Parenting After Loss & Miscarriage - July '08

[~Jayne~]

WILLOW _ Don't feel like a loser! You are anything BUT! I take my hat off to you for looking for other solutions & asking for help! That is a big leap in the most positive direction. As Deb said, he will cry regardless, you simply cannot try & correct a sleeping habit without tears. Don't think of him crying because you have upset him, think of him as 'protesting' with the crying, because he isn't able to stay 'stop it mum, I"m not going down to sleep' he's crying to tell you that. I really, really hope you get some good help & soon, I really feel for you honey!

DEB _ I am sooooo loving that you are all risque with your new walled! Bless your heart! I love it.

[Willow]

Deb - thank you so much, I have so much respect for you so your post means a lot When I hear stories like yours and Ruby's it makes me realise things could be so much worse, but they could still be better too. For ME this is too much and I need to try to make some changes if I can.

Jayne - thanks babe. It's hard not to feel like a loser, especiallly the second time around. I have no doubt that my biggest undoing this time has been my need to wrap this beautiful boy in cotton wool and my fear of letting him cry With DD and sleep issues I was so matter of fact and able to just do what needed to be done, but not this time around. I need to find that middle ground again. I know there will be tears (probably more from me) but I also know I'll have someone there to support me through it and that they will not encourage me to let him cry without comforting him. It's the only reason I'm comfortable going there.

Janie - I emailed my GL tonight and told her that I have decided not to go ahead with my BC training. It's just more than I can commit to at the moment. I am disappointed to have to make that decision, but I know it's the right one for now. There's plenty of time later when things aren't so hectic.

[mako]

Willow You are such a wonderful,caring mummy hun. Please don't EVER feel like you'll be judged in here for the choices you make for your family. You know what your family needs sweet and we are here to support you and listen to you too Please feel free to call me anytime too if you want/need to chat

Deb sounds like you had a lovely birthday. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
I have to let you in on a really big secret too..... Immy isn't the only precious bub in here who has fallen out of bed recently Sage has fallen out not once.... but twice in this past week. I have been feeling sooooo bad about it as I've fallen asleep with him feeding during the night and haven't put him back in between DH and I and its then that he's fallen out,hit the floor with a thud and screamed. Poor little guy. Luckily he hasn't sustained any injuries though.

Michelle How are you hun? Hope all is ok at your place.

*WARNING TMI*
We've had a bad day here too. Not with Sage though but with DH ane me. I've got a vomiting/gastro bug thats going around and generally feel like c**p and DH rings me this morning from the hospital emergency to inform me that he's had an incident with a 4 inch grinder and has chopped part of his finger off He has lost all of his nail, several layers of skin and the tip of his finger is cut on a 45 degree angle.ARGH MEN

[LisaL]

Just a quick one from me to send lots and lots of hugs to Willow You have to do what you have to in order to survive motherhood sometimes, so good on you hun for making that decision. Your a fab mum sweets, better than me, you have two little ones to deal with!

[LisaL]

Where have all the mummies gone????

Just a quickie from me. Alexandra had her first bottle of full cream milk today! She didnt even bat an eyelid she just scoffed it down as she would with her Karicare. Now my Q is, do I start her on full cream for all of her milk feeds, or keep it to one a day for the next few days to make sure there is no reaction? She is currenlty having 3 bottles a day (about 600ml in total).

Thanks ladies. Hope you all had a fab weekend!
Lisa

[Janie]

Hey Lis, I'm pretty sure we did it gradually........can't remember how though DS scoffed his too, I don't think he could tell the difference LOL!

Willow, I hope you're doing okay. Here for you if you need a shoulder hun.

Hope everyone is well, and had a nice weekend

[LisaL]

Thanks Janie. Me thinks the 'gradual' approach is probably best. Oh and guess what I saw at Kmart today - a full range of In the Night Garden toys wtih Upsy Daisy and Iggle Piggle dolls

[Janie]

LOL Lis, any guesses as to how I've escaped to the computer (while eating my brekky) at this time????

Where ARE all the mummies?

[Michelle71]

I'm here. Just a little too pre-occupied with the impending scan and the lead up to D-Day (well - one of many ) to be too chatty. Just trying to get through each day with my sanity intact. I didn't realise just how anxious this was making me this time. Edna, being a girl, is making it harder than I ever imagined it could. I though after Oscar it would get easier, and maybe it would have with a boy but I am having a crisis in faith that my body can do this properly with a girl on board. She is kicking happily in there which is reassuring but still, I am worried and I can't seem to shake it. Methinks a chat to someone is heading on my agenda.

I would, however, like to thank everyone for the washing machine discussion (although I am sure DH would love to strangle you ) We are now the proud owners of a Blanco front loader which I am just about to have the pleasure of using for the first time. That will teach DH for sending me out on chores to exchange his work coffee machine. It is amazing what you find when you are only kind of looking for it

Willow - sending you a big hug. No one is judging you, nor should anyone. There but for the grace of ............. someone, goes I!! I have a child who fluctuates in his sleeping patterns and definitely changes with his growth and development. He is just lucky that he changes into a semi decent pattern before I completely lose the plot. We are back to (generally) one wake up after 12mn (I don't count the ones before I am in bed!!) - although that wake up can take up to an hour to sort out and then we are up anywhere from 5.30am, but usually 6. You need to do what makes you and your family happy and content. I went back to work to (partly) save my sanity and don't regret that at all, although there are days when I miss him immensely and yet I am better at home with him because of the time we spend apart. I hope you are doing ok.

BBL - must wash while the boy sleeps

[LisaL]

Michelle I can imagine that it is that little bit harder this time because it is a precious pink bundle on board. Have faith in you and in that little girl who gently kicks you to remind you she is ok. We are all here to hold your hand through this hun.

Willow - hope you are ok sweets.

OK ladies, I need a favour. There is a lovely young mum here on BB who is struggling financially atm and is in need of some second hand clothes for her kids (two boys aged 4 and 3 and a 4mo girl). I have some stuff for her from Alexandra, and was wondering if any of you had stuff you wanted to giveway that will suit children of that age, or even slightly bigger sizes? I will pay you for the postage (EFT into your bank account) and all I ask is that you actually send it from wherever you are. For the melb girls, i can always come and pick them up and organise postage myself. If you think you can help, please PM me and we can arrange it. I dont want to post on the other forums, as I have offered my help and dont want to make a 'big deal' out of it or make her feel bad. Just want to do something nice.

Thanks,
Lisa

[Michelle71]

What sizes are they?? I have some things floating around but mainly little boy stuff. My sister has given me some things but it depends on what she needs. Warm clothes or clothes for the warmer weather??

[LisaL]

Michelle,
I only want you guys to send stuff if it was something you were going to give away to charity etc.

Boys sizes from 4 - 7 and girls from 00 upwards. Id say probably more things for the warmer wheather as where they are is a better climate and its only going to get warmer over the next few months.

Thanks ladies..
Lis XX

[AnnaT]

I wish I could help Lisa but all my boys clothes are small sizes (2 and under) and I dont have a little girl. Otherwise I would be happy to donate some stuff. Let me have a think and I'll pm you if I come up with something.

[LisaL]

Thanks Anna. Im sure even if I send just one item she will be grateful.

How are you going? I cant believe you alredy 9 wks! Hope your feeling ok

[AnnaT]

Im great actually, tired all the time with an occasional bout of nausea but nothing like my last pregnancies! Im pretty calm and collected for now but that wont last Im sure. I have an u/s and check up on wednesday and then I should be switching from private OB to the new birth centre here thats opening in Dec which is exciting. I will finally get my waterbirth. I wanted to have the birth Ive always dreamed of seeing as its my last bub.
I just wish I could speed forward to March and know that the hard yards are over and bub will arrive soon. I hate waiting and panicking at every little twinge.

[Janie]

Lisa, let me have a look at what I've got packed away and see if there's something suitable for her little girl. Should be the right size for summer, so I'll try and find something not too boyish. I have a friend with older boys, and she's always getting rid of their clothes, so I'll see if she has anything too.

[Spring Angel]

Hi guys

Long time no see, I've been working full time but I'm finally back in the land of the living.

Willow: no one has the right to judge you matie. You are an amazing mum, I've seen it with my own eyes. Just be easy on youself and don't let that Mummy guilt get on top of you.

Michelle: Hun, big coming at ya. If you ever need to chat or vent I'm here for you. Sending you heaps of positive vibes for the big scan.

Lisa: I'm really sorry, I don't think I have anything appropriate. Is there anything else she might need, blankets, washes, towels etc? Just let me know, I'd really like to help.


Mako: Hope DH is feeling better. Mine is sick at the moment and he can barely get off the couch.

Hi to everyone else. I've been around just working full time for 2 weeks so I just haven't had enought time for anything. I'll be around more often now.

The countdown to Oliver's 1st Birthday is on. The begining of the house guest arrive tomorrow so wish me luck.

lv Spring

[mako]

Lisa I wish I could help your friend out hun but I don't have anything that would suit
If she needs anything else though PLEASE let us know and I'll see what I can do.

Spring Its good to see you're back in the land of the living hun Are you having a party for Olly?
I hope your DH is feeling better today. Mine still isn't 100% but he is on some strong AB's so they should really be working soon.

Willow How did your appointment go yesterday?

Michelle When is your scan hun?
How's the new washing machine going? I love mine. Its taken a few weeks to get used to it but its all great now.

I better go as the boy is awake again. I'll catch up on more personals tomorrow.
Take care