ttc after stillbirth

[trinh86]

Hi everyone,

I lost my baby at 31 weeks and 4 days on july 5th 2008 at 11:50 PM. My hubby and I named him Timothy Michael. He was the most precious child I've ever seen--so sweet and innocent. I wish this had not happen as it's killing me internally. I wish losing a child should not happen to anyone. No one deserves to be in this much pain!

I plan on ttc again asap. Yes, the pain is there and no, I am not trying to replace the child I lost. There is no way of replacing him and he is his own being. There is no way of bringing him back (if there was, I'd give up my own life for his). But there is still hope of having another baby--an earth baby.

I was told by my ob gyn to wait at least 3-6 months before trying to conceive again. This seems like such a long period. I can't wait or so it seems. It's going to be 5 weeks tomorrow since we lost our son. I have not had any intercourse (sexual) and do not plan to until 6 weeks. I don't know when my period will return (How long does it usually take to return?). I am so scared, but life as we know it has to contunue, right?

I found this information interesting

(HealthDay is the new name for HealthScoutNews.)

New research offers hope -- and surprising advice -- for women who have suffered a stillbirth or have already had one child and want to become pregnant again.

The length of time between pregnancies may play an important role in predicting the risk of stillbirth and neonatal death -- the longer you wait, the higher the risk.

I am on here wanting to ask anyone who had successful pregnancies after stillbirth to share their stories to bring hope to those women who are ttc after a loss (like myself).

Also, how long were you ladies told to wait after your loss? How far along were you when you lost your angel?

How long did you actually wait to ttc again?

THANKS IN ADVANCE ! !

[Rozzie27]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

We lost our first child at 22 weeks. My doctor told me to wait two cycles before trying again, mainly to let my uterus heal as I had a C-section due to placenta preavia. It took over two months to get a normal period again anyway and I got pregnant on the second cycle (the first wasn't a normal one but I counted it as one anyway!).

I think the further along you are the more time you need to heal, so three months sounds reasonable to me.

It may take a couple of months to get back to normal anyway.
It may also take a couple of months to get back any autopsy results, and you may want to know if any problems were identified before you fall again, so if you need treatment etc you can get it.

Good luck, please join us in the TTC forum

Love Rozzie

[diannescruffy]

Hi,
I lost my baby at 24wks and was told to wait 6wks. We started TTC after my first cycle returned and feel pregnant after 4mnths.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your TTC journey and hope everything turns out well for you .

Regards,
Dianne

[trinh86]

Originally Posted by diannescruffy

Hi,
I lost my baby at 24wks and was told to wait 6wks. We started TTC after my first cycle returned and feel pregnant after 4mnths.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your TTC journey and hope everything turns out well for you .

Regards,
Dianne

This is so great to hear! So you have a nine month old baby now. I'm so happy for you and again, thank you for sharing.

So you said that you lost your baby at 24 wks. What was the cause(s)? And they only told you to wait 6 weeks to try again? Amazing how the info is different from doc to doc.

Thanks a millon for giving me hope

[trinh86]

Originally Posted by Rozzie27

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

We lost our first child at 22 weeks. My doctor told me to wait two cycles before trying again, mainly to let my uterus heal as I had a C-section due to placenta preavia. It took over two months to get a normal period again anyway and I got pregnant on the second cycle (the first wasn't a normal one but I counted it as one anyway!).

I think the further along you are the more time you need to heal, so three months sounds reasonable to me.

It may take a couple of months to get back to normal anyway.
It may also take a couple of months to get back any autopsy results, and you may want to know if any problems were identified before you fall again, so if you need treatment etc you can get it.

Good luck, please join us in the TTC forum

Love Rozzie

Hi Rozzie,

Thanks for the advice. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and please update me
You said I will become pregnant when my body is ready, correct? I heard that from a lot of people, but doctors say the opposite. Some even scare me. They imply that if I get pregant too soon, I could lose it. Anyway, I don't know when I'll get my period back, but do you think it's safe to have sexual intercourse after 6 weeks pp without using a condom or birth control?

[Rozzie27]

Trinh,

I don't know about whether it's safe to have unprotected sex at 6 weeks for you, it was definitely safe for me as I didn't ovulate until two and a half months afterwards (when I fell pregnant), I know this because I was doing OPKs. Technically you could be fertile at 6weeks so it might be better to be safe.

Did they find any cause for your loss?

Rozzie

[diannescruffy]

Hi,
My baby had Trisomy 13, a chromosone abnormality. Do you know the cause of your stillbirth? Again I wish you all the best.

Regards,
Dianne

[trinh86]

Originally Posted by diannescruffy

Hi,
My baby had Trisomy 13, a chromosone abnormality. Do you know the cause of your stillbirth? Again I wish you all the best.

Regards,
Dianne

Hi,

The causes of my child's stillbirth was unknown. I had a healthy pregnancy and have one living child. Ther was no cause found which is so scary. Thanks so much for your support.

[Lisa]

Trinh,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious little man Timothy.
I lost my baby boy Noah due to abnormalities of his urinary tract and kidneys at 20w5d in Feb 2006. We were "advised" to wait around 6 months to give me time to "heal". I knew I wanted another baby. We waited 1 cycle and decided to try on the 2nd cycle. We were unsuccessful and decided not to try on the 3rd cycle as that would give me a due date in Feb 2007 which would be too close to Noah's birth date. After not using protection the one time during the 3rd cycle, we found out I was pregnant. We now have a healthy, beautiful 18 month old little man named Harrison.
The only advice I can give you is to do what feels right for you. If you want to start trying again asap, then that is your choice.
From my understanding, they medical profession likes you to wait until you get a regular cycle before you start TTC. That way you have a LMP to go by... though from my experience, most Dr's like a dating scan done anyway.
Wishing you all the very best sweetie. I hope you get the BFP you're wanting when you're ready and go on to hold another beautiful baby in your belly that you will take home with you. Big hugs
Lisa

[sunshine13]

Thrinh,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your little Timothy.
I lost my daughter Angelina Marie at 19 and a half weeks due to a severe case of Preeclampsia.
I have had many of the same feeling that you have after your loss. Not one person should have to go through the loss of a child.

I was told to wait at least 6-12 months before TTC again. We are just at the 6 month mark and we plan to TTC this month. I have this desperate need to get pregnant again I cannot replace her but I need to have a baby. I am not worried that it will take forever to get pregnant this time. We were not even trying when we got pregnant with Angelina.

I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope that being apart of this forum will help you. I just joined one of the others from this website recently myself I have received great feedback which has helped ease my mind with things a bit. Keep me updated if you would please.

Sunshine13

[trinh86]

Hi Sunshine13,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss too. Life is so unfair sometimes, but who do we have to complain about it to? Anyway, I just went to the doc's today and saw a different doctor. This is the fourth doc I've seen since I lost my son. He told me to conceive right now. He said there is no point in waiting unless I am not emotionally ready. I just got my period on the 30th of Aug., so her said that I can use that date to date my pregnancy if I do fall pregnant this month. I'm really excited to hear form a medical professional that I can start ttc again. The doc has 30 years experience. I'm hope I fall pregnant this month. If so, I will be due around Timothy's Stillbirth date. Good luck to you and let me know if you fall pregnant. Maybe we both will get lucky!

[Lisa K]

Hi trinh68,

I know how you are feeling. My story is different but the emptyness is the same. We chose to terminate our son Brendan at 30 weeks due to X-linked hydrocephalus, his prognosis was extremely poor so it was the right thing to do for him and our family. I delivered him on June 3rd this year.

I will be starting IVF as soon as possible and we will choose a girl so she won't have the same condition.

The tremendous pain I was in did subside a little the morning after we placed his ashes, which was only 2 weeks ago.

Try and be strong and remember that it is ok to hurt and cry and feel angry and empty, this is all normal. Keep talking to your partner, it is very easy for a relationship to falter after such an enormous loss but try to keep on the same page as each other and be kind to yourself.

My heart has shed a tear for you, I don't seem to have any left in my eyes.
Lisa xx

[trinh86]

Hi Lisa K.

I hope things will get better for you. I know it's hard and it's so painful. I am praying for you as I am praying for myself. I wish you the best with your next pregnancy. To have to terminate a pregnancy is extremely hard, but I am sure that you made the right decision as you know what's best for your son and your family. I'm thinking of you and wish you to heal well. Thanks for the advice.