Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage June '08 #2

[jo76]

oops! forgot to fill you all in on my OB visit yesterday...
unfortuneately no real updates except that my Ob continues to be in as much shock as me over this happening twice and he has said thathe wants to see me after the autopsy results have come in so we can discuss what it holds for my future. He said time is still on my side as i am only 32 and healthy (unless tests say otherwise!) so to not give up hope. He DID make the huge mistake of calling her passing a "termination" as i had to be induced. It really made me cringe in the worst possible way as i did not CHOSE to terminate, i really think it was a horrible medical term to use and he knew after he said it as i got upset. I think he needs an answer about what happened almost the same as me as he went through my file and looked at everything and just sat shaking his head. he had a poor OB student there and at first i did'nt want him to sit in as i was given a choice but then i thought well he won't always have happy endings either so here is your training starting with me! When i got upset he could'nt even look at me so then i was feeling bad for him! bloody emotions!!!!
Then last night i had a blood clot (warning TMI!!!) that i could actually feel coming out about the size of a small strawberry! I had really heavy bleeding after jack and for months (katie you'll remember my complaints) which i found out when i was having madison, was probably due to an unfinished D&C and they said i should have gone back to hospital and had another one done. So then this clot thing happened even though my placenta passed naturally this time and it was out of the blue as my bleeding has been almost nothing this time round. i am not sure wether to wait it out another couple of days and see what happens or just to go to the docs. I am in no pain, just mild cramping which is to be expected as everything goes back to normal. They said the bleeding should only be around 2-3 weeks which seems very on track this time. i dunno...i am almost giving up on this body of mine!

[danek]

Jo,

I am so sorry. I'm out of touch and did not know that you lost Madison. I wish I could offer you some warm words that could help. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

D

[sryan]

Hi all,

Wish you all the best in the coming couple of weeks.

Rozzie - will be thinking of you and hoping that your scan tomorrow goes well.

Now I hope to see a whole heap of BFP when I come back.

xxx Sue xxx

[hgirs]

Sue - before you go..... I am sending you::crossfingers :: and whatever else there is to hope you are back here in 2 weeks with a BFP!!!

[Hammi]

Jo, I passed a really big clot about a week after I delivered Hamish. It was after I went for a walk and the midwife said that I shouldn't have been on my feet for too long. Maybe that's a sign for you to rest up? They didn't tell me to come in though.

I just depressed myself by reading my old Belly Buddy group. Everyone has given birth and now have their little babies with them.

How about this, my friend at work has a sister who is pregnant with her 8th child. EIGHT!

Pretty please, I'd just like one, thank you.

[Rozzie27]

Sorry for the copy and paste here,

all is well with bub THANK GOD. I'd worked myself into a bad state, compounded by vomiting and a horrendous headache all day, but when she zoomed in the flicker was there, plain as day. H/B was 158 and bub is measuring within a couple of days. I'm kind of annoyed at my OB, firstly for doing a crappy scan (according to DH, never got a good pic) and secondly for being pretty negative... I believe his most encouraging words were: 'there is something there', and 'I want this to work out for you'. Anyway I'll see him in a couple of weeks to get a 12 week scan referral then maybe I'll have an appointment with the high risk fetal medicine unit and see what happens from there.

Hugs to everyone,

Rozzie

[Katiegirl]

Rozzie - so happy to read the good news. I honestly was never very worried as it all sounded like it was more the Ob and his machine. Just so glad that you got a good scan and can now rest easy (or at least try to!).

Sue - good luck and hoping to hear some wonderful news when you return. Please keep us up to date on how things go. I will say a prayer for you today and your little frostie.

Lan - Belly Buddy groups can be very depressing. After Nathaniel I would sneak in to mine and have a look but I found it too sad to see life moving on and at times it also made me a little angry. Funny how we sometimes do things knowing full well it will hurt us - maybe it is because the pain gives us something to hold on to? I have not joined a BB group this time as I just don't feel I 'fit' and what they discuss is not the kind of support I need. I fit in here...

Danek - glad to see you back. I hope you are doing okay?

Jo - Big hugs. It sounds like your dr is doing his best but sometimes their 'medical' terms are just too much to bear. Hopefully he has learnt something from this as to the med student. You really are amazing and seem to doing so well - your baby girl would be very proud of you. Hugs again

[Rozzie27]

Hi all,

well after all is well after my little scare, my attention is now turned to what I should do for Edward's EDD this Sunday. A big part of me wants to leave the house, even the city all day and do things to take my mind off it, but then I feel like that's disrespectful somehow... I know I don't want to sit at home mulling over it. I don't even know if I will feel well enough to do much at all.

Any suggestions??

[Katiegirl]

Hi Rozze - I left you a message in the Preg thread regarding Edward's EDD. I don't think it would be disrespectful to get out of the house. I doubt greatly your baby boy would want you sitting at home. Do something lovely that will make you smile - that is what he would want.

[hgirs]

Rozzie - I agree with Katie, I was in such a muddle about what I 'should' do for Cooper's EDD, in the end my MIL & FIL just took me out for coffee, and watched Corey if I wanted to have a wander through the shops. When they first suggested it, I thought how inappropriate for such a special day, but it did get me out of the house and we had a lovely day together, stopped off at their local club for lunch on the way home, something I never do with a toddler! But it was as if he knew, he was such a good boy all day. But then on the weekend DH and I went away by ourselves. It is so hard to know what to do, but don't put too much pressure on yourself, Edward will be with you no matter what you do. My mother also bought me the most BEAUTIFUL orchid, my biggest fear is killing it! I don't think I would deal well with that at all!!!

Jo - Doctors have the most unfortunate words at times! I think I would have had the same reaction as you. I sincerely hope you are OK, and here is to some super fast results for you.xxxx

Hi to all, I am 5dpo, I ov'd on day 18! I am so excited it seems like my cycles are getting more and more regular! Better than the 6 weeks I used to have, and on the up side, the bding was spot on, let's see what happens!!!!!!

I hope everyone is doing OK, Tildy - how are you?

[Tildy]

I'm doing good, Helen! I changed my mood to "mellow" like yours, because I think that's a good description. I'm home sick from work, as I decided to give myself the whole week, what with a cold or virus of some sort mixed with the m/s and all that jazz. The house is a total mess and neither DH or I feel like cooking. But that's all okay! So, we've got a waiting period now to see if Helen gets a BFP? We'll hope for the best!

Is Sue really going to be gone for 2 weeks now? Trying to keep us in suspense?

Rozzie, I'm so very happy about the good news! One worry down, and only like 250 to go... I don't know what to say about your EDD. Have you talked to your DH about it? What does he think? I'm not good with that kind of thing, and I think it's because the system & way I've been treated here has not really allowed me to think of my baby as real or important in the same way. I'm afraid I'm going to just push down all my emotions about the EDD because no one else will give a damn. So I think probably the most important is that it's something both you and DH want to do. Sorry, don't mean to sound all selfishly negative

Lan -- my sister-in-law has 6 kids. And get this -- there are exactly 19 months between all of them (with the exception of 10 years between numbers 4 and 5 because it was two different marriages). Every one of them, in other words, worked out exactly as planned. So I'm familiar with the feeling you're expressing -- why couldn't I just have one go off without a hitch!

Jo -- I hope your bleeding calms down. So many strange things happen to our bodies when we're TTC and pregnant and have given birth, and we're all so different, it's hard to know what's normal and what's not. In my opinion, if you're debating whether to ask your doctor or not, always ask your doctor. Here's a *hug* from up north.

Oops, have to change my signature... DH turned 31 yesterday.

[danek]

Hello Again,

Hammi, I really think that people with many kids and no complications are a rarity these days. Its amazing how many people have told me of their losses (that were never mentioned previously) now that I've lost Alex. There are so many out there.

Tildy - Its so hard having a cold when pregnant and you can't take anything. Rest up - leave the cleaning and order in the takeaway!

Jo -Hope you are OK. I've been thinking of you a lot over the last couple of days.

Katiegirl - thanks for asking. I'm actually doing quite well. I'm going to counselling and have minimised my commitments. So I have a lot less stress and more time for healing at home with the family. Everything else can wait until I get it back together.

Rozzie - I haven't had to face the EDD but a friend of mine said that when her son's EDD came around following her loss, she just had a day out on a drive with her partner. She said it was nice just to have some peaceful time together.

Hope everyone else is well.

Danek

[Hammi]

Thank god it's Friday.

to you all.

Roz, you'll know how you and DH want to spend Edward's EDD. Don't stress about having to actually do anything. I didn't but it was such a lovely sunny day with clear blue skies, I felt that Hamish was smiling down on me and giving me permission to move forward. Take care of yourself

Special for Jo. Always in my thoughts.

for my favourite mamas, Katie, Tildy and Roz.

for Helen. I hope September is your month for a

Work has been crazy, I'm taking my tired self to lie on the couch and watch mindless movies.

[Flowerchild]

It's time for a new thread my lovelies - you can continue to talk HERE