Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage June '08 #2

[Tildy]

I'm so frustrated today, sitting at work, eating my lunch in my office so I don't have to be around people. Crying for the first time since we got our BFP and officially broken through to consuming worry.

I posted about it in the Pregnancy after late loss thread and don't want to go through all the detailsa gain, but I called the GYN clinic today to ask to have an early ultrasound and just am upset at the resistance that I got. Given that I've been offered no investigation as to the cause of my late miscarriage, plus the horrendous way that I was treated after the miscarriage, I felt that asking for ONE ultrasound was not asking for a whole lot, especially since the doctor told me I could "come in any time I wanted" next time I was pregnant, as she thought "easing your worries" is a valid reason to have a scan. But I was made to feel like an idiot and had to give the name of the doctor who had promised me this "special" treatment.

Now the worry and feeling like a victim has broken through from wherever it was hiding, and I'm "convinced" that my miscarriage was caused by something they could prevent if they bothered looking but I'm just supposed to accept my 12-week scan and my 20-week scan just like everyone else and otherwise keep my mouth shut. So sick of these people, and the only private GYN clinic in Link?ping only takes women who can't get pregnant!

[jo76]

hi everyone,
just really quickly -it is d-day for me today -i have THE ultrasound and consultation at monash 9am this morning. Please keep evryone you own crossed and send me and bubs happy vibes. I am going alone, which will be a good or bad thing depending on news. i will post later today! I am so scared and worried and all i can think about on top of everything is what happened with jack!
x jo

[MrsRobbo]

Tildy,

I am so sorry that you have to deal with such resistance about getting a scan. I would have thought you would be able to have one whenever you wanted. Maybe you could just pretend you have slight pains or something to give them a medical reason to do one. Surely that combined with what you have been through would be enough to get them to give you one. Keep your chin up though, we are all hoping and praying that everything goes well for you so if that counts for anything you're fine!

Jo,

I will cross everything I've got for you today and send out as many positive vibes as I can. Hopefully you'll be on here tonight sharing good news with us.

take care everyone
Paula

[tempus moriendi]

Delurking long enough to say hi and we're still trying and wish everybody else the best of luck.

[8weeks]

Goodmorning all,

Thanks for the welcome Paula, Sue.

We've just started TTC again. I haven't started charting just yet though..

Today I am finding it pretty hard to get motivated about anything..but these days come and go.

Have an awesome day ladies.

Cas.

[Katiegirl]

Hi all - lost my post grrrr.

Rather than retype will do a quick one

Welcome to 8Weeks - I am sorry to hear of the loss of your baby and I hope you find support here amongst these wonderful women. Good luck with TTC and I hope your stay here is short.

Jo - I hope all is going well with the scan and that you have good news to share with us. I have been saying some special prayers for you and your baby this morning. I am sorry you have to go to the scan on your own, but hope the news is enough to make you float out of there on cloud 9.

Tildy - so sorry to hear of the resistance you have experienced. I think you should call the dr who gave you permission for scans at any time and let them know that you have been spoken to this way. It is their job to ensure their patients are being treated with respect, and it is the least they can do for you after the horrendour treatment you received last time. As mentioned in the Preg thread, something similar happened in Australia and it got nation-wide coverage, so they are getting off easy!

[hgirs]

Welcome to our little sanity corner Cas, I wish you well on your TTC journey.

Jo - am thinking of you, and hoping your scan has gone well this morning.

Hi to all, I need to get something out that is really bugging me. Over the weekend I suggested to DH that on Cooper's EDD maybe we could let go some balloons or something, did he have any ideas?? Well, don't get me wrong he has been a fantastic support and I think I knew what his reaction would be, but I still am a little upset. You see we are very different in our emotions as a lot of people are, I feel the need to have the last farewell on the 14th and to commemorate the short life of our precious little man, but for DH it feels like it is dragging out the sadness IYKWIM. I don't know what to do, he says if that is what I want he is OK with it, but it isn't what he would like. What should I do, I can't make him feel the same as me, nor do I want too, should I just do something with my DS and MIL?
Confused,
Helen

[sryan]

Hi all,

Tildy I am so sorry you got treated like that. I have learnt from past experience now, is sometimes you have to demand it. Again, it is people not understanding. grrrrr

Jo I have everything crossed for you today. I am so hoping that you respond this afternoon with fantastic news.

Helen I can understand how you feel. Some times (actually most) men want to get on with things and don't want to see us hurting and their way is to try and make us forget (which isnt the answer) while women take longer for the pain to ease and we are the ones that are carrying the child and get more attached. I think you need to what is right for you......

Well I have some good news...... my skin biopsy came back absolutely normal (all chromosones 46xx). So they have booked me in to have my little frozen embie in this month!!! I cant believe how quickly they got me in.... so basically in about a week and a half, I probably will be having my little frosty put in......I am so nervous. The chances are about 70% for the little frostie to survive the unfreezing and about 30% for the little frostie to implant..... big fingers crossed.

They are getitng me in quick, so if the little frostie doesnt work, then I can go straight into IVF Full Cycle before the end of the year and get the benefits of all the medicare threshold.

xxx Sue xxx

[jo76]

its happened again...

[8weeks]

Oh Jo.

I'm sooo sorry!

[MrsRobbo]

OMG Jo, I am so heartbroken for you. Everything I felt when I lost Charlie came flooding back into my body when I read your post. I just cannot imagine how you feel right now. Please know that I will be sending prayers to you and your family.

Paula
xox

[hgirs]

Oh my God Jo, my heart is aching for you & DH...I can't imagine, sending you all my love.

[Rozzie27]

oh Jo, I'm so sorry.

We are all here for you to give you as much love and support as we can.

Big hugs

[Katiegirl]

Jo - I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your little baby. It is so unfair that you are suffering this pain again. Please feel free to contact me if you need a shoulder to cry on or even someone to yell at....

[sryan]

Jo, I am so so so so sorry you are your DH are having to go through this again.

I wish I could take the pain away and that everything was OK.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

xxx Sue xxx

[Tildy]

My heart goes out to you, Jo. I'm so sorry you have to experience this again.

[jen805]

jo--Noooooo! Aww, hon... I'm so, so sorry.... I know that doesn't help at all... I just can't believe it... my heart is broken for you! Super big coming your way! I'm thinking of you and for you, hon!

[MrsRobbo]

Jo, I was thinking about you all last night and felt so angry and heartbroken for you. Noone deserves to go through this once, let alone twice. You can do this though, I'm sure of it. If you need support we are all here, and just know that we are sending you all the courage and strength we can.