Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss April '08 #2

[~Jayne~]

ANNA _ Sorry that AF has turned up, what a brown cow she is! Like Michelle said, the 4 months will fly by & you'll be making that pg announcement sooner than you think! I am loving your mothers day gift. They rock don't they? Jessica made me a card of a cup of tea with a teabag stapled inside & a poem at Thriving Three's & I've put it into her treasure box already. My first ever Mothers Day, Jessica got me a gold ID bracelet that says 'Mummy' on it & 'Love Jessica' on the back. I have the box put into the treasure box as well. I keep all things like that. Mainly so she can go & show her children one day.

SPRING _ I know there will be other Mothers Day's, I am just being selfish. It's kinda like Christmas in a way, it's 'our' Christmas as well, but yet we have to spend the whole day travelling between the various relatives houses & not get to enjoy it ourselves. I just wish sometimes that we could go away for Christmas & then we could just spend it together & not tearing about getting from this person's place to that person's place. I guess that's just how it goes! Does your man still work in the Army? Is he home now? I know they do much longer stints than what Alan does, so I should be thankful. BTW, I love how subtle your man is about his shopping. V E R Y stelth-like! PMSL.

MICHELLE _ All I can say is: with the seedy feeling!!! LOL.

ME _ Having a very bad day with Jessica. I'm just tearing my hair out with her. She is just one of those kids that unless she is occupied every single second of the day she gets up to mischief. Also, I am going through this 'thing' where she will NOT listen or do a single thing that I tell her. I know you are all sitting there nodding in agreement, but it's just sooooooooo frustrating! I can tell her the same thing 100 times & it's not until I unleash the dragon voice & give her a major dressing down that she will do it. I hate speaking in that tone to her but I can't figure out why she responds to that more? Grrrr!!! I feel like such a failure sometimes. Maybe I need parenting classes or something?

[Auntie M]

howdy everyone -- i'm coming in to crash your thread with our little Reyna in tow. i know some of you from the ttc and pregnancy threads, and look forward to meeting the rest of you. a quick recap -- i am the new proud mom of Reyna, who is three weeks on friday and Yeti who died last year a few days before he was born at full term but who is in our hearts always.

Lynn- oh dear, i'm so sorry to hear that you had to go to the hossy. it sounds like a lot of pain, and to have to leave your lad in other hands -- that is so stressful. i hope you are feeling better and are spending lots of make up time.

i'm sure you all will understand how i feel just now -- Reyna threw up twice this morning and once last night, and i am so sure it is some illness when it probably is because i ate chocolate last night. i am secure when she is happy, but beside myself when she is in any pain or distress. my damned imagination makes me think it is all sorts of horrible things, and i have to check her breathing all the time. will my doctor send me packing if i call? i just don't see how she could gain weight if she throws up everything she eats. do you guys worry over everything with your children too? is this normal?

[Michelle71]

Auntie M - welcome to the next level of insanity I still check if Oscar is breathing (when he isn't kicking me out of my own bed that is ) You worry about everything - usually because there is always this underlying fear that everything is now so perfect something MUST go wrong. It has before, why isn't it now. It does get better but I found the first few months so anxiety inducing I was worried I was losing the plot on occasion.

Good to have you in here

[bailey99]

Oh Auntie M, it is normal.....well, normal for us. Hence this thread, lol. I do the same as you, always checking Lola's breathing - I even check my 4 year old about 5 times a night now. If either of them even cough I start thinking the worst - it's a hard way to live isn't it? As Michelle said, I too think that something must be about to go wrong as she is too perfect. I think it does get a little better, but I think we will always worry a little more than other mothers do. Call your Dr if you are worried, I'm sure they will understand, i'm sure they've seen more anxious mothers than you! And if not, who cares? It will ease your worry and that is what really counts. I'm sure little Reyna is just fine.

[bailey99]

Oh Michelle, congratulations girl!! I can't belive it happened so quick while still b/f. That is excellent!

[LisaL]

Hi ladies,

Anna - So sorry about that darn af turning up ,but im sure Jett made all your pain go away.. You know that spring is the best time to TTC......

Jayne - oh cool, any chance of him taking my DH with him?? LOL!! Your one of the best mums I know! You dont need parenting classes, we all feel like that at times when these special little people dont behave they we think they should.

Spring - I have heard that the book 'Save our Sleep' is a god send and really gives some great advice on getting babies to sleep. I havent read it myself, but two mums i know swear by it. Might be worth looking it up in your local library. With DD everyone kept telling me to do CC but I cand stand her screaming in the cot feeling deserted, so i refused, I just started with feeding her dinner earlier and a simple bedtime routine (bath, massage, milk, book and bed). Im v lucky as she doesnt wake at night, last night she stirred about three times, and all i did was give her back the dummy and shed settle herself back to sleep. I know its hard, hang in there, it will all get better..

AuntieM = welcome to the crazy world of motherhood, when I brought DD home, I used to poke her to make sure she was ok, even when I knew she was breathing, I just wanted to see her move. I still check her now, and although she can sleep through the night, i still get up twice just to check on her.

SOrry gals but gotta fly, no time for more personals, have to go and finish mums day shopping, pick up something from post office and make 50 cupcakes for my friends DS christening tomorrow!!

Have a great weekend/...
Lisa xx

[mako]

Sorry girls but no time for personals atm as Sage is STILL soooooo unwell. He is absolutely covered in spots and all he wants is lots and lots of mummy cuddles.He screams whenever I pass him onto DH or MIL atm. Just breaks my heart seeing him sick like this

Just wanted to wish Willow a very for today. Hope you've had a great day!!!!!!!!!

Also Anna Sorry that af has arrived but how cute getting that lovely picture from Jett.

[Spring Angel]

Mako: Your poor little pumpkin. I really do feel so sorry for him. I hope he starts feeling better soon and you are doing ok in the circumstances.

Anna: The pressy from Jet sounds so cute. What a lucky mummy. I can't wait until Oliver starts making things for me. Those are the things you will cherish forever.

Jayne: You are not being selfish at all. A mother's day without DH around would be really tough. DH is out of the army now but is working in another Essential Service so he still goes away. He is also still in the Reserves so that means weeks away at a time still. Thankfully it isn't months anymore. Sounds like you are doing it tough with Jessica at the moment, I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I can offer one of these

AuntieM: So great to see you in here hun and to hear about your beautiful little girl Your fears are completley normal. I remember being so scared of going out for a walk with DS in case a dog attacked us or he got bitten by a bee. How crazy is that Sounds silly now but at the time I was so worried.

Lisa: Thanks for the tip on Save our Sleep. I've read the No cry sleep solution which did have some useful tips but I am just too tired to start anything IYKWIM. Mum is here in a few weeks for a month so she is going to help DH and I with the horrid night shifts to see if we can get DS sleeping at least 6 hours. I'll get a copy of that book though, I'll try anything. Hope the cupcakes turned out great.

Michelle: Still feeling seedy? I hope so and you know I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Willow: I hope you have had a wonderful day and have been spoilt rotten.

Bailey: Great to see you in here. How is my future DIL going?

Well My sister is in Sydney this weekend for her BF's brothers engagement party so I get to hang out with her tomorrow which I am so excited about.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday and an extra special Mother's Day.

Lv Spring

[Janie]

Sorry, no time for personals, jsut wanted to wish Willow a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Hope you have had a great day hun

[mako]

Hi just wanted to wish you all a very happy Mothers Day for tomorrow.I hope you all have a lovely day with your families

We won't be doing anything too exciting as poor Sage isn't too well yet.Thats ok with me though as I still get to spend the day with my 3 boys(ds,dh and black lab)

I'm soooo exhausted atm. Having a very sick little boy really is hard work. Its all the more harder when dh won't help out much. He spent 3 hours in the shed last night drinking and having a great time with his mates while I was in here trying to settle a sick,crying baby I don't need to tell you that I certainly told him how I felt about that It made no difference though as he's been out doing the boy hobbies all day today and probably won't be home til well after 5.I wouldn't mind if Sage was well but when he's sick it would be nice for him to help me out and give me 5 minutes to myself just to do the simple things like have a shower or have something to eat.
Sorry just my little rant.

I have just been sent this little message and wanted to share it with you all as I thought it was lovely

A mum is gods love in action
She looks with her heart and feels with her eyes
A mum is a bank where her children deposit all their worries and hurt
A mum is the cement that keeps her family together
And her love lasts a lifetime

Happy Mothers Day

Willow thanks for your message last night hun

[Janie]

Mako, big hugs and sympathy from me It was so hard when DS was sick last week (but harder for him of course) I literally got nothing done except the bare essentials, like eating a bit and washing his stuff. Everthing else went to pot. And my arms got very tired from carrying around 10kgs all day and night LOL! I don't know how people do it with more than one. I hope Sage is better very soon, it's horrible when littlies are sick.

DS has not slept all day. Oh, sorry, he slept for about 2 minutes in the car, but promptly woke when I brought him inside. I don't know what to do, I'm pulling my hair out. He's actually better than me playing with his toys ATM while I devise ways of MAKING him sleep LOL and slowly go insane. I think I'm the one who needs the sleep actually. DH has been working today (what's new!) and about an hour ago he said he'd be about an hour........so I keep running to the window to see if it's him in the driveway so I can escape! My whole day has gone to pot, but I'm going to try to resurrect it once DH is home. I have a few things to do before going to mum's for lunch tomorrow, and I want to get them all done today, so that I can just enjoy tomorrow without running around.

Please send some sleep vibes for all of us!!!!!!!!

[Willow]

Heya girlies - I'm back!!!

I've sorta kinda caught up but will skip personals for now, hope you forgive me!!

Well - all the relos and friends have finally left today!! I am EXHAUSTED!! L hasn't slept all that well the last week, particularly during the day. We've had a house full of people for a week now (and most days noisy children everywhere!) and he's almost cut his two bottom teeth so hoping he'll settle back down again. Having most success with him having a sleep in the morning from about 9-11am and then again in the afternoon from about 2-3.30/4pm. It means he's awake during the middle part of the day for longer than I'd ideally like, but if I try to get him to sleep then, he won't have a bar of it (Sez - I hear you babe, I'm pulling my hair out too!!).

Thank you for all the bday wishes!! Had a pretty good day yesterday. Spent the day with my parents and sister, we went for a long walk around the regatta centre (5k) then went for coffee in the afternoon. Mum made me a roast on Thursday night and brought my fav bday cake. Last night we had indian with our besties at their place.

Logan's christening was fantastic apart from the inlaws - they turned up to church half way through and then went watch shopping (WTF??) after the service so were late getting back here and missed out on having photos taken. DH and I were fuming. They've been weird ever since and I'm getting strange vibes from them which can only lead me to conclude I'm/we're in the bad books again. Have no idea why.

I got very emotional on the way to the church and bawled my eyes out! It just reminded me how thankful I am to have my little boy and to share such a special day with him.

It's been a pretty emotional week for me actually. My best friend came over from adelaide. Things have been very strained between us the last 18 months or so. I had lots of issues with her surrounding our loss and some stuff that happened with her and in the end I found it easier to just shut her out. Since L's birth things have greatly improved but having her here has made me realise things probably won't be the same with us again. Makes me very sad. She was staying with our other best friend as I had family staying here and they were having so much fun shopping and hanging out, going to dinner etc I just felt like the third wheel whenever I saw them. Petty and silly I know but on the way to lunch the other day I was feeling really awful about it and came as close to a panic attack as I've been since starting counselling. Awful...speaking of which, my pychologist called me the other day because i stopped going to see him...um ma!

What else...think that's about it - OH!! how could I forget - I am very proud to report that our little boy is now saying 'mama', 'dada' and 'nana'!! How clever! So far his development is a bit more advanced than his sister so he surprises me a bit when things like this happen. He said all three for the first time on his christening day!

Well, that's all a bit disjointed and rambly but that's the best I've got right now!! Will be around again as normal so will do personals later.

I missed you guys!

**ETA: Oh, while i'm thinking of it...Sydney girls - what do you think about a meet up at the baby expo?? Thought it could be fun?

**ETA#2: This just in - we have a tooth!! and another to follow, probably tonight I think!

[mako]

Willow What a clever little fella you have Its tough when we have fallings out with our best friends hey. This happend to me when dh and I got engaged and were planning our wedding. My bestie was to be a bridesmaid when one day we went shopping for dresses and she packed the s***s and told me that MY wedding was about her not me.... WTF.... Needless to say we had many words and we didn't speak for about 18 months. It was only that she sent me a txt msg for my birthday that we made contact again and each time we met it was only when it really suited me as I felt I wasn't going to put myself out too much after all the c**p she put me through over the years. Anyway we still catch up for a coffee(or a choc milkshake for me) every now and then. Our boys are only 4 weeks apart in age so its nice to see them play together sometimes.

I'm sure your IL's will get over their little issues too.

Are you going back to your psychologist or are you going to see how you go??????

Oh and a big for L on getting his very 1st tooth. WTG young man!!!!! You've beaten Sage lol. His is still sitting high in the gum but stillhasn't popped through. Oh well it will happen in its own time I guess.

Sage is asleep in his cot now. This is a huge thing for me as he hasn't slept in there since last Sunday night. I'm hoping that this is a sign that he is starting to feel better.

Janie I'm sending you loads of sleep vibes hunni. I understand what you mean about needing some sleep. I think I've managed to get 15 mins at any one time during the night since last week. Its so hard on us mummys but even harder on our little ones as they don't understand why they are feeling unwell. Hope we all get some sleep tonight

[BekZ]

A Very Happy Mummies Day to everyone. You are all such wonderful mummies, don't every forget it!!!!

I don't have much time for personals so I will be quick and I am so sorry if I miss anything.

Jayne - You are not alone regarding your Jessica. My miss Sara is very similar and some days I just feel like I am a failure and that I have no control at all. Sara just will not listen some days and I find myself resorting to putting her in the "thinking" corner quite a bit. I have often thought of parenting classes too. Hugs hon. I find that you need to be firm and consistent, make eye contact (some times I feel like Kath and Kym when I say to Sara "Look at me"), and follow up on your discipline and always explain why you are setting the boundry. All this is such hard work but in the end you will get improvement.

Mako - poor little Sage getting the nasty chicken pox. I really hope he gets better v soon.

Michelle - Excellent scan results.

Anna - Sorry that AF turned up...hugs hon.

Hi and huge mothers day hugs to everyone. I may get back in soon but I have Loren's Christening to prepare for next weekend and DH is going to WA for the week and it looks like we have sold our house.....I am exhausted already.

BTW Miss Loren started to say da!!!! today. Cheeky little muffin

[Willow]

Happy mother's day girls!!

I hope you all enjoy lots of cuddles with your babies that are with you, and don't miss the ones that aren't too badly - I know this is a very bittersweet day for many of you

[Michelle71]

Happy Mother's Day to all the mummies from all the earth babies and angel babies

P.S. It is cloudy today

[Willow]

Michelle - I noticed that too

[Spring Angel]

Happy Mother's Day to each an everyone of you. I know this day is somewhat bittersweet and I only hope that you are realise just how special you are.



Lv Spring