Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 2008

[Lynn]

Sorry guys just struggling at the moment with feeding. Ethan is just crying after a feed and it upsets me to see him so upset. I rang the clinic nurses yesterday to see if they could help and their answer was to get DH or my mum to feed him that just made me feel like it is all my fault that it is going to $hit. I went out last night and got some new anti-colic bottles to see if that helps. It is just so heartbreaking hearing him cry the way he does like he is in so much pain and I just can't help him. I am hoping the new bottles help. He has been sleeping beautifully and does 2 big sleeps at night so I am feeling ok physically.........mentally is another story.

I'll BBL with some personals - sorry to be slack

[BekZ]

Thanks for your understanding ladies regarding bfing. It really helps to know that I am not going nuts or being too self absorbed!!!

Mako - I so know how you feel regarding parents and baby sitting issues!!!! I have had to be really firm with all the grandparents at some time or another. It is espeacially hard to approach your DH's family as well. If Sage is going to be baby sat regularly by your MIL I would make a point of trying to spend some time at her place with you all there. Try and teach her what you want and expect. This can be done by just being there and verbalising everything. Eg, say outloud in front of her that Sage is tired because he is cranky and he really needs his sleep or else it will be hard for him to settle later on. I watched my SIL do this with my step mum and wow my step mum knows exactly what my SIL's kids need, and their routine. If the subtle approach does not work and you are still suffering be more direct with your wishes. I also agree with Janie on letting things go as well, as long as you are not suffering too much for it.

Lynn - Hugs sweety. You are doing just great. Maybe they suggested someone else feed bub so that you could get some rest.. Are you trying to bf or bottle atm? Does Ethan have reflux and or colic, do you think that is why he is upset?

[bailey99]

Lynn, please don't be so hard on yourself. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will all get better soon. My Ethan used to have an hour or so of full on screaming from about 6pm when he was about this age, and I remember it being hard. You just feel so helpless huh? The clinic told me that babies all have a period of being unsettled. It doesn't help much when you are stressed tough does it? Do you think it is colic? I don't know much about it, so I can't really give any advice, but I just wanted to let you know i'm thinking of you. And remember, you are an excellent mum. I tell you, my littlest monster will not sleep unless she is being held! I cannot get anything done, she won't even settle in the pram! DS used to sleep for hours in the pram, but Lola just wants to be carried around - litle bugger!

[Spring Angel]

Lynn: I agree with Bek and Bailey, just hang in there honey, you are doing a fab job. Unexplained crying is another word for 'mummy torture' it is so bloody hard to cope with and when it is happening life just seems so difficult but it will pass, I promise.

Mako: We saw Run Fat Boy Run. TBH I wasn't really looking forward to it but it was the Mum's and Bubs so I couldn't be picky. It was actually quite cute, I enjoyed it. Next week is Vantage Point which I can't wait for. About your MIL, I'd tell her in no uncertain terms to pull her head in (sorry I have longstanding MIL issues) You are right, you are fortunate to have someone to help out but that doesn't mean that she can disrespect what you say. I'd nip that one in the bud quicksmart.

Janie: How are you going hun? Hope you get some rest at the beach. I have managed to avoid all chocies so far, in fact I went and bought sugar free lollies to help get me through the weekend. Let's see if I can fool myself.

Jayne: WTG Claudia, sleeping in until 9.00am is unreal. Now mumma just needs to take it easy and stop doing so much. Easier said than done I know.

Well I'm a bit down about my weekend. DH is working Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon. Poor me. I'm thinking of taking DS to a park with some ducks etc because he is getting really interested in his surrounds. Solids are going well. Sweet potato wasn't a huge success. He actually gagged so much he made himself vomit, but the banana and avo are going down a treat so I"m going to stick with them for the time being. I'm also really proud of DS because he is taking water from a sippy cup and even holding it by himself. Oh shucks, my little boy is growing up.

Lv Spring

[Janie]

Warning *poor me* post ahead.

I am so tired. I just slammed my finger in the car door and it bl00dy hurt. I'm sure it's fine, it's just me being tired and emotional that makes it worse. DS is so bl00dy unhappy, but I'm pretty sure I can blame the tooth. He has done 6 disgusting runny poos today, has had bright red cheeks, and the tooth has poked it's nose through. I guess that's a good thing . I have so much to do to get ready to go away, I just want to BE there already. My house looks like a tip, I hate going away like that. And all I want to do is lie down and go to sleep for a week.

*Vent over* Please just tell me that it's going to get better. I know it could be so much worse, but it's hard to remember that ATM.

Have a lovely Easter everyone, looking forward to having a full house again next week! Spring, I'll be thinking of you I've spent many Easters on my own while DH works, so I empathise.

[BekZ]

Spring - Sorry to hear that your DH is working over the long weekend.

Janie = Hugs, I hope your finger gets better. There is light at the end of the teething tunel!!! It certaninly sounds like your little man is teething...poor boy and mummy.

[Janie]

Sorry about that folks

Feeling much better this morning after going to sleep early (9.30!!!!!!!!). We'll get to the beach house when we get there, I'm not going to stress about it. Little boy is a bit happier today too

Thanks Bek

[Spring Angel]

Youchie Janie, I hope your finger feels better. Enjoy the beach and drive safely.

[Spring Angel]

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

After weeks of an unsettled bub who won't sleep, won't settle and is so clingy, I can see two little white teeth coming through on DS's bottom jaw.

Thank the lord all of this wasn't for nothing.

Now if they would only pop and so I can be a proud mumma and take a pic.

WTG Ollie!!!!

[bailey99]

Yay on your teeth Ollie! You are such a clever boy - now go to sleep
Spring - I was a bit sad when DS got teeth, they were cute and all but it just meant the end to those gorgeous, dribbly, gummy grins.

[mako]

Spring I hope Ollies teeth don't take as long as Sage's is taking to come through. We have been going for about 5 or 6 weeks so far, and it has been up to the surface of the gum for this long too I'm praying that it pops through VERY soon.

Janie Have a good time at the beach. Hope your finger is better now.

Lynn How is Ethan today? Has he settled down a bit today?

Bekz Thanks for the advice regarding MIL. I think I'll do my best to bite my tongue for now. Its just hard because its me who has to contend with a very over tired, grumpy boy when I get home

Last night was a shocker here. Sage woke up at 1am and was crying and grumpy until 5.30am. He ended up going to sleep and woke at 7am. He hasn't been well either. He had a temp again and I think he may be getting a cold too

I want to wish you all a very happy Easter and I hope you have a great weekend.

[~Jayne~]

Hello!
I'm bad, I know, I have been MIA & I soooooooo wanted to be able to boost you guys up with the no sleep, cranky babies, horrible nappies & feeding issues! Grrr to me!

Ok, firstly though I have BIG NEWS! Really big exciting news. Well, exciting for us anyway. LOL, I better just say first up though, I'm NOT pregnant. Hehehe, that'd be a nightmare. LOL.

Jessica's bunny - CHocky Boy (who is a girl) delivered F I V E healthy babies overnight on Wednesday. They are just sooooooo ugly that they are absolutely beautiful! We have been trying to crack into the rabbit breeding industry for a while, but because they are my rabbits, I thought they were either infertile or lesbians. But FINALLY we have little babies. Jessica has named every single one of them Cockleshell

Ok, I"ll have a crack at personals:

JANIE _ Where are you going & why wasn't I invited? LOL. Seriously, just take a deep breath & C H I L L woman! I'm so glad to hear that Nicholas has snapped out of his grumpiness & that you are feeling more refreshed but bugger on the finger in the cardoor! Hope it's ok now?

MAKO _ Sounds like Sage is brewing something. The 5 hours of crying isn't nice for either of you. I hope he's perked up today & will sleep better for you tonight? I hope he's not getting sick for his first Easter.

SPRING _ WTG on the new teeth! WOO HOO! Now I hope he will shut his eyes & let you catch up on some welld deserved sleep! I'll be thinking of you over Easter, I don't have my man either. It makes it very hard, but my next door neighbours man is away too, so we've been together nearly all day with the kids. It's been really great.

LYNN _ Does Ethan have reflux? Jessica used to scream blue murder after every feed & I ended up bottle feeding her because I'd associate breastfeeding with making her scream so it made it very stressful for the both of us & in the end we found it was silent reflux. Do you think it's wind? I know that wind & colic are sooooo horrible because there is really nothing you can do for them. Have you got a baby sling that you could pop Ethan in & go for a walk? Perhaps some fresh air might help?

BEK _ Wow, that is very clever & crafty of your SIL & it's obviously worked a treat! Good on her!

BAILEY _ As yet, I've not had the pleasure! But lovely to meet you! I am loving the name LOLA! What a great name, so very cute & sophisticated at the same time.

ME _ Totally on Cloud 9 with our baby bunnies. Claudia has a cold that is starting to turn into a cough, Jessica has a serious issue of disobedience, but otherwise all good in our house. Just really starting to get tired & miss Alan now. Still over 2 weeks until he is home.

Love Jayne oxx

[BekZ]

Jayne - Congrates on the new editions to your family...how cute baby Easter Bunnies!!!!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

[Spring Angel]

Jayne: Oh how cute, little bunnies at Easter. You'll have to post some pics.

Happy Easter to all.

Lv Spring

[Lynn]

Spring - Woohoo on Ollie's teeth! I hope that they don't take too long to come down. Has he slept better now? Are you getting more sleep? It is great to hear that is Ollie is enjoying his solids.

Jayne - how exciting little bunnies for Easter! So cute. Hope the next few weeks fly by and Alan is home very soon. i'm not sure if Ethan has reflux or wind but he does settle down after a good burp. It is definitely much better on the bottle.

Mako - 5 hours of crying does not sound fun. I hope he doesn't get a cold and settles down for you soon.

Janie - hope you are enjoying the beach house. I hope your finger is ok - ouch!

Bailey - sounds like Lola is clingy! How is she going now?

Thanks everyone for your support - Ethan has been doing much better on his feeds, most of which are bottle now. He doesn't seem to be crying as much but I will still get the gp to check him out this week. We had a wedding last night and I was really worried about how he would be but he was awesome!!! He slept beautifully and when he was awake he was giving plenty of smiles. We had to leave when the band started up cos that was just too loud for him. We have had a very busy weekend with family cos my sister and DH brother are in town. Hope everyone is enjoying their loooooong weekend.

[BekZ]

Lynn - Is Ethan formula feeding atm? I have just spent the day with my SIl whose 5month old bub has struggled with feeding and being unsettled from birth. My SIL has had her on all sorts of medication (reflux) and formulas. Finally her ped put bub a formula that has had the proteins broken down. After 3 days bub is no longer unsettled and takes a whole bottle no probs. Just a thought

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Easter. We had a pretty full on time meeting up with family etc, but Sara has had a ball. Mind you she had a chocky hang over this arvo!!! Poor me and DH we had to put up with such a cranky little 2yo.

I just found out that my good friend may have to go down the IVF path. So far her gyno has sent her for every test possible and none are coming back very positive. I feel so bad for my friend and her DH, they are such lovely poeple who would just be wonderful parents. Fingers crossed that they are blessed with a little baby some time soon.

[Spring Angel]

Ok self indulgent post. I know it should go in the Boo hoo but I don't want sympathy or people to intvite me places, I just want to get it out so just ignore me.

I am so homesick.

* I am sick of being sooooo lonely
* I am sick of not having a social life.
* I am sick of missing my friends and family in Brisbane
* I am sick of not having any help with DS, whereas if I was at home I would have plenty of hands who would love to help.
* I am sick of living in this stupid rental when we have a lovely 5 bedroom home in Brisbane that we designed and built.
* I am sick of spending countless days trying to think of things to do and realising that I have bugger all to do.
* I am sick of Oliver not having any play buddies whereas in Brissy all my friends have babies and kids.
* I am sick of missing friend/family gatherings.
* I am sick of spending times that should be fun (LIKE FREAKING EASTER) all alone and seeing my DH for an hour or so at night before he goes to bed. I know it isn't his fault and he works long hours in a stressful job but apart from DS he is my only really company.
* I am sick of being fat.
* I am sick of DS not sleeping for longer than 45 mins during the day.
* I am sick of DS waking numerous times at night.
* I am sick of freaking teething.

Basically I am sick of everything.

Vent OVAH!

[bailey99]

Aww Spring. I cannot imagine how you must feel. I could never leave here and all my support from family and friends, it must be so hard. How long does DH have to stay in his job here before he can transfer?? My DH has been offered a good job in Brisbane where we could sell our place here and buy there and have half the mortgage, meaning I wouldn't have to work at all - there are so many good reasons for us to do it, but I couldn't leave my mum and dad etc. It must be so hard. I guess it may have been ok for you at first, just to have a fresh start and a bit of a break after losing Harry, but now you need to be home huh. I hope you can work it out and get home soon.