My loss

[dearmum]

Hi to everyone,

This is my story,i have 4 kids and had my tubes tied as my doctor suggested it after my last baby 12 yrs ago,anyway i have always secretly hoped the OP wasnt done right and i could fall pregnant again.So going back in May i decided to try IVF and i was sooo excited as i knew once the doc put in my bub i was pregnant and i really was.I went straight out and bought everything for bub except clothes my teenage kids went shopping and bought the baby things also.I was on cloud nine for 20 weeks,and one day i went to the toilet and seen a little blood oh S***T i thought this is no good because i have never had blood with my other babies,so i rang the doc and was told to come in the next day to have a BT and urine test so i did but it was a Friday so i had to wait until Monday to get my results dam.Anyway come Monday at 4pm i thought gosh my doc hasnt called me everything must be ok but i thought nah i better call him anyway just incase gosh they had to look around for my test result and then the nurse said oh yeh you have a urine infection and you need to take antibiotics,gosh i was mad why did they wait so bloody long to tell me.Anyway i went into the chemist to get my meds and the chemist guy said gosh these pills are very strong are you sure your doc wants you to take them?hmm i said well yeh i have to its my OB that said to take them.Anyway i got home thinking should i or not???it was already after 5 so i couldnt ring my OB so i took them,come that night i had slight contractions but i didnt think anything of them because i didnt have any pains.The next morning i was lying on the lounge and bang a whole heap of waters came out and Shoot i knew that was the end of my baby,i rushed to hospital and was told by a B*****Y old mw that calm down everything will be ok if im ok and she didnt examine me until 30mins i felt like shouting at her to hurry up.So she did she it was my waters that have broke and i need to drive over to this other hospital about 30mins away so there i was in the back of my FWD with water still coming out going to another B*****Y hospital i thought gosh this is a nightmare.Anyway i got there and they said there is nothing they could do because i have lost all my water and everything is coming apart,but my baby still had his heart beat i just wanted them to do something because my baby was still alive.I was told no there is nothing they can do,i can only wait until he dies and then bring on the labour,so i thought ok well maybe just maybe he may live until a few weeks and then they can help him if he comes out,i was there in bed waiting for a few days with my baby still alive and i was told i need to make up my mind to let him go otherwise i will get a infection,oh that was the hardest part how can i give up on my baby boy,i felt like i could have gone on for months but my hubby said no he wants me to be healthy and thats the main thing,so come that day we decided to end it,but as i was telling my doc to end it my baby just died i felt more sad because i still had this thinking that you never know he might come out and breath still.I had a quick but painful labour with all my kids around me,and we said our goodbys i still have days were i cry and talk to him.I will never ever forget him.

I do want another baby but im still bleeding from having him and gosh its been like 7 weeks every time i think the bloods gone bang i get another full on bleed i just hope it all goes away soon.
I have put away my babies clothes and things i feel even if i have another baby boy i cant let him use those clothes and things because they werent bought for him.Maybe once my daughter has a baby boy i will give those things to her.

Thanks for listening.

[feeb]

ohh so sorry to read about your loss.

Huge hugs

[Danielle_M]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope writing it down has helped you in some way....

[Marlene]

I am so sorry for your loss. You chose a beautiful name for your baby boy.

[Cassius2]

I am so so sorry for your loss. Your little boys name is so beautiful.

sending many hugs

[diannescruffy]

Hi,
So very sorry for your loss. You will find great comfort and support here on BB. Unfortunately there are many of us who have angel babies so we are here to walk you through this horrible journey. Thank you so much for sharing your story, let yourself grieve and look after yourself.

Regards,
Dianne

[kitten76]

dearmum,
So sorry for your loss
I had the same thing.My waters broke at 19 weeks and I knew that our baby would die.The hardest part was waiting for her to die in utero so I could then deliver.I couldnt even push properly as I couldnt feel her she was so small. The doctors did a post mortem to find out what had happened and they found no reason which was also hard to take.This happened 3 years ago and it still hurts and I expect it always will.
My silver lining is that I have since had another daughter and am pregnant again.Im scared but I have faith that all will be well with him/her.
I hope that you once again experience a healthy pregnancy, goodluck

[dearmum]

Thanks LadiesYeh it cerntainly hit me hard because with all my other children i came late and i have never had any problems so it was all such a shock.I know if i ever get pregnant again im not going to run out and buy everything,i will wait until he/she is born and then go shopping.I guess next time around i will be scared if it happens again.
Ladies how long did you all bleed for after having bub?as for me its been 7 weeks and im still going its so frustrating because i cant move forward.


Thanks again.

[dd0207]

Hi, am so very sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of strength and courage to get through this time.

Have you gone for a checkup/ultrasound to ensure the placenta came out intact? 7 weeks is a long time to be bleeding hun. I was bleeding for a very long time too after my loss and it was because I had retained placenta products. It required two curettes to clear it out. I also had an acute infection which the OB said would cause bleeding as well.

I think it would be a good idea to ask your OB and have a proper check up. Take care and I really hope your body gets back on track soon.

[dearmum]

Thanks i will call my OB and see what he says about this,thanks for the reminder i thought my blood will go by it self but after 7 weeks its still hanging around very frustrating.

[Flowerchild]

I am so sorry Dearmum.... Shaheed is a beautiful beautiful name - and it sounds like your family supported their Mama during Shaheed's birth.

I would consult your doctor about your bleeding - just to put your mind at ease.

I feel sure you will find much loving support here on Belly Belly as you journey through this time of grief and healing... :hug;

[kitten76]

dearmum, my placenta came out intact and I bled for around the same length of time as when I delivered my other children.My breasts leaked too which I cried at because I had no baby to nurse.
Like the others have said, just check with your OB in regards to you bleeding.

At the moment you may not believe me when I tell you that it will get easier.You will never forget and there will be times when you just need to cry esp around due dates and the date your little one passed.My daughters due date was 25 Nov 05 so I know thats not going to be a good day for me.
I hope you find peace soon
XX

[kristi14]

So sorry to hear of your loss

Sending you lots of strength.

[dearmum]

Thanks ladies for all your support im having a doc appt today to see whtas happening about this bleeding.I do feel down at the moment but i hope to recover soon,i hope next year can bring me another baby to fill my heart.

Thanks again.

[dearmum]

Hi Ladies....

It seems i have some placenta still stuck in me,i have to have a D&C tommorro im kind of scared about it will it affect me trying for another bub?Will i be able to work the next day?how long will it take for the blleding to stop once i have had the OP?Have you heard of anyone getting pregnant straight after a D&C? Sorry i just want another baby so bad i dont want anything to go wrong.

[kitten76]

Dearmum,
I had a D&C done when I had a laparoscopy some years back. From memory it was very uncomfortable. You would proberbly need to take the rest of the week off.My bleeding lasted about as long as my period which is 5 days. Ive also been told that a D&C can aid conception as the uterus has had a good clean out. Not sure though. I waited a couple of cycles and then TTC, But talk to your doctor about it. They will know whats best for you physically and when its right for you to TTC.
Goodluck sweetie

[dd0207]

dearmum, so glad you went to the doctor for a checkup. At least you know why you had the prolonged bleeding now. Hope all went well today with your D&C. The procedure is fairly simple - 10-15 minutes but you will need a few days to recover as you'll feel tender for while. The bleeding will probably last a week or so - for me it was a few heavy days then tapering off to spotting - much like a period. Take care and good luck on your TTC journey. Do take some time for your body to heal though - personally I would wait for one normal period before TTC. You need to make sure your HCG levels hit zero also - I think from memory having retained placenta can keep your HCG level elevated as the body still thinks its pregnant - ask your Dr about this.

Big hugs x

[Hollye]

im so sorry for ur loss