Needing Support

[mikki]

Hi All,

I had my 12 week scan at 9.30am on Saturday i was so excited, my last scan at 6 weeks and 4 days showed a healthy heart beat, i was looking forward to seeing my baby only to discover its heart beat had stopped and it had passed away although it is stil inside me, I am booked in for a d and c on Tuesday. Im so devestated and although i have a very supportive partner i feel lost and alone. Has anyone been through a similar situation?

[Toccara50]

Hello and sorry for your loss there are many women here who have been through the same thing, I have also had a miscarriage but did not need a D & c because my baby passed on it's own ...

[chappas]

Mikki- So sorry to hear of your loss. I went through similar thing in Nov but did not have d+c. I am pleased you have found this place the women in here are very supportive.
Take care of yourself

[Kitt3n]

oh miki

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had two very similar experiences. THe first i m/c'd naturally and the second I had the d&c.

I know the horrible, hrrible alone feeling, even if you have the most amazing support network i think anyone would feel alone at such a time, no one seems to understand.

Just let out every emootion you need to and try to let your body and heart heal xx

[kbowman]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mikki. It's so heartbreaking when this happens. I didn't get to see a heartbeat before my first loss but I did with my second and allowed myself to get excited. Ended up having a D&C at 12 weeks instead. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time and space grieve. If you can, take comfort in the support of BB like I did and find hope in the success stories that are shared by those who have m/c but gone on to have their bubs.
Sending you lots of healing vibes and love.

[RachelSwirl]

My heart goes out to you sweety. I was pregnant last August and went for my 12 week scan in November all excited and we were told there was no heartbeat and the baby had passed at 8weeks and was still inside of me...
I had to have a d/c and then followed by a second one due to remaining products. We still have not conceived and are our trying our damndest.. I am in surgery again on Tuesday with suspected endometriosis... THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN TO YOU HUN! WE ARE JUST UNFORTUNATE!

It is the worst place to be and please please take your time getting yourself to a place where you feel at least comfortable to continue. I beg of you not to rush back into work and allow people to disregard what is happening to you, as its not just a physical thing, it is incredibly emotional and there are going to be times where you feel unable to do the simplist of things and it is not wise to rush back to 'normal' life.

A lot of the girls here have been through similar things. We are all here to support you and whenever you feel you need a shoulder, a hug, whatever it is... we are here. I am on MSN too if you ever need to discuss it hun, or even not talk about it and talk over something else to distract you. little_earth@hotmail.com is my address hunny... I am here for you.

Also, without sounding morbid, you may wish to try and think of way to mark what has happened, as all too often people feel like they have nothing to remember things by... Personally my husband and I bought a helium balloon and took it to the beach and had a little ceremony and let it go... it did help a lot. Some people buy trees to plant, balloons to let go, flowers to let petals fly from.. whatever it is hunny, do it if it helps.

I truly am devastated for you, its the most horrid thing I have ever been through and it has knocked me by six and I can tell you in all honesty, things have never been the same since. However, I am still here and I am still living in hope.

Huge hugs

Rach
x

[jackisback]

I am so sorry Mikki, I had a miscarriage last November and I think it only really hit me when the due date came around and I had no baby.. everyone reacts differently but we all need to heal and will do so in separate ways.. I agree with Rach, buy or do something to signify what you have had to go through and your loss, someone I know who recently had a miscarriage bought a charm for her Pandora bracelet to signify it, which I thought was a lovely idea if you have one of those. Take care of yourself and let yourself feel and work through all the emotions as they happen.. just remember you are not alone and many many ladies have had to go through the same thing. Take Care