Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss June '08 #2

[Lynn]

He's at it again...................gotta go.............

[Spring Angel]

I cringe just thinking of how hard nights like those are.

[Willow]

OK, anyone else noticed that there seems to be a sleep deprivation plague happening with us?

I feel like this is slowly driving me insane... I don't know how much longer I can do nights like this and it's only been 4 days....

Lynn, I have NFI..werid thing is L is fine during the day, but night falls and all hell breaks loose.

I think with E though, it could possibly be teeth, he's at that age...

I'd better go, I should be in bed, you never know, I might actually get 20 mins sleep

[Hope]

Hello sleep deprived mummies!
My goodness it sounds like you guys are having a rough trot in the bed department lately. Hamish has been really good on the whole-- once we got the reflux sorted and helped him self-settle he's been generally a great sleeper ever since. He basically didn't sleep at all for the first three months of his life so I think he's still making up for it now.
Lynn-- Could Ethan's reflux be troubling him? Hamish never really vomited as he had silent reflux so the only way we knew was the constant crying, back arching, etc. Have you got his cot up on an angle? I'm sure you probably do but just in case. Is he medicated? I'm not an advocate of medicating babies but for us it changed ours and his life. He was finally able to sleep and grow and get out of the underweight range. It could also be his teeth as Willow said. DS spent a few nights crying in his sleep in the lead up to his first two teeth cracking.
Willow and Janie-- I hope there is some respite for you guys tonight (and that you don't tread on any vermin in the middle of the night)!
Michelle-- I can't believe Oscar is practically ONE! And I just noticed you've got another bundle on the horizon, CONGRATULATIONS. What fantastic news. We've started to talk about number two but will put off TTC for a little while yet. After Hamish's first few months we thought we may have an only child on our hands LOL! It's amazing how quickly you forget.
Lisa-- Yay on the work offer! What do you think you'll do?
Mako-- How exciting are those first few words? Hamish seems to be on big learning curve at the mo with his speech and has started to try to mimic words, it's so cute. He says ishy for fishy and calls everybody dadad. I'm sure there'll be days we wish they'd not learned to talk at all!!!
Must jump into bed-- had people over for dinner and a load of stuff to do tomoz. Night all,
Hopexo

[Spring Angel]

Willow, if I could tell you how many nights I have fallen to my knees in tears you would question my sanity. Sometimes I feel like it is all too much. I question whether DS is like this because of something wrong I've done. I don't have the answers but what I do know is that this will pass.

Get thee to bed, get as much down time as you can and know that you are not alone, there are plenty of BB Zombies walking the halls with you.

Nighty ni

Lv Spring

[Auntie M]

howdy everyone.

lynn- i too went with the medication for the reflux like hope, and it has made all the difference with reyna. she doesn't cry and backarch and grimace in pain. but also, we bought off of the internet a sleeping wedge that is a foam wedge of 30 degree angle with a velcro harness at the bottom to keep her from sliding off. since we got it for her, she has not refluxed once that i have heard in the night (she sleeps between dh and i so i usually heard her doing it at least 3 or 4 times after feeding and before i went to sleep). the bed makes all the difference for her sleep. i've also propped up her nappy changing tabletop and her play area. i'm sure you've already done this all, but if you haven't looked into the wedge bed i highly recommend it. of course, she still doesn't like to sleep after 3 am, but she sleeps quite well before that, so at least we get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep before the fun starts.

i've no suggestions for anyone else, only sympathy and hope that this too shall pass (quickly!). i'm also selfishly hoping you will all figure it out so that when i get there with reyna, there will be loads of answers for us!

[Lynn]

Ok so after my post last night I feed him and put him to bed and slept until 4.30am - yipee!!! Then he went straight back down until 8.30am - another yipee! Perhaps it was just a 24 hour unsettled time????? I'm hoping so. Today has been ok but your posts have got me wondering whether it is the reflux causing the problem. Thanks to everyone for their wonderful suggestions. Yes we do have his cot on an angle and no we don't medicate him. I am not 100% against medicating E but I just wanted to try first without it..........maybe I need to look into it. Before I did I just wanted to say what he does and then to get people's opinion as to whether it could be the reflux or just him being unsettled. He has been very unsettled over the past few days but he has always strugged when we put him to bed. Ok so after a feed we hold him upright for about 10 minutes, some feeds he brings up a lot and others just a bit. We can put him on his play mat and he won't be whinging or anything. Sometimes he still brings up a bit of milk (some fresh, some regurgitated). The problem starts when he gets tired and we take him and wrap him. He struggles so much, arching his back, kicking his feet, throwing his head back and crying. Eventually...............he goes off to sleep. Just a question, can a baby not have reflux and be a chucker? I'm just wondering whether the reflux is ok but he is just a chucker baby or whether this is the reflux????? Since putting him on the AR formula months ago he has stopped crying after feeds it is just when we put him to bed. Could it be because he doesn't want to lie down because he knows that his reflux is going to start up????? Why can't he just tell me?!?!?!?! J/J they are funny little creatures aren't they?!?!?! I'm thinking I might go to the gp next week and talk to her and just see what she thinks.

If you have a reflux bub - what meds are they on?

Hope - E doesn't have an underweight problem - if only you could see him! He used to be the 50% now he is more in the 70% so he is obviously still putting on weight even though he is chucking. But thank you for querying this because I didn't even think it might be his reflux again because I thought the AR formula had helped.

Willow - No I don't think it is his teeth. I have felt around and I can't feel anything. I will keep checking though. How did last night go for you?

Auntie M - I'm so glad to hear that the wedge has helped little Reyna. There is nothing worse than listening to a bubbie cry because they are in pain.

Spring - thank you. How did your night go last night?

[Flowerchild]

Hi everyone, I have been offline due to internet problems - no phone either but I am back - albiet very quickly as SIL is arriving any tick of the clock. Just wanted you to know I am still here!

[Hope]

Hi Lynn! I'm so sorry to even suggest it-- I just immediately think of reflux because of my own experience. It could be very well like you said that he is just having an unsettled period. I know around the 5-6 month mark DS became such a pain to get to sleep and then in a matter of two or so weeks he was self-settling again. I was always guessing with DS's reflux because I was bf'ing so I'd often wonder how what I was eating was effecting him. He was quite severe though and was actually having bloody stools for about 4 weeks. He was never a chucker so he was three and a half months before he was diagnosed with Silent Reflux. He was put on zantac and after about two weeks it changed all our lives. He could finally sleep. I hope you don't think I was suggesting your little guy was underweight?! I was merely trying to explain our own reasons for seeking medical advice. He is now a VERY healthy weight and has been off the Zantac since 8 months. Apparently once they are sitting, crawling, and eating food in most cases it resolves itself. If you haven't had much trouble since starting the AR formula he is probably ok and I should be shot for making you doubt it! My girlfriends bub was a massive chucker but was a HAPPY CHUCKER!! It never bothered her at all. I know how frustrating it is when they can't just tell you what is wrong with them and it is our natural instinct to try and make it better but the one thing I have learned as a mother is how much of this baby business is pure speculation. If only the little buggers came out talking!!!! When DS got his bottom teeth I couldn't see or feel them but he was still having some really unsettled nights as well as runny poos, etc. I'm so sorry for even suggesting it!! I hope tonight is a better night. Have you tried putting him in a sleeping bag? We wrapped Hamish until he was nearly six months and we had that same fight on our hands every night until he eventually went to sleep in our arms. Once we put him in the bag it probably took about a week to get him used to it but now he LOVES it. We still give him his muslin wrap as a blankie and he gets so excited when he sees it and mashes it into his face. My fingers are crossed you get a bundle of sleep tonight!

On another note-- We have a babysitter tonight!! Woohoo!! Will give Hamish his last bf and hand him over to Grandma then we are off to the pub with friends. Can't wait so had better find an outfit!!!
Happy long weekend all,

Hopexo

[Janie]

Happy Birthday Oscar!

Hope you have a wonderful day little man. Happy Birthing Day Michelle You did it hun, you made it through the first year. And well done on 12 months BF, I know how hard you worked to get here

[Spring Angel]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSCAR

I hope you have a magical day little man.

WHOO HOO Michelle 12 months breastfeeding is awesome.

I hope today is an unreal day.

Lv Spring

[Willow]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSCAR

Michelle - you did it!! I hope you enjoy this very special day with your very special little man. I'm sure Caitlyn is looking down on you both today...in fact, it's nice and cloudy, so I know she is!!

[Hope]

Happy Birthday OSCAR

Have fun celebrating all that you have achieved and learned as parents and all that Oscar has achieved and learned in his first year.

[LisaL]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE MR OSCAR!!! Im so very proud of you and your mummy!! Hope you all have a wonderful day filled with lots of fun, cake, balloons, and lots and lots of kisses and cuddles!!

Just quickly SATC was amazing, I want to do watch it again and again and again....

Hope - so wonderful to see you sweety!! Hamish is such a little cutie and i am going back to work and hiring someone to work for me! I'll just cut down the amount of work and loose one client so that the load is managable between myself and one other person!

OK ladies, I feel for you all, and i hope these babies managed to get some sleep last night! DD was a screaming newborn, until I took her to the chiropractor. She had colic and constipation and her neck was slightly out due to her being stuck for hours during labour. I know that the chiropractor can help with things like sleep, something to do with nerves etc etc.. Im an advocate of all that alternative treatment stuff, and since I took her to the chiropractor she has been sleeping straight through (at 7wks!). She still does have the occasional sleep and settling issues, but generaly these are confined to times where she is unwell or just before the appearance of a new tooth. Something to think about, epsecially when you think you have tried every method in the book!

Hugs to all and hope your having a great weekend

[Lynn]

Thank you so much for your post Hope I hope you didn't take my post the wrong way......I actually am glad that you suggested the reflux and teething issues because it has made me look at it again. And no I don't think that you were suggesting that E was underweight, I was just telling you that he wasn't and if only you could see him.......he is a little porker! LOL! You should definitely not be shot for suggesting anything......I actually appreciated everything that you said. I needed to hear those things and that is why I posted. Mmmmm ok so maybe E is teething but I just can't feel it yet. I will continue to feel around and see what I come up with. No I haven't tried a sleeping bag although I did look at them the other day in the shops, maybe I should get one and see how that goes. Well we had a 30th last night (just at a friends place) and I was nervous taking E because he has been so unsettled lately but he was just a little party animal! He didn't want to sleep but he was grumpy either.........just happy to smile at everyone. We got home just after 10.30 and he went straight to sleep and woke up at 5.30am this morning - wooohooo! I think he may have just being going through an unsettled few days but I am still going to get his reflux checked out with the gp and talk to her about meds. I will see how he goes over the next few days and then make a decision. I hope you had a nice night out last night.

Happy 1st Birthday little Oscar!!!!

[Spring Angel]

Lynn: A question you asked earlier. Any form of spewing is reflux but it is possible for kids to be happy chuckers. You remember how much DS used to bring up after feeds, I had a bib on him 24/7. Sounds like Ethan has just had a few tough days and he will be back to himself soon.

Well we almost have news, no, I'm not pregnant (I knew that would be the first thing you thought) it is that we are very close to having a date to move back to Brisbane. I'm not going to say the date yet, but it is about 8 weeks away. There are a few more things that we have to organise first, but it is all looking great. It looks like DH will be staying here for about 6 weeks and doshing down with mates, but Oliver, Harry and I will head up with the dogs. I am so excited I can't explain it in words. Hopefully by mid-week we will have more details.

Hope y'all are having a great long weekend. I'm about to bake a cake and then we are going to watch Talladega nights. Then we are off to Toys R Us to by a very special little boy a birthday present (that's you Oscar).

Lv Spring

[Janie]

Great news Spring!

Lynn, DS can be quite the grumpy bugger at home (when it's time to go to bed anyway ) but he is SUCH a party animal when we go out! Until all hours too!

LIs, I can't wait to see SATC! I LOVE that show, and have seen them all a million times LOL. Don't tell me any spoilers

[Willow]

Lisa - I took L to a chiropractor as a little baby and now we go to a pediatric osteo. We have an appt with her next week, so hopefully it helps. I know that Michelle and Spring have both taken their little guys to a chiro too. Unfortunately, didn't work any miracles here like sleeping through the night.

Spring, that's great news for you, not so great for us Sydney girls... but I'm happy that it's all working out well for you. What about work? You going to resign or can you transfer?

PS Ok I admit it...I've NEVER watched SATC...does that make me a traitor to womankind???