Parenting After a Loss ~ January 2008

[~Jayne~]

Geepers, you ladies can talk!

MICHELLE _ Oh wow, you are doing so fantastic with feeding Oscar PLUS working! Good on you! What dedication because I know how hard you had it in the beginning! You're a super-star! I love the mental image of you giving the expresser the hairy eyeballs! What a good boy Oscar is sleeping so well! Champions all around in your family!

JANIE _ You're soooooo going to end up an ABA consultant. Listen to you with all your great words of encouragement & advice! I can see in your posts how passionate you are about helping others, I think you're going to be GREAT! I think you have it wrong that your man is 10 months old. That's just not possible!!! Rewind the clock a little please!!! LOL

SPRING ANGEL _ Does your little one have an ear ache? Claudia was a champion sleeper from 5 weeks until 13 weeks when ear infections started & she just went haywire. I hope it's not his ears, but just a thought, because it sounds like what Claudia did.

WILLOW _ Your post rang very true with me. I have the Implanon implant in my arm atm, because I'm 100% certain I don't want any more children. My parents won't have it & it's driving me insane. I'm only 27 & they say I should try for a boy for Alan! What an insult! But anyway, it's not so much the fear of the pregnancy it's the amout of patience that is required for the pregnancy, the birth, the newborn, the breastfeeding, the teething, the learning, etc... It's amazing how quickly you forget just how tiring it can be! My eldest, Jessica, she takes up enough patience to go around for a classroom full of children. She is a bugger of a thing, but so adorable at the same time! Also, my husband is working & basically living overseas atm, so if I were to fall pg I'd have to pack my bags & run VERY fast! LOL.

LYNN _ I love your honesty & you're open-ness. You seem like you have it all worked out! Happy Bub = Happy Mum.

ME _ Well it must be the season for wakeful babies. I have a party girl named Claudia who likes to party for up to 5 hours per night sometimes. Yep, F I V E! Count them! LOL. Last night was the first best night in about 2 weeks so I'm hoping it's going to continue! I have to go get some beauty sleep, Jessica has swimming lessons in the morning & then gymnastics in the afternoon, plus we are having dinner with the IL's because it's Wednesday & it's also a cousins birthday so I have to keep the kids up for the family tradition of cake after dinner at the birthday girl's house. I'm going to need my weetbix tomorrow!

Good night!

[Michelle71]

Jayne - I love having you back around Our own personal cheer squad!! You made me laugh with the hairy eyeballs comment - I do feel like we (the pump and I) have that sort of relationship. Was thinking about pumping before going to bed because the boy is still asleep but I hate it sooooooo much. I need to get a supply in the freezer though. DH went back to work this week so I have arranged the shifts to be off until Friday and then I work 6 out of 7 days I will be knackered. Not to mention the repercussions from the boy. But he was off today too because Daddy had been at work all day so I can't win. Sleep is for losers

Night night girls. Have I said lately how happy I am to have a corner to chat in? And all my buddies too (old and new)!! I have the warm and fuzzies

[Janie]

I have to go to work but I will be back later with upping-supply advice for anyone who wants it. Michelle has already done an excellent job It's a shame we both know so much about it!

Bek, that's a great idea to see the ABA. Even if there's no meeting, give the hotline a call, they'll be very helpful. And maybe do a post for Barb, she'll be full of good ideas. A LC would be a great help to you if you're up to it.

Jayne, I am almost crying with relief to have you back! Will have to chat more later hun.

Have to go now grrrrrrrrrrrr, hope you all have a nice day, with lots of nice feeds and sleeps LOL.

[Willow]

Sleep is for losers

Michelle - I'll have to keep reminding myself of that! I'm hanging for preschool days tomorrow and Friday hoping I can have a nana nap when the boy is asleep! Little Miss decided to drop her day sleep just after xmas....man I miss her day sleep

it's the amout of patience that is required for the pregnancy, the birth, the newborn, the breastfeeding, the teething, the learning, etc...

Jayne - I'm hearing you!! It's definitely been a shock to the old system this time around. I'm not sure if it's just juggling the two that makes it more work this time, or whether, as DH believes, we have this special women's ability to magically forget the sleepless nights, the sore nipples, the teething terrors! There just might be something to this theory of his...the pressure and expectations I've placed on myself for this to be perfect after our loss, IVF etc has definitely NOT helped though.

Upping supply - not sure if this will help anyone, but I've swapped my daily milo (or two!) for aktivite this week and I've noticed a difference in my supply. I don't have any issues with supply, but figured if I was drinking milo anyway, there was no harm in switching over and if it gave my supply an extra boost, than that was a bonus. I had some EBM in the freezer that was coming up to it's use by date so last night I gave L a bottle at bed time and then expressed after he'd gone to bed (no offence to anyone who does it but gawd I just don't have the patience for bottle feeding!! It takes soooooo long! Feel very fortunate that it's not something I have to do very often). DH and I couldn't believe it when I managed to express 220mls at 10pm at night. There's no way I could have done that with DD. I'm sure it's not just the aktivite, my supply is much more abundant this time than it was with DD - the benefits of having a little milk piggy I suppose!

Better go put the little man back to bed. I have the re-scheduled psych appt today and TOTALLY dreading it... has to be done though. So everyone keeps telling me....

[BekZ]

Yey - I managed to bf Loren at 10.30 last night, at 3am and another at 6.30am. All three bfeeds she literally took 10mins to feed. After this morns feed I tried ff because she was cranky but she rejected this too and ended up spewing all over me.

Willow - I know what you mean about bottles taking so long. Miss Loren will only have 60ml at a time, so a feed ends up being 30 mins with the bottle and then she spews on me. I never had this with Sara, she'd woof down 120mls in 10 mins a I would not hear from her for 3 hours. I think Loren is a snacker.

[BekZ]

Willow - All the best for your apt today

[~Jayne~]

MICHELLE _ You're going to be working 6 days? You've got to be kidding me! How long are the shifts?? Who is going to be looking after Oscar? WOW! You're incredible. Are you just giving away putting on your pj's & going to bed? You're right, you're going to be exhausted. If you're going to TTC you might just have to wash your underwear together & hope for the best because you aint going to be in any shape to be getting naked with that roster! PMSL. I'm so relieved at this thread too, I feel like I can breathe again!

WILLOW _ You're right. You forget all the horrible bits & you remember all the good bits like learning to smile & rolling over, etc... it's the same with the labour & the pushing. Sh&t you forget what that's like pretty quick but as soon as you're doing it again it all comes rushing back! BOL with your appointment today. I have no idea what it's for but BOL anyway! I've just re-read this & it makes it sound as though parenting is too much hardwork & not much good, but it's completely not true, you just forget what it all entails, good, bad & otherwise.

JANIE _ You're at work as well? Geepers, I'm certainly the lady of leisure!!!! What is that you do? I have missed you sooooooo much too. I love my Belly Babies thread but it's just soooooooo serious & you know me, I don't know serious. How does your little Nicholas go when you're at work? Who has him?

ME _ We had a great night. Claudia didn't wake until 5am & then at 7am. She was nearly asleep with me at 7am but then Jessica came busting in. So she went to sleep in the creche today while Jessica was swimming. Claudia is learning so much atm. It's incredible how much each day. I just put her down for her arvo nap & she didn't even make a sound. So I went & had a shower & checked on her & she was asleep with both legs stuck in the same bar of the cot. I don't know how she managed that, but she cried when I moved them & one of them was mighty stuck. I guess that's what happens when you've got thunder thighs! Have a wonderful day girls!

Love jayne

[Willow]

Well I survived my appt...just! It is a strange experience indeed telling a stranger your deepest darkest memories, stuff you've never said out loud to anyone (even my DH or my mum) and completely losing the plot. I swear I got so upset at one point I got a bit scared i was going to puke!! That would have been a good look

Jayne - Have been having a few 'issews' since DS's birth. Just very stressed and not dealing with his early sleeping probs (which have largely resolved thank god!) and started having panic attacks. That's all under control now but we've just started talking about my loss and stuff I should have dealt with at the time and didn't - its kinda come back to bite me on the bum! So with the very stern 'encouragement' of my family I'm 'in therapy'! On a serious note, it is helping and I'm feeling much better these days, helps to get this stuff off your chest rather than leave it sitting there festering which is what I tend to do.

I know what you mean about making it all sound awful and hard, I've been a bit guilty of that myself the last few months and that's only half the picture, if there wasn't another amazing part full of smiles and cuddles and pure joy at these little creatures, none of us would be daft enough to go back for more!

DH is going to a work function tonight (yeah "work" - they're going go karting at Eastern Creek! Tough job but someone has to do it ) and bedtimes have been a bit rough around here lately so kinda dreading it. Feel a bit wiped out after my appt too which isn't helping. Just going to do a really easy dinner for DD and I, get them bathed and in bed and hope that doesn't take too long!!

[Spring Angel]

BekZ: Sorry to hear Loren is not the best. DS went through a period of breast refusal and every feed was a struggle but thankfully it passed within about a week. Hopefully your little one is feeling better soon.

Willow: I know what you mean about therapy being exhausting but you are doing the right thing dealing with those dark feelings/memories. I hope you are feeling a little better and the kiddies go to bed easily for mumma tonight.

Lynn: mummy guilt is a terrible thing but I 100% agree Happy Mum = Happy Baby. I'm so glad to hear that you are getting to enjoy time with your little man.

Jayne: Thanks for the tip on the ear ache. I'll get him checked but I don't think that is what it is because some nights he is a dream. Confusing little creatures aren't they? Glad to hear that you had such a great night with your girls.

I know it might sound weird but I keep putting off expressing like somehow if it doesn't work I won't have to go back to work (go figure) the mortgage won't pay itself. Anyway, I'm going to start next week. Thanks for the tip on the Aktivite Willow, I don't have supply problems but I am not the best at expressing so all the help I can get is better. Anyway, off to weight watchers now and then a early night. DS was great last night (well as good as it gets around here ATM.) Slept from 10.30pm until 4.00am and then again 7.30am so I'm not complaining.

Anyway BBL

Take care
Lv Spring

[BekZ]

Wow had a shocking day today. Loren and I both woke up sick with a cold. Sara has been sick all week and I kept her home from daycare. All us girls were in a horrible mood Loren only slept for 1 hour total all day and right now she is in the HAB after 1 hour of screaming. I am too afraid to stop moving in case she wakes up. She is finding it hard to breath which really is not helping re-establishing bfing, I have managed to get 4 small feeds out of her today.

I have never had a sick infant before, anyone know what to dowith a blocked nose?

Good luck Willow with the night routine on your own, I hate it when DH has to work at this time.

[Spring Angel]

Bek: Sorry hear you are all feeling so sick. For Loren's nose you can try nose fess which is when you put saline in their nose and use a little suction thingo to get it out, or a room aspirator. Oliver and I both had a head cold in Jan and it was terrible but luckily they do get over it quickly.

Take care
Lv Spring

[Michelle71]

Have I mentioned recently that I hate expressing Seriously - I do. But it needs to be done and so I have managed to get a HUGE 30mls from both boobies after 30 minutes of pumping to add to the collection. And now it is off to bed.

Big sprinkles of sleepy dust for the little people (and their mummies and daddies)

[Spring Angel]

Well I tried expressing and I am a complete unco. I couldn't even get letdown the first attempt and the second time (after feeding him) I got about 40 mls. The good news is that he drank from the bottle for the first time so that is a bit of progress.

I'm going to the ABA shop at Castle Hill next week to check out some of their publications on breastfeeding and work. I don't think I'm expressing properly because I seem to keep losing suction

Any tips?

Spring

[Michelle71]

I didn't really check out your boobies last time I saw you I have an electric pump because I found the manual ones were giving me RSI from the amount of time I was spending in close company with it initially. 40mls is great though for a first attempt and many are only able to get that much anyway - ie ME!! I am somewhat larger busted and had issues with the seal for a while.

It helps to lean forward while you are expressing for flow and also to keep the suction on. It is important to be VERY distracted so the let down can occur. Sometimes stroking the top of the breast (like the baby does) can improve let down as can thinking of "milky waterfalls". Sounds nuts but it works - OK, maybe I am just nuts but it works for me. I also try to read a magazine, read a book, watch TV - anything to distract from the pressure of trying the express. The more worried I am about it the less volume I get.

Yay for Oliver though - good boy taking the bottle of EBM. One less worry for mummy. Now .......... off to pump again while the little man sleeps.

[Spring Angel]

Feel free to check out my boobies whenever you want They are about a C/D cup but rather spongy and floppy at the moment. Conjures up a lovely image doesn't it? So I think leaning forward will help.

You are right, the entire time I was watching the pump to see if anything was coming out and there was nothing. So not only was it frustrating but also I have a sore neck (lol).

Another question, how much do you express for DS when you are leaving him for the day? Travel included I'll be away from DS about 10 hours twice a week and he usually has three feeds in that time (plus water) but I have no idea what I should be aiming for in terms of mls.

Spring

[Spring Angel]

Oh and another question, did you hire your breastpump or buy it? And what brand is it?

Ta

[BekZ]

Spring - I sent DH out last night to fet some fess and it really helped!! Thanks for the tip. Good luck with expressing. I tried last night and got 10mls.

I have managed to bf Loren twice today and I had to ff once after much refusal and screaming. After such a horrible day yesterday I Loren to bed at 10.30pm and she slept until 7am....!!!! Wow Good for mummy's sleep but not good for boobs!!!

Loren crying again...bbl

[~Jayne~]

BekZ - WTG on Loren having such a good sleep! I think it would have done the both of you the world of good. That's great that she had two breastfeeds today! Things are looking good!

Michelle _ I was going to ask if you were keeping distracted when pumping but I seriously think because you hate it so much, it affects how much you get. You're going to hate me but my pump used to my my boobies. I used to be able to get 200mL per time. HOWEVER, I would never be able to get that now, because I"m only feeding her twice in the 24hour period. I have always been a gold medal winner with expressing. Do you drink water while you're expressing? That's meant to help as well.

Spring Angel - Oh yes, the spongy boobies idea has just sent me ga-ga! LOL. If you're using an avent pump, I found that taking off the plastic cover thingy on the cup helped me wonders?

ME _ Two nights in a row that Claudia didn't wake up after 30 minutes in bed at night! I think we're on a roll! Also, I'm just loving myself stupid today because a pair of my shorts that were quite snug last week have a bit of room in them today! WOO HOO! I lost 2kg last week so I'm already seeing a diff in my clothes! I love it. Now just 20 more kg to go.........