow. I can't believe it either. You should see him now, as soon as he gets dropped off he's off and playing. Even gives me a kiss and waves goodbye. He really has adapted well to it. I, on the other hand, still miss him soooo much.

[Willow]

Awww Sushee, it's awesome that he enjoys it though, makes it so much easier on mum.

My DD started preschool this year and I've had her standing at the gate at pick up time telling me to get back in the car and go home

[mako]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAZZ.I hope you had a great day today.

Not too much going on here atm. Sage is still having trouble with his tooth.
He has just discovered that he can giggle out loud now which is hilarious and oh so cute. He is rolling all over the place too.

I hope you and bubs are all ok. Its been a bit quiet in here for a while. I know how busy I am so I imagine you are all just as busy too.

[monnie]

Ohhh...Sazz...happy birthday!

Hope you had a fantastic day!

Mako...sorry to hear that Sage's tooth is still causing problems. Felix has got 2 teeth now...the 2nd was nowhere near as bad as the 1st...hope that's the same for Sage.

To everyone else...hope things are going well!

I've got the next week off...YAYAYAY!!! Will be so nice not to have to balance work and mummyhood for a little while. I still find it a real challenge. Both Felix and I have been sick...poor little Felix blew his first 'snot bubbles' yesterday...a real milestone!!!

So glad we bought a vapouriser a little while ago...makes a big difference to his sleep! Finally, he's started to sleep really well again...last night was 8 hours!!! Can't quite believe it...after 2 months of 2-3 hourly wake-ups, I'm so grateful!

Anyway...didn't want to make this all about me...

Hope all is well!

[sazzafrazz]

thanks ladies,

off to have celestes needles done in a tick..
bbl if I can

[secochook]

Happy Birthday Sazz for yesterday.

Luisa had her shots on Monday. I am glad I wasen't there as DW said she was crying so hard by the second one that no noise was coming out. She had no reaction other than a slight fever which is good.

This week has shown some great changes, better sleep patterns, including longer nights time ones. Virtually over night. She is smiling and interacting a lot more as well.

I think she has doubled in size. We will be finding out today as she has an appointment with the paedatrician today.

Hope all is well.

Jason

[Kimnastics]

Belated happy birthday, Sazz.

Jason - I found the first needles the worst (at the actual time of the needles). My poor boy looked at me for help and I was so upset that I couldn't. He just has a quick cry now.

Mako - Poor Sage. I agree with Monnie - Hayden had one slightly grizzly day with the 2nd tooth, compared to weeks of grizzles for the first tooth. Hope Sage is the same too. The giggling is absolutely gorgeous. Several months on, it is still the sweetest sound to me.

Monnie - Poor Felix with the snot bubbles.

Sushee - Glad Charlie copes so well with daycare. Willow is right, makes it much easier on mum to know he is happy.

Hi, everyone else.

[sazzafrazz]

Howdy gang.

Celeste had that same awful cry Jason. It is heartwrenching. I didnt cry though, just felt like it. Luckily she had only had half a feed in the waiting room so after she started breathing again I just put her on the boob and it helped stop the sobbing. I gave her some panadol in the waiting room before hand and she has had another dose just now but having trouble going off to sleep so I tried the dummy on her. She has never been interested but she has taken it now and gone to sleep! I took it away after she was zonked. WOW, she has never wanted it before, she must have been really upset! Her checkup was good though with her hips a-ok. DH has hip displacia and hers were a bit clicky but now all good. She has some marks on her face/neck that I wanted to make sure were the kind that fade and they should be gone by 12months of age. She is doing all the right things developmentally so all is good! My checkup was good too and I got a pat on the back for doing my abdo stuff from after the c-section.

She has had a lot of development over the last few weeks also. She has always been very responsive and communicative but now chats away to everyone (even the doctor before the jabs) She now sleeps through the night if I make sure I feed her around 10 or 11pm. She is trying to roll. And the big development yesterday was grasping a toy put into her hand. She is much more interested in books now and I can show her an entire picture book twice through but a few weeks ago she would lose interest after a couple of pages. It is so exciting seeing them develop but scary how fast it is going too. I am kind of freaked out how fast time is passing. hehe.

Mako, how cute is the giggling Sage is doing??? Celeste does the inwards giggle but not outwards if you know what I mean. (She makes a noise as she draws breath inwards) I love that sound on commercials or whatever. Might even get it as a ringtone... soooo cute. Hope is tooth settles soon, poor lil man.

Monnie, enjoy your holiday!!! I bet you will love the extra time with Felix agian. Hope you are both feeling all better soon. Yucky for him with the snotty nose. Will be better when he can blow it! Great that he is sleeping better again though especially with working.

Hello everyone else. Have a great long weekend and stay safe!
We are going to Adelaide to get Pixi Photos done on saturday, I'm all excited about it.... planning what to dress Celeste in lol.

[sazzafrazz]

We have just bought a 'family wagon'. Had to face up to the fact our little hatch back wasnt cutting it as a family car. Couldnt fit anything except the pram in there. Cant wait to pick it up: 2yr old VZ commodore exec. red Yep, we are a family and we proudly shall drive a family car lol.

One thing I've been thinking about lately: I still get that pang of envy when I hear of a new pregnancy or see a pregnant woman in the shops. It is like I had those feelings for so many years that it just comes naturally even though I have actually realised my dream of achieving it myself. Do you guys still get that? How long after your childs birth did it last? Is this normal or am I a complete nutter? hehehe.

Another thing: I hear others say they have feelings of sadness when watching their youngest do something. Like they know they wont get that newborn smell ever again or whatever... I catch myself feeling like that sometimes when Celeste is doing something. I am on the one hand enjoying the experience and sense of her achievement but on the other hand am thinking that I may never have this again if our other embies dont thaw or implant when the time comes. Do others feel this? Is it wrong to feel this way ... should I just be enjoying what I have? Yes this might be the last time but THANK GOD this is the first time too!
YKWIM?
ETA: Maybe its just the feeling that I might never have felt these things that is bothering me not the fact that I might not get it again?


Do you think you ever really get over being a LTTTC? I have a feeling it will stay with me for a long time yet.

Gotta say though that I am LOOOOOVVVVING being a Mum!!! This is the best time of my life!

Hope everyone is going well and too busy having fun with their children.