Parenting After Loss & Miscarriage - July '08

[~Jayne~]

Grrrrr I was just at the end of all these really cool personals & the computer went stupid & I lost it all!

I will BBL I am meant to be vacuuming anyway, so perhaps it was Karma paying me a visit!

[LisaL]

Hi ladies,

Yay we are back on line!!

How is everybody?

We are good, just trying to organise a venue for someones 1st birthday! I cant believe its creeping up - just over three weeks to go! She is just getting so big, clever and is extremely active. I never really imagined how true the saying 'they grow too quick' really is.

OMG Janie - I just noticed your little note under your name - Im guessing the little man likes In the Night Garden. Alex looooves it. If we are in another part of the house and she hears the theme song, she speed crawls to the tv. Its ok - but I really do hate all those made up words..what ninky nonks!

That is all from me for now, im trying to get some stuff done for tomorrow morning, off to the office and I have a wedding this weekend so got heaps to do tomorrow and friday.

Lisa XX

[~Jayne~]

JANIE & LISA - Ohhh yes! We are big fans of the Night Garden too! Claudy trembles with excitement & runs like the clappers through the house when she hears the music. We have the plate, bowl & cup set & she tips everything out of off it to see the pictures BEFORE she starts eating. & have some books. She can point to most of the characters when I say 'Where's Iggle Piggle/Upsy Daisy' etc... She is mad on them. I think that maybe they are made by the same people as those Teletubbies people? I have noticed that she gets tranfixed on Teletubbies too. Oh & I have a really cute leggings & t-shirt set that I bought from the UK for her to put away for Christmas. Jessica even likes Night Garden as well.

OMG about planning a birthday party! NOooo way! That's insane!

DEB _ Hope you got your cooking aid all safely home & into it's new kitchen! How exciting! Sorry to hear that coughs/colds & flu's are regular pests in your house visiting Little Immy. That's really not fair!!! Sounds like you are doing all the right things though How is the little precious today?

WILLOW _ LOL, sorry! I didn't even realise what I was meaning when I said grey! I was thinking grey fur but didn't make the connection with grey hair! So not only now are you grey with lopped ears, but sounds like you're sprouting feathers aswell! Miss Clucky Duck! Loving that L is waving & showing off his new tricks! Clever man he is!

MAKO _ WTG on Sage with the sitting up & being a nosey parker out your window! Sounds like you've been major busy! BOL with DH's job application! Let us know how it goes!

MICHELLE _ How are you & Edna & Oscar? Hope all is good with you guys! Bet Edna is making HER presence felt more & more each day.

ME _ Claudy had swimming lessons today & OMG it's like she is a diff child since her grommets have gone in. Maybe because she can hear what's going on now because the water is draining out her ears or she just feels a million times better but she can kick her legs now! Before you'd tell her to kick her legs & she'd look at you like she was thinking 'you're kidding me right? a princess like me doesn't DO kicking legs'. Now she does it on command & she is even pulling her arms & kicking her legs up to the surface after jumping in! It's great! Jess is at daycare today, she is making some nice little friends so that is wonderful for her. Off to go looking at some kayaks for Alan's birthday when Claudy wakes. Lucky for me I have 2 weeks until after his birthday before he flies home.

Love Jayne

[mako]

Willow I just wanted to say a very happy 9 month b'day to "L".
And thanks for your support in the other thread earlier too. I'm sure I'll do the "say nothing"thing as we do Its a bit easier at times iykwim?

Hi to all of you. I'm off to bed as its late and I'm stuffed

[Michelle71]

Hi girls!! I am slowly recovering and getting a bit better (finally). Off to bed while the boy sleeps as I didn't get much sleep last night and DH is hoping for a sleep in tomorrow before I have to go to football. I will be back to chat soon but I have been reading and being entertained (as usual ) by the antics of the Miss Jayne crew.

Message from Deb - her internet is down and 2 of the little ones are sick so she is not around at the moment. She will be back as soon as she can but I will keep her posted with any news as it comes.

Big hugs to everyone. Chat soon!!

[Willow]

Having a seriously bad time atm, WHY is it that every time i feel like we've finally turned a corner and these sleeping battles are behind us he goes and proves me wrong again??

I just don't know what else I can do. I'm sick of thinking about it, talking about it (as I'm sure is everyone else!!), crying about it...

And now after reading post from BG I feel like the most ungrateful, undeserving, rotten mother on the planet.

Man, what a loser...

[Janie]

NOT a loser Willow, just a normal, sleep-deprived mummy. Big big hugs hun I so know where your coming from, and I'm sorry that there's nothing I can do to help. It sounds so cliched, and it's probably not what you want to hear right now, but it WILL get better. One day all this awfulness will be a distant memory, you'll hardly remember how hard it was. And just remember, he's not proving you wrong, he's just being a spirited little human being. You haven't done anything wrong, you're a wonderful, loving mother, just trying to do her best. I know you're sick of talking about it, but we're here for you if you need to

[Willow]

Janie, thank you. I'm feeling better this evening, but had a major brain snap this morning. I think both kids are coming down with another cold (which could explain sleep issues I guess) and we've had such a full on weekend, including dinner for FIL last night that didn't finish till 9.30pm and we had both kids with us, then out again all day today - not really conducive with great sleep when the little man is a bit off.

Sorry for the spaz attack....

[mako]

Willow Please don't apolagise hun. It is ok to feel awful when we are sleep deprived hun
These little people in our lives sure do know how to make life "interesting" don't they? One minute we think everything is progressing nicely and then what do you know,they decide to do something different which seems to throw everything out the window. I really do hope you all get some much needed sleep tonight and I hope "V" and "L" wake up feeling alot better in the morning.

Janie How are you hun?

Michelle I'm pleased to hear that you are starting to feel better too. How is Oscar and Edna?

Things are ok here. Sage is doing well except he has decided that its NOT ok for mummy to leave the room without him even if daddy is there with him and that nobody but mummy can cuddle him or settle him or do anything for him
This is very frustrating especially for Daddy as he doesn't seem to understand that this is a "stage" that bubbas go through.

I hope you are all ok. Its been a bit quiet in here lately.

[Willow]

That's the thing, I don't really feel sleep deprived, I haven't for months now. He sleeps pretty well at night - he doesn't sleep through but I'm still getting 4-5 hour blocks of solid sleep. I average about 10 hrs a night, it is broken sleep, but that's still more than enough. I feed him before I go to bed (so anytime from 9-10pm) then usually again around 2ish then an early morning feed and after that he goes back to sleep again for another few hours. So it's not the lack of sleep.

Days have always been worse than nights around here. The other day he slept for an hour all day then we had to go out to dinner so he didn't get to bed till about 9.45pm and was beside himself, overtired and very hard to settle.

I think it's the mental exhaustion of it all. I just want it to get better NOW and it does my head in from time to time.

Yesterday was better, had a nap in the morning, although not long enough, then we went out for yum cha but when we got home i put him down and just let him sleep, he slept for over 2 hours but I had to wake him up cause it was dinner time.

They've both definitely got colds. Rotten runny noses and DD has started coughing, sneezing etc. We're supposed to go to our ABA meeting today but its a pretty cold day here so I think I'll keep them rugged up at home and hopefully L will catch up on some sleep.

[LisaL]

Willow -sweety I think we all know how you feel and mini melt downs are good to clear some headspace so you can deal with whatever the next day brings. I hope things are better today hun Ah the joys of motherhood....

Big hi to everyone else, and thanks Miss Jayne for the fab Miss Jess updates!

have a good day ladies
Lisa XX

[jlk]

Hey all, just letting you know that I am still here, just really struggelling with things at the moment, especially with Finn's due date coming up soon

[LisaL]

Jo

[Flowerchild]

Hi everyone - finally I am back online... I won't even go into the frustrations with the lovely telstra!!!! I have had 3 different guys out and finally now we have adsl back and a phone that works (for now!). I really love living in the country but I really find it frustrating that it means we have rotting cables and it doesn't seem to matter!!!

Anyway we are all alive and okay - just inconvenienced!

Yes the kitchen aid (did I mention pistachio!!!) has arrived in her proud position on the kitchen bench. She has been used relentlessly over the weekend and I LOVE her!!!

Immy still has a cold - the three other little ones have a tummy bug and I am about to collapse. Apart from that all is well!

I will BB later tonight or tomorrow - need to catch up in here!

[Michelle71]

Just a quick one before I go to bed - yes, I DO know what time it is

Deb - I LOVE my kitchen aid. Do you have the pasta making atachments yet?? And the juicer, slicer, mincer?? Homemade pasta is so much easier with that machine. And you can use the 2 hands to feed the pasta instead of having to turn the handle!!! And the baking (drool) I just wished my oven worked better.

I think I must be hungry ..............

[LisaL]

Michelle, the hours you keep is in good practice for when Edna arrives!

Big cheerio to everyone else.

Last weekend was bubba #1's edd. I would have had a three year old now The gap would have been enough to allow DD's pg anyhow, so two under three would have been crazy, but beautiful. Just wanted to share xx

[Rowie]

Willow, I know I haven't been around - no excuse and I feel really bad but see if you can get a hold of either one of these books.... Silent Nights by Brian Symon OR Sleep Baby Sleep by Tizzie Hall. Both are brilliant and make a lot of sense in the grand scheme of sleeping babies. I sware by Silent Nights but love the routines in Sleep Baby Sleep.... Just a thought....

[Willow]

Hey Rowie, thanks for the suggestions. I haven't read Silent Nights and don't know much about it but Tizzie Hall is definitely not for us, no offence. It's great that you found her book helpful but to be honest those routines scare the crapola out of me! LOL I just can't function in a rigid routine like that and there's no way DS would go along with it either, he's just not that kid. I'd just be setting us both up for failure. We have a 'routine', more like a loose structure to our day based around his naps and he has had a firm bedtime routine since birth. I am confident I am doing all the right things and have even taken him to a great sleep school but unfortunately it's just one of those things where there's no magical answers. It's just so frustrating when I know he can and does sleep well, then all of a sudden it goes downhill again. We have really good stretches but they just never seem to last very long. Last week sleep was great, now this week he's come down with a cold and we're back to square one

Thank you for posting and trying to help, I really appreciate it

Jo - I'm sorry you're still having a tough time. Do you go to counselling or have someone you can talk to? I can't imagine the grief you must be living with, I only wish there was some way I could help. We are always here for you if you need us

Spring - where are you????

Michelle - go to bed woman! LOL!

Mako - thanks for the hugs! I don't know what I'd do without you guys seriously...

Lisa - anniversaries are hard...i was just thinking about my angel today actually and how old she would be, how i would have coped with two so close together (would have been 17 months between her and DD). I really, really want to get my tattoo done this year but still need to do some more research about tattoos whilst b'feeding before I decide.