Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 2008

[MistyFying]

Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. Here you will find women with a similar journey to share the excitement, joy and sometimes the anxiety of parenting after a loss.

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

Niliac
Mistyfying and
Flowerchild

Their email addresses can be found here.

Please note - To receive thread notfications click the "thread tools" button at the top of this post and click "Subscribe to Thread" there is no need to post in order to get notifications. You will find the previous thread here.

Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!

Congratulations...

[Willow]

Mako - yeah, that car park was so stupid!! I wanted to pay for parking on the way out but couldn't find a pay booth thingo (you know like they have at Westfields) so I asked someone and she said just pay at the booth when you go out but I tried two different exits (after driving around for like 10 mins) and no booth! Finally found one with a pay booth but then had no idea where I was so asked the pay booth chick how to get to the highway...well, I think she has a worse sense of direction than me...luckily I ignored her and went the way I thought I came in and for once I was right! LOL. By this time it was like 2.40pm and I'm panicking about getting to preschool in time to pick V up. Made it with a minute to spare. And yep, had loads of fun nappy shopping last night! Cheered me up a bit.......hehehe, geddit?? "cheered" me up...sorry, that was pretty poor...LOL!

Michelle - my back is killing me today. Just muscle soreness - do you think it could be from carrying him in the Ergo?! I have no idea what else it could be....

Love these new emoticons (apart from the angel)!

[Lynn]

Hey girls!

I agree it was great to catch up and meet you Willow and Mako. The carpark was crazy! I was driving around and around but I was following the exit signs. But I did manage to find an exit that I could pay at.

I wasn't the 'someone' that emailed the mods to change the angel icon but I am glad it has changed. I just didn't like the other one, but that is my opinion.

Michelle, what you are talking about, Lynn isn't my real name

Willow, I hope your back is ok.

Spring, hope you had a good night last night

Mako, we will definitely go closer to your side of town next time so you can stay longer. We shopped up a storm in Cotton on kids (well Michelle did anyway!)

Tess, already welcomed you, but welcome again. It is great to see you in here

Well a little woohoo for my little man - he slept through the night last night!!! We have just had an awesome few days. I couldn't believe how well behaved he was yesterday and then last night we went to my mum & dads for dinner and my dad was reading him a story and he was smiling and laughing and it was just precious.........I had tears (but finally happy ones!) Oh and another little woohoo - my little man is 3 months old! Oh and another one, happy 5 year anniversary to me and DH

[Michelle71]

Happy Anniversary Lynn!! I am soooooo jealous about the sleeping through but he is a little gem.

Yep - I shopped up a storm but he is growing out of all of his clothes (as he should after 10 months and STILL fitting into some he was wearing at birth ) Plus with the cloth nappies the all in ones don't fit - he keeps popping the poppers!!! SO we have a few new tops to wear. He wore the ipood one to the markets today

Willow - It might have been the Ergo but I don't usually get that problem (and I have a silly back) But you may just have been walking straight for a change rather than tilted to carry him on your hip and your back doesn't know what to do with this new posture :P

[mako]

Willow at your little "cheer" joke. You're a cack lol
Good on you for following your own sense of direction too.
When we arrived yesterday I went and changed Sage's nappy and I asked a cleaner where the Cookie Man shop was and she said she had no idea as it was her 1st day lol. Trust me to ask someone with no idea
How did DS sleep last night?
Hope your back is feeling better soon too.
There is a post about cheap ergo's in the sling thread if you're interested. I just noticed it before I came in here.

Lynn Congrats to you and dh on 5 years. Well done
Happy 3 month birthday Ethan and you're such a good little boy for sleeping through the night. Must have been Poppy's story telling

Michelle Hope you had fun at the F & V market. I love the markets for fresh food....MMM maybe thats something DH and I could do tomorrow.
I love that shop too. Sage has a ....mmm boobies t shirt lol. They have some great clothes and oh so cheap.....

Not too much going on here. DH is at a 4WD thing and Sage is finally asleep. He had a shocker last night. Woke at 12 and was still up at 5am
I've been doing the boring stuff like 5 loads of washing, dishes, cleaning up etc etc.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

[Spring Angel]

Hi ladies: Tess great to hear about how you are. You are not boring us at all, I've been wondering how you are.

Lynn: Whoo Hoo on DS sleeping through the night and congratus on 5 years . I hope Mexican is yummy tonight.


Mako: Sorry to hear you had such a rough night. We had a crappy one here also. I'm sure our boys were talking baby talk across the table and conspiring against us.

Michelle: Those cotton on Shirts were so cute. I told DH about the "I pulled an all-nighter' and he wants one for DS.

Willow: I know what you mean about that carpark. I remember the first time I went then I felt like it was a maze but TBH I had forgotten about it otherwise I would have warned you guys. Glad you got to pick up DD in time.

Well we had a lovely day, went to the Benowra (Sp?) State Forest for a walk and then to the Cumberland Forest which has a nursery and cafe. It was so nice to get out and Oliver was just totally enthralled in a Magpie which was following us. Oh and an exciting thing today, Ds went from on his tummy to sitting for the first time.
Caught us both by surprise because one moment he was on his mat and the next moment he was sitting up with his book. Clever boy.

Hope you all have a great Saturday night. Early to bed tonight to make up for last nights events



Lv Spring

[Willow]

I wasn't the 'someone' that emailed the mods to change the angel icon but I am glad it has changed. I just didn't like the other one, but that is my opinion.

Nah Lynn, it was me

[bailey99]

Lynn - Just wanted to wish you a happy anniversary. And can you believe that our big babies are 3 months already??

[BekZ]

Tess - Welcome sweety!!

Sounds like everyone had a great meet up.

Mako - Maybe we should do some sort of 1/2 way meet up or I could just look out for cheap flights to Sydney or New Castle.

Wow I can't keep up with everything that is going on.

Lynn - Congrates on your little man sleeping through the night!! and happy anniversary.

Spring - clever boy sitting up

Well AF returned today...I haven't had her visit for 16 months, and I am really hating the pains atm

Miss Loren is rolling over and her giggles are infectious atm. I got some MCN this week. Loren pooed in the first one whilst we were still on the change table and then she weed in the second one straight after that...this was after having them on the line for 2 days drying. We got a bit longer use out of them today though...need to buy some more

[Lynn]

Bailey - I know, it is crazy that they are 3 months old! Everyone keeps telling me that the first 3 months are the hardest - does this means it gets easier!!!! How is Lola going?

Spring - I'm sorry you had such a bad night. I hope last night was better. It sounds like you had a nice day walking - bubs love to get out as there is so much to see. I took Ethan to watch DH play soccer and he was looking around a bit but then feel asleep in my arms. I'm sure the fresh air is good for him.

Mako - I hope you had a better night too! What is going on with these little rascals! I'm doing the washing thing today - what fun!

Willow - Thanks Willow! I'm glad that you emailed them. I was going to but then thought was I just being to sensitive but I must admit that I do like this one a lot better.........thanks again

Bek - that is great that Loren is rolling over. The giggles are priceless aren't they. I am waiting for AF to turn up but so far it hasn't. With my type of cycle it could be months! I shouldn't complain but I was just hoping that it might return to some sort of normality...............who am I kidding!

Well Ethan was fed at 9.30pm last night and slept through until 5.30am - what a little champion! And DH got up and fed him so I could sleep in. But it is so not cool to sleep during the day anymore so I must cherish the night sleeps.

Have a nice Sunday everyone

[Michelle71]

Small woo hoo here - we slept in our own bed until after 5am AND we had a nearly 4 hour sleep from about 1am Hopefully we are on the improvement in the sleeping department. Nappies are fabulous and no more leaking overnight - although he has christened almost all of them with a poo

WARNING: VENT AHEAD

Well, I am feeling a little sorry for myself. AF is due in a few days and I know it will be one more month without success (yes, we are TTC and have been for a while) One month closer to having to make the decision about (potentially) weaning and (potentially) going back on clomid. Why does it have to be so hard Why can *everyone* else just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. What have I done sooooo wrong that we are faced with this each and every time.

I have waited so long to be a mummy. I don't want to wean my little man if he is the only living baby I am going to get. But I don't want to keep feeding him if it means I have no chance of conceiving either. I want DS to choose when to stop feeding, not be forced to stop because of my selfish needs to have another baby Overall, just feeling blah and hating the thought of making the decision either way.

I'll BBL when my mood is better

[Janie]

Michelle, I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for you, because you know what? It isn't fair. I'm guessing there's no way of doing AC while still BFing? You know whatever your decision we're all here to support you. You are a wonderful mummy to Oscar, and you will be to the children you have in the future too. I'm glad the sleep is looking better! It's been a bit better here too, so I know how good that feels Are you using night nappies now?

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I've been MIA, I have been lurking and reading all your posts, just a bit busy to be posting myself. I'm very jealous of you girls catching up, I would love to meet you!

We went to 'sleep school' 9 days ago, and it was great! Thank goodness, because I was very anxious about it. No CC etc, which was good, because I wasn't going to do it anyway :P. Things are not perfect, but they're a darn sight better. I only went really because DS was starting scream blue murder everytime he had to go to sleep, and he wouldn't cosleep anymore either. He still doesn't really want to cosleep, but he's not screaming like you've cut his leg off anymore. I can't believe my boy can go to sleep in his cot, without tears too! It does take more time though, hence my reduced BB time.

I went to an ABA seminar yesterday, and presented my case history, it went really well. The ABA ladies are so lovely, and so supportive. The guest speakers were great too, Sue Cox, and Pinky McKay, among others. I stayed for the dinner afterwards too, so it was a long day away from DS, but he had a lovely time, and didn't miss me at all it appeared! He loves going to his grandma's

I'll try to get back into the swing of personals now. Though I think I'm busy again for the next couple of weeks, because among other things, DS turns ONE soon *sob*, and we're having a party for him in a fortnight. I haven't really organised it yet, I've been too busy preparing for yesterday. Should be doing it now, DH has taken DS out to watch some footy! But I can't relax, because the rain has been awful, and I worry about them out in the car. Sometimes I think I'm just too much of a stresshead, I almost told him not to go

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend

[Lynn]

Oh Michelle, I hear ya babe It is so not fair that *everyone* else falls pg so easily.........I know! I just wish it wasn't hard for you. I ask the same question all the time - what did I do wrong. It seems I have to struggle for everything but others around me get it so easily. I guess someone wants me to be "challenged". Well you know what I say to being challenged!!! (can't type it - too rude!). Unfortunately there is no easy answer. It is a decision that you need to make as to whether you ween Oscar and start on Clomid or you continue b/f and start clomid later.................just typing that I have no idea what I would do if I was still b/f. I know I'm not much help, I just hope that you can fall pg without Clomid and that way you get to still b/f - wouldn't it be great if life was so easy! Big big hugs to you babe

Janie - welcome back! It would be great to meet you too. Sounds like you have been really busy. That is great news that DS is sleeping better - it makes the world of difference to everyone in the family doesn't it! I can understand you *sobbing* at DS turning 1 - I am upset because Ethan was 3 months yesterday. It is going way tooooooo fast. I am a stresshead too. DH has gone on a ride with some mates (motorbike) and I always worry when he is gone because he is gone for half the day. I said to him this morning 'please please ride carefully, I don't want Ethan growing up without a dadddy'. Why is that we fear the worst now?!?!?!?

[Michelle71]

Thank girls. I know I can let it out and you understand. I just hate having to face the choice and not knowing which one to take. Just had a family announcement in the past week of first pregnancy on the first month of trying (with PCOS). He is announcing how virile he is and in turn is stabbing me through the heart as we face another session of drugs. He has no idea how this hurts me but poor DH is hearing about it. I feel bad for him but I have to rant to someone and a poor me moment every now and then is good for the soul (or so I keep telling myself).

Janie - AC and breastfeeding is a bit of a grey area. The clomid can often inhibit milk production and the breastfeeding can inhibit effective ovulation and implantation. I really need to bite the bullet and make and appointment to discuss the pros and cons with my gynae (whose wife also conceived on clomid). I am so pleased the presentation went well for you I know what you mean about the first birthday fast approaching. There is only about 6 weeks to go here too You might need to give me some of the sleep school tips although (fingers crossed) things aren't too bad here (well, today anyway :P)

Lynn - I hope your DH gets back soon. There has been a storm warning put out that covers your area (and I just got wet in it too!!) I think the losses we have had makes us so much more aware of the potential losses we can have. I know after Caitlyn I was sooooooo anxious. I still have moments. I worry about people travelling, getting hurt, dying etc. All perfectly normal but it doesn't make it any easier.

We did some retail therapy this morning (first weekend off together in ages) and bought a wooden toy for Oscar. It can carry blocks in it but it just a box on wheels with a handle and he is off!!!! He walks sooooooo fast with this thing to help. I am not sure if we are going to regret the purchase later this afternoon

[Spring Angel]

Michelle: I've been trying to get on here all day to reply to you but BB is being so slow at the moment that I am pulling my hair out trying to post. I am sorry that you are facing such a difficult decision, I don't know what I'd do either. I guess I don't know enough about how the AC drugs work, but I do know one thing, Oscar will not begrudge you if you decided to wean him. You have done an amazing job to get this far with all the issues you have faced BF so pat on the back for you honey. I know what it is like to set BF goals. I've set a goal of 12 months but know I don't know if I'll go further. AF hasn't returned for me yet and with my Mum it didn't until she weaned me at 18 months so I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I guess I just wanted to say that no matter what decision you make, you have done an unreal job.

Janie: I'd love to meet you IRL also. Sounds like the ABA conference was awesome! Congrats on doing the presentation from what I remember there were going to be about 200 people there so well done. Oh and it is fantastic to hear that DS is sleeping better without CC. I've just hired the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' so I'm going to start reading it soon.

Bek: How cute is it when the giggle? I just love it. Hope AF is kind to you.

Lynn: I can't believe that your little man is 3 months either. And what a clever boy Ethan is sleeping so well for you, you must feel like a million bucks.

Well I had another trial away from DS with DH in charge. DS was perfect, a bit sooky but I guess that is to be expected for a while. Drank his EBM from his sippy cup, had his lunch and wait for it, an HOUR sleep. I can't believe he slept that long for Daddy in his cot. That would be right, I bet tomorrow we are back to 30 mins for mummy

About to have a cuppa and a relaxing afternoon. I feel really good today, I haven't felt like this for a while. Perhaps it is because I've been so worried about how DH and DS would go without me here and it seems to be going better than I expected.

BBL
Lv Spring

[Michelle71]

Spring - the nanny can get Oscar to sleep for 1-2 hours and all I get is the 30-40 minutes Typical. Pleased he went well with DH. It is a relief to know they can cope without you for a few hours.

Thank you for understanding - all of you. I didn't think the decisions would affect me as much as they are. I guess I have been hoping we would fall pregnant all on our own and the world would be wonderful. I know - wishful thinking but you have to have some hope or you would go completely insane.

[Willow]

Slowly dying here (have food poisoning or some sort of gastro bug) but just wanted to reply to Michelle - I'm hearing you! Although it's likely that we won't be having another baby, but if we decide to give it one last shot, I'll be faced with the same decision. Have you considered doing a few cycles of clomid, continuing to feed Oscar and just see what happens? I know one of the girls in the cloth thread did this (without her ob knowing!) and she fell prg after a few cycles, so it is possible. I'm sure you already know this though. I've considered doing a sneaky couple of clomid cycles and seeing what happens but in my case, it's unlikely to help me fall prg anyway and if it's going to affect our b'feeding, it might not be worth it for us. If we do an IVF FET, then I think I'd have to stop feeding.

I'm trying not to think about it too much until a final decision needs to be made, probably not until L is at least 12 months, so I don't envy you...

It totally sucks though....it's not fair that we should have to make the choice, then again, not much of this journey has been fair on any of us!

Anyway, I'm going to crawl back to bed now...

[Michelle71]

Willow - I hope you get better soon. Off to bed soon. The little person has gone down to sleep, so far so good. We can only hope. And thank you