Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss May '08 #2

[Willow]

OOOMMMGGG - can I just say 'me too!!!' You all have my understanding and sympathy!

Sleeping has been deemed 'uncool' in our house too. Not only am I getting up to L (who had a shocking night the night before last but an average night for him last night - ie bed at 6pm, had to resettle him once or twice, feed at 9.40pm, feed at 12.40am, feed at 4.30am then out of bed at 7.30am) He is for the most part sleeping well during the day, generally has about 2 hours in the morning and an hour and a half in the afternoon, but sometimes he likes to throw me a curve ball just to keep me on my toes - like yesterday. He had a shocking night the night before, so I figured he'd sleep well. Wrong. Couldn't get him to go to sleep till 11am but then he slept till just before 2pm! I must admit, during the day, he sleeps, but I struggle with the lack of routine and never knowing if/how long he's going to sleep.

But DD...OMFG, I swear she's going to be the death of me. We're STILL having issues with her waking at night. I have no idea what has happened, why she has started waking or what to do about it. I admit that last night I was just at the end of my rope so I let her SCREAM for about 20 mins I just didn't know what else to do. I am soooooo tired and sooooo over the lack of sleep. When I finally couldn't stand it anymore I went back into her and when she calmed down she said to me "But mummy, you made me sad" - holy cow, I bawled my eyes out for about 10 mins, which just upset her again.

In the end I brought her in to bed with us, only to have L wake for his feed just as I was falling asleep

I had a weird dream last night that I fell prg naturally (a very unlikely event!) and that I went for a scan and was prg with twins. Part of me was over the moon (and I couldn't wait to call Michelle to tell her! LOL!) but the bigger part of me was terrified that I wouldn't cope and everyone would finally know what a useless mother I am

I'm just feeling so down about this mothering gig at the moment, I ask myself every day what it is I've done wrong and why my kids just won't SLEEP!! If it were just one, I could live with it, but two is killing me. Why does it seem like every one else has it sorted? I'm supposed to be going to lunch and a play date with a friend of mine today. Thinking about cancelling because I am just so sick of whinging about our sleeping issues and I know it will come up. She has kids that have slept well from birth and man, it's hard to take on days like this!

Well, that's my installment of doom and gloom for now! Who's next?!

Jayne - so sorry you lost your little bunny baby

Argh, gotta go, L is crying.

[jlk]

Hey all,

how is everyone? seems there are a few bubs out there who have decided that sleep is not an option, hopefully they all settle soon.

wel the flu has started to hit our house, DS (14) has come down with it & it looks as if DD (12) is coming down with it too, plus she has her second cervical cancer immunisation yesterday so she miserable with a sore arm.
So, my guess is it's gonna be a long week. lol

[Michelle71]

Bordering on completely losing it this morning. Late home from work, didn't get to bed until 1am just as the little person woke and stayed awake / unsettled until after 3am. About 2 hours sleep before he woke again and was unsettled until we got up at 6.30am. Now - he won't bl00dy sleep!!!! He is so tired and I need a nap before I go back to work this afternoon. 3 hrs sleep just isn't enough to be safe. DH suggested calling in sick but I think I need to go to work for my sanity. There have already been tears this morning (mine) because he is being such a challenge ........... and as I type this he just climbed onto the armchair next to me and slid off the arm head first into the toybox (soft edged and filled with mostly soft toys)

Off to try to get him to nap - heaven forbid My sympathy and hugs to us all - there must be something in the water / weather that hopefully goes away soon

[Willow]

Awww Michelle, hang in there! You are doing amazingly, I cannot contemplate how I would be coping with going to work at the moment too - hello, I'm still in my PJs!!

Just a random thought - how is Oscar feeding? Is he OK or a bit fussy? Just thinking the prg/feeding thing could be causing him to be a bit unsettled? Sometimes happens in the early weeks. My DD was fine, didn't notice any change but some little ones don't like it when mummy's milk seems a bit different. I know you've probably already considered this and would have noticed a change, just trying to help! I wish I had a magic wand for us all. Seems a bit cruel that after the rough ride to parenthood, it has to be this hard some days.

L is asleep but has been coughing the whole time...PLEASE don't let this be the start of another cold...

Sydney/Newcastle girls - anyone feel like a meet up soon? We could all have a group hug and cry over coffee...

[AnnaT]

Ugh he finally went to sleep at 12:30am. Thankgod he slept til 9:45am otherwise I would be feeling worse than I do.

I woke up feeling cruddier with my flu though I feel like I want to toss my cookies and my neck feels like a weightlifters. Bring on the weekend so I can collapse in bed and sleep sleep sleep whether DH likes it or not.

Willow - ugh I feel for you, Im lucky my 20mth old sleeps great with the occasional night terror thrown in. If he didnt I think I would have lost it months ago! Have you thought about talking to a sleep school for tips on how to help her stop waking during the night?

Michelle - I had to giggle about O's fall into the toybox I hope he naps well for you today.

Im off to try and shower, will have to take Jett in with me and get Ripley happy in his highchair.

[~Jayne~]

TO all who aren't sleeping -
Send your kids my way, there must be something in the air here because mine are sleeping like logs! Bring yours over so they can inhale the sleeping dust! LOL.

Have a great day & MICHELLE, get some freaking sleep woman!

[Lynn]

OMG! Can I join the non-sleeping club!

Ethan has been a pretty good sleeping since he was born and maybe I bragged too many times!! Last Friday night he decided that sleeping at night wasn't cool! He was awake every hour and has continued this up until last night where he actually slept through until 5am. I don't know what is going with these kids at the moment...........maybe the change in the weather?!?!?!

Sorry I have MIA for a while.....just busy with organising things for when I go into hospital. I go in on Friday to have my gallbladder removed and they have said that it will take about a week to recover so I am frantically trying to get things done this week that I can't do next week. My mum and MIL will be baby-sitting (me and Ethan!) next week as I may not be able to lift him for a few days. I just hope his sleeping gets better otherwise my mum might be on sleep-overs too!

Jayne - we might just take you up on that offer!

Anna - hope you are feeling better soon

Willow - I'm up for a catchup just not next week. Your dream was too funny! Except the part about you being a bad mother - no you aren't. I hope that DD and DS start sleeping for you soon.

Michelle - big hugs to you babe I don't know how you do it! I hope Oscar settles down for you soon and that you can get some rest. How are you feeling with the pg???

Jo - That is no good that your house has been hit with the flu. Hopefully it doesn't go through the whole house!

Janie - thanks for asking about me. I have been lurking but haven't had a lot of time to post. I am surprised that I am still here typing - Ethan usually interupts me! Your plant sounds beautiful. We have a garden for Coopie and it has white roses in it which seem to flower all the time. There are so many flowers on it at the moment.....I love it!

Mako - I hope everything went ok at the paed.

Spring - hope work has been ok this week.

[mako]

Jayne That is what I do EVERY time. I just figure he wants some company and he does settle reasonably fast. Its just that he won't stay asleep Thanks for the advice though. Really appreciate it

Maybe we should all send our bubbas to your house. Won't that be fun for you

Our appt went really well at the Paeds this arv. He is very happy with Sage's growth,development and the wat he's taken to eating his solids. We asked about the sleep thing and he's suggested that I cut out 2 of his 4(yes 4) feeds during the night and see how that goes.He seems to think its just a comfort thing and I agree there as he'll only have a few sucks and he's usually back asleep for another hour or so I really don't think its going to make too much difference as he screams when I have offered him the dummy instead. But we will try.

Willow I'd love to catch up again soon. I'm available Mondays and Tuesdays if thats any good for everyone else.

Must run as we are having people over to watch the footy and this place looks like a bomb has hit it

Hope WE ALL have a better night tonight.

[AnnaT]

Argh. I think Ripley is mega constipated. He was grunting a bit last night, pulling his legs up and going all red in the face. So I gave him some coloxyl because it had been awhile since he'd done a poo and this morning he had a poosplosion. Today/tonight he's doing the same thing though, Ive given him 3 doses of coloxyl since this morning and nada, zip, zilch. Poor thing isnt too upset by it but just keeps grunting and pulling his legs up and his tummy is all hard I have no idea what to do and Im knackered/feeling really sick.

Sorry this is just a vent. I can see this will be another looooooooong late night.

[Spring Angel]

I think we all need a big group hug sounds like there are some cranky babies and tired mummies around here.

Michelle: I salute you, as I said working shift work, with a sleepless baby and a little Edna to grow is just insane. You are a wonder woman. Like you have offerred before, I am here to give you a hand if you want. Oliver loves playing with Oscar so if you want I can come over and the boys can hang out and you can get some sleep. I'm free Friday and all weekend (DH is working - isn't that a surprise so please take me up on the offer if you would like.

Jayne: I am so sorry to hear that you lost one of your bunnies. That is very sad.

Mako: So great to hear that Sage is going so well especially after getting chicken pox. You can tell everyone who has questioned your breastfeeding that he is growing wonderfully and perfectly so there

Janie: Your rose bush sounds absolutely wonderful. I agree that it is a sign. When we buried Harry we placed 4 yellow roses on his coffin. One for me, his daddy and his twin (obviously Oliver wasn't born yet). Well just before Harry's first birthday the yellow rose bush out the front came into bloom with you guess it, 4 yellow roses. I took a photo in case no one believed me.

Willow: That mummy guilt is a shocker isn't it. By the sounds of it leaving DD for 20 minutes was the best thing to do, you are only human and you have your limits so taking a step back to recharge is what I would do. Sorry to hear you got so upset, you are a wonderful mummy so don't forget that.

Jo: It is horrible when sickness goes through the house isn't it? Here's hoping that it isn't as bad as you suspect and you have a nice weekend.

Anna: I agree, bring on the weekend, I think that we all need a sleepin and pamper this weekend. Lucky for me (NOT) Dh is working yet again but I plan on taking Oliver to bed with me and cuddling and snoozing all day long, Well that's the plan

Lynn: I have been thinking of you and I know how hard it will be for you to go into hossy on Friday. As I've said before, I am only a call away so please tell DH and your mum if they need anything just to give me a bell. Let me know if you want visitors in hossy or once you are home. Wishing you a speedy and painless recovery.

Well I am happy to say that I can see the white on DS teeth and they are about to erupt. So here's hoping that the end of his terrible sleeping (or lack thereof) is almost over. Today was so hard at work, I was running on about 3 hours and it actually felt like I had a really bad hangover.

He went to bed at 7.30pm tonight and we have already resettled him twice so it looks like another shocker ahead. I have only finished doing my work (yes it only took a week and I bringing work home so I'm off to bed to try and catch up and not feel nauseous with lethargy.

Big sweet dreams to everyone.

I am so fortunate to have such wondeful support and to know that it isn't only DS who has caught the awake bug. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Lv Spring

[Spring Angel]

Anna: You can try giving him a gentle massage in a clockwise direction on his tummy. Just use two fingers and go clockwise around his belly button. It has helped settle DS before when he seemed to be constipated.

HTH
Spring

[Michelle71]

Well - here it is. Heading on to midnight and Oscar is awake, in the lounge with me, grumbling because he is tired. But will he sleep ...... NOOOOOOOOOOO So I have just got home from work and I would love to go to bed but we will be up until he gets tired again and then hop he sleeps.

Willow - the feeding doesn't seem to be a problem. He is happy enough and still has FF when I am at work and at night before bed most nights. He BF at least 4 times per day and more if he can get it

Lynn - I am in complete denial with this pregnancy. I live in hope that all is well but I have no idea. No blood monitoring, no scan since 6 weeks (and we are 9 weeks tomorrow) and I go to see the OB tomorrow afternoon. With this lack of sleep I don't have the energy to focus on worrying. I can't change anything so I pray everything goes ok.

Thank you Spring I am lucky that DH is off at least one day this weekend and on Monday too so I will get some rest. He has also offered to do the night but Oscar settles quicker with me and I can nap - DH can't. Evening shift is easier for me because even though I get up early, I do get a nap when he sleeps (occasionally) so it helps me survive the day. Plus I am nocturnal so it helps. Try to leave the work at work - you get trapped into it soooooo quick and try to do the FT equivalent on PT hours to feel like you are pulling your weight.

Sydney / Newcastle girls (and anyone who would like to travel ) I was planning on having a little soiree at my place in early June to celebrate the survival of the first year (although I have to get there yet ) so I will check the roster and see what we can arrange!!

BBL - gotta get this little person to sleep!!!!!

[Spring Angel]

Michelle: 9 weeks! Wow that is insane. I can't wait to hear about how you go this afternoon. I lived in denial about Oliver until about 30 weeks so I totally understand.

Well I see that you are online so looks like our boys had a very 'interesting' night again. Thankfully Oliver slept ok in our bed last night and this morning his teeth are even closer to the surface so fingers crossed.

Count me in for Oscar's Birthday, I would absolutely love to come. You'll have to know if there is anything in particular he would like, I'd love to get him a specail 1st Birthday pressy from Oliver.

Well time for some breaky and see what lies ahead for today.

Lv Spring

Oliver has just learnt that the high chair isn't a stable surface to practice his standing tricks on, time to go and sooth a head googy.

BBL
Lv Spring

[Willow]

Arrrrgh! Lost my post...BBL...

[Spring Angel]

Just wanted an pop in an check to see if Michelle had been to the ob yet. I'll check in later to hear all the great news.

Lynn: Good luck for tomorrow hun. I'll be thinking of you and here if you need anything at all. Hopeing you have a speedy and painless recovery. :goodluck2:

[Janie]

I think it's almost time to put me in a padded cell............ Fortunately my dad is here ATM ( he lives in Canberra), so while it can have it's own challenges it's great to have a helping hand, and someone who loves to play with DS.

Just wanting to check if Michelle had seen the Ob yet.......let us know how it goes hun

[mako]

Just wanted to wish Michelle all the best for the appointment with the OB :goodluck2:

And also :goodluck2: to Lynn for tomorrow.I wish you a speedy recovery sweet.

How did all the bubbas go last night? Hopefully better than the little rascal that lives here lol. We did manage to cut the 12:30am feed out and just put the dummy in but lo and behold he woke at 1:30am and then spent the rest of the night in our bed waking at 2:40,3:55, 4:30,5:15 and 6:00 and then up at 7:05 only because we had to be out the dorr at 7:30 for me to go to work and I wanted to make sure he had a bit more of a feed.
This is doing my head in and of course DH doesn't hear a thing but says did you have a bad night again GRRRRRR.

On a brighter note, Sage had his 2nd swimming lesson and he loved it again. Kicking his legs and splashing his hands etc. He's just so adorable to watch. He brings tears to my very tired eyes lol

Anna just wanted to say that I've been known to give Sage 5mls of 100% orange juice when he's constipated. Seems to do the trick here

Got to run as I need to go out and pick up my mum's mothers day pressie as I've been slack(thats what happens when you've got a bub with chicken pox) and we're seeing her tomorrow after I finish work.

BBL

[~Jayne~]

Good luck with your op, Lynn. I"ll be thinking of you.

Bugger all you woman for making me brag that my two were doing well with sleeping! I was up about 8 times last night. They played tagteam! I look like I've been run over by a bus! LOL.